You can't make this stuff up!

[CathyCA]

The defendant just told the court that her medicine makes her "comma-toast."

Another chapter in your book should be entitled "Malice and Malaprops."

[devildeac]

The defendant just told the court that her medicine makes her "comma-toast."

Another chapter in your book should be entitled "Malice and Malaprops."

I've got a bunch of medical malapropos. Like this one:

Heard from a patient: “I don’t want to be incubated again”

[lawgrad91]

The defendant just told the court that her medicine makes her "comma-toast."

Another chapter in your book should be entitled "Malice and Malaprops."

I've got a bunch of medical malapropos. Like this one:

Heard from a patient: “I don’t want to be incubated again”

[DukePA]

The defendant just told the court that her medicine makes her "comma-toast."

Another chapter in your book should be entitled "Malice and Malaprops."

I've got a bunch of medical malapropos. Like this one:

Heard from a patient: “I don’t want to be incubated again”

Some of my favorites are, "roaches of the liver," and, "sick as hell anemia."

[Turk]

The defendant just told the court that her medicine makes her "comma-toast."

I just don't want to see any of that "colon-toast".

[IowaDevil]

The defendant just told the court that her medicine makes her "comma-toast."

How do you keep a straight face?????

[lawgrad91]

The defendant just told the court that her medicine makes her "comma-toast."

How do you keep a straight face?????

I am known for my poker face.

Today, though, I snorted.

The Rev. LG has laughed his head nearly off at "sick as hell anemia."

[devildeac]

I've got a bunch of medical malapropos. Like this one:

Heard from a patient: “I don’t want to be incubated again”

Some of my favorites are, "roaches of the liver," and, "sick as hell anemia."

How about that woman who had "fireballs in her uterus?"

Or the patient who had fever, a severe headache and back pain who told his family he had the "Smiling Mighty Jesus."

Let's see what the Rev. lawgrad thinks of those.

[lawgrad91]

I've got a bunch of medical malapropos. Like this one:

Heard from a patient: “I don’t want to be incubated again”

Some of my favorites are, "roaches of the liver," and, "sick as hell anemia."

How about that woman who had "fireballs in her uterus?"

Or the patient who had fever, a severe headache and back pain who told his family he had the "Smiling Mighty Jesus."

Let's see what the Rev. lawgrad thinks of those.

Fireballs in the uterus sounds like a reason for a not guilty plea.

[devildeac]

Then there's the patient who told me she couldn't be pregnant because she had a previous tubal litigation.

Shortly thereafter another patient related that her utopian tubes were blocked.

[DukePA]

Then there's the patient who told me she couldn't be pregnant because she had a previous tubal litigation.

Shortly thereafter another patient related that her utopian tubes were blocked.

[CathyCA]

I've got a bunch of medical malapropos. Like this one:

Heard from a patient: “I don’t want to be incubated again”

Some of my favorites are, "roaches of the liver," and, "sick as hell anemia."

How about that woman who had "fireballs in her uterus?"

Or the patient who had fever, a severe headache and back pain who told his family he had the "Smiling Mighty Jesus."

Let's see what the Rev. lawgrad thinks of those.

I had to say it out loud a few times to get it, but this one has totally changed the name of the disease for me!

[CathyCA]

This thread reminds me of the post I made in the LTE a few years ago:

Re: LTE 2.0
Postby CathyCA » November 6th, 2013, 6:02 pm

I have one client who suffers from schizophrenia, paranoia and dementia. He was on a roll recently and kept calling me to rant and rave about everything. He told me, "The doctor says I have Demetrious, but I know exactly what is going on. I don't have any Demetrious."

Then on Sunday, I saw one of my clients at church. She was telling me about her brother-in-law who suffers from "dimension."

(I think she has a touch of Demetrious, too.)

[lawgrad91]

Today's courtroom tip: if you are charged with stealing a Monster energy drink you probably shouldn't bring a Monster energy drink with you to court.

[devildeac]

This thread reminds me of the post I made in the LTE a few years ago:

Re: LTE 2.0
Postby CathyCA » November 6th, 2013, 6:02 pm

I have one client who suffers from schizophrenia, paranoia and dementia. He was on a roll recently and kept calling me to rant and rave about everything. He told me, "The doctor says I have Demetrious, but I know exactly what is going on. I don't have any Demetrious."

Then on Sunday, I saw one of my clients at church. She was telling me about her brother-in-law who suffers from "dimension."

(I think she has a touch of Demetrious, too.)

An elderly male patient told me several years ago about his prostrate cancer.

