You Might Be a Redneck If...

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devildeac
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You Might Be a Redneck If...

Post by devildeac » May 22nd, 2010, 11:19 pm

...You've been married three times
and still have the same in-laws.

Have at it folks.

I don't recall having done this before. :think:
[redacted] them and the horses they rode in on.
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devildeac
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Re: You Might Be a Redneck If...

Post by devildeac » May 22nd, 2010, 11:48 pm

...You think TACO BELL is
the Mexican Phone Company
[redacted] them and the horses they rode in on.
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windsor
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Re: You Might Be a Redneck If...

Post by windsor » May 23rd, 2010, 8:07 am

You mow your yard...and find a car..
Your family tree has no forks...
All that is gold does not glitter, not all those who wander are lost; the old that is strong does not wither, deep roots are not reached by the frost.
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Re: You Might Be a Redneck If...

Post by DukePA » May 23rd, 2010, 1:09 pm

You want one of those old fashioned pits you drive your car over for repairs instead of a lift. Oh yeah, and you want it to double as a jacuzzi! (That's one of Bud's dreams!)
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devildeac
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Re: You Might Be a Redneck If...

Post by devildeac » May 23rd, 2010, 2:03 pm

Your state's got a new law that says
when a couple get divorced,
they are still legally brother and sister.
[redacted] them and the horses they rode in on.
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Re: You Might Be a Redneck If...

Post by lawgrad91 » May 23rd, 2010, 2:08 pm

The preacher says, "Bubba, come up here and take up the offering," and ten men and four women walk to the front of the church.
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devildeac
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Re: You Might Be a Redneck If...

Post by devildeac » May 23rd, 2010, 10:10 pm

Your house still has the
"WIDE LOAD"
sign on the back.
[redacted] them and the horses they rode in on.
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bjornolf
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Re: You Might Be a Redneck If...

Post by bjornolf » May 24th, 2010, 7:25 am

This one happened with my wife's cousin, it just always cracked me up:

if you legally apply to the fire department to burn down a perfectly good house so you can use the utility hookups for your double wide.

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Re: You Might Be a Redneck If...

Post by bjornolf » May 24th, 2010, 7:26 am

one of my personally favorites:

If you have a peeing for distance contest off the motel balcony at your family reunion, and your Aunt Beth wins! :obscene-moneypiss:

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OZZIE4DUKE
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Re: You Might Be a Redneck If...

Post by OZZIE4DUKE » May 25th, 2010, 7:08 am

bjornolf wrote:one of my personally favorites:

If you have a peeing for distance contest off the motel balcony at your family reunion, and your Aunt Beth wins! :obscene-moneypiss:

@};-
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Re: You Might Be a Redneck If...

Post by captmojo » May 25th, 2010, 8:55 am

The front porch collapses and it kills more than three dogs, then...
"Backboards? Backboards? I'll show'em what to do with a f%#kin' backboard!"
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Re: You Might Be a Redneck If...

Post by devildeac » May 25th, 2010, 4:48 pm

You got stopped by a state trooper.
He asked you if you had an I.D.
And you said, 'Bout What?'
[redacted] them and the horses they rode in on.
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Re: You Might Be a Redneck If...

Post by CameronBornAndBred » May 25th, 2010, 4:50 pm

devildeac wrote:You got stopped by a state trooper.
He asked you if you had an I.D.
And you said, 'Bout What?'
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Re: You Might Be a Redneck If...

Post by windsor » May 25th, 2010, 6:28 pm

Directions to your house include "Turn off the paved road"

You have a home that's mobile...and cars that aren't

Your wife's hairdo has ever been ruined by a ceiling fan

Your CB antenna is a danger to low flying planes

Your belt buckle weighs more than three pounds

You consider a six-pack and a bug-zapper high-quality entertainment

You've ever worn a tube top to a wedding
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Re: You Might Be a Redneck If...

Post by lawgrad91 » May 25th, 2010, 7:56 pm

Your wedding dress is strapless but your bra isn't.
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CameronBornAndBred
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Re: You Might Be a Redneck If...

Post by CameronBornAndBred » May 25th, 2010, 8:05 pm

Your strapless wedding dress is camouflage.

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Re: You Might Be a Redneck If...

Post by lawgrad91 » May 25th, 2010, 9:36 pm

CameronBornAndBred wrote:Your strapless wedding dress is camouflage.

Image
She's a fake redneck. Too many teeth. :D
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devildeac
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Re: You Might Be a Redneck If...

Post by devildeac » May 25th, 2010, 10:33 pm

You think Genitalia is an Italian airline.
[redacted] them and the horses they rode in on.
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Re: You Might Be a Redneck If...

Post by cl15876 » May 25th, 2010, 10:37 pm

devildeac wrote:You think Genitalia is an Italian airline.
It's NOT???? :-o :-o :-o :-o :-o :D
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devildeac
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Re: You Might Be a Redneck If...

Post by devildeac » May 25th, 2010, 10:39 pm

cl15876 wrote:
devildeac wrote:You think Genitalia is an Italian airline.
It's NOT???? :-o :-o :-o :-o :-o :D
No 8-X , I believe that would be Alitalia...


:| :)) =))
[redacted] them and the horses they rode in on.
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