[lawgrad91]

My sister in law is an RN who assesses dementia patients (dimension patients? demetrious patients?) for nursing homes in Tacoma and Seattle.

She met an elderly retired judge, and asked him one of the standard questions, "Tell me a sentence." Typically the sentence is something like, "my grandson came to visit."

The man looked at her, rose to his full height and said, "Five years in the penitentiary. That will be the judgement of the Court."

He passed.

[CathyCA]

This letter arrived on my desk today:

I believe I am being stalked and electronically harassed. I believe microwave radar technology or some type of radio frequency technology is being used to harass me. I have been unable to determine who may be following me and enlisting others to help.

I was staying at the ___ Hotel in Greenville between [dates in 2016]. On [date], I woke up with tremendous knee pain as well as right shoulder and arm pain. The pain continued throughout the day and at 4:05 pm I noticed a bruise on my right leg. The next morning, I awoke at 3:00 a.m. For the next two hours I noticed no matter which side of the bed I rolled to, someone from room 223 would sound like they were moving something to the same side I was on. This continued until 5:00 am. I fell asleep and when I awoke again I noticed the bones at my wrists had been enlarged. Then after I finished exercising that morning, I noticed my knee bones were protruding. I would like to find out who was staying in room 223 at the _____ Hotel on [dates in 2016]. I would also like to find out if there is some electronic or electromagnet device or technique that could cause such physical damage to a body's bones and do it so quickly.

Any assistance you could provide to help me find out who may be stalking and harassing me would be most appreciated. If you can help, please let me know and let me know what it would cost to obtain this information. If not, could you recommend someone who can help me or a course or action for me to pursue? I ask that any communication be done through the mail as I am convinced my house is bugged as well as my phone.

Sincerely,

[name and address of real person residing in North Carolina]

The title of this thread speaks for itself.

[DukePA]

This letter arrived on my desk today:

I believe I am being stalked and electronically harassed. I believe microwave radar technology or some type of radio frequency technology is being used to harass me. I have been unable to determine who may be following me and enlisting others to help.

I was staying at the ___ Hotel in Greenville between [dates in 2016]. On [date], I woke up with tremendous knee pain as well as right shoulder and arm pain. The pain continued throughout the day and at 4:05 pm I noticed a bruise on my right leg. The next morning, I awoke at 3:00 a.m. For the next two hours I noticed no matter which side of the bed I rolled to, someone from room 223 would sound like they were moving something to the same side I was on. This continued until 5:00 am. I fell asleep and when I awoke again I noticed the bones at my wrists had been enlarged. Then after I finished exercising that morning, I noticed my knee bones were protruding. I would like to find out who was staying in room 223 at the _____ Hotel on [dates in 2016]. I would also like to find out if there is some electronic or electromagnet device or technique that could cause such physical damage to a body's bones and do it so quickly.

Any assistance you could provide to help me find out who may be stalking and harassing me would be most appreciated. If you can help, please let me know and let me know what it would cost to obtain this information. If not, could you recommend someone who can help me or a course or action for me to pursue? I ask that any communication be done through the mail as I am convinced my house is bugged as well as my phone.

Sincerely,

[name and address of real person residing in North Carolina]

The title of this thread speaks for itself.

Oh my. This person needs to see me. Seriously, if appropriate, please suggest Port Human Services in Greenville.

[CathyCA]

This letter arrived on my desk today:

I believe I am being stalked and electronically harassed. I believe microwave radar technology or some type of radio frequency technology is being used to harass me. I have been unable to determine who may be following me and enlisting others to help.

I was staying at the ___ Hotel in Greenville between [dates in 2016]. On [date], I woke up with tremendous knee pain as well as right shoulder and arm pain. The pain continued throughout the day and at 4:05 pm I noticed a bruise on my right leg. The next morning, I awoke at 3:00 a.m. For the next two hours I noticed no matter which side of the bed I rolled to, someone from room 223 would sound like they were moving something to the same side I was on. This continued until 5:00 am. I fell asleep and when I awoke again I noticed the bones at my wrists had been enlarged. Then after I finished exercising that morning, I noticed my knee bones were protruding. I would like to find out who was staying in room 223 at the _____ Hotel on [dates in 2016]. I would also like to find out if there is some electronic or electromagnet device or technique that could cause such physical damage to a body's bones and do it so quickly.

Any assistance you could provide to help me find out who may be stalking and harassing me would be most appreciated. If you can help, please let me know and let me know what it would cost to obtain this information. If not, could you recommend someone who can help me or a course or action for me to pursue? I ask that any communication be done through the mail as I am convinced my house is bugged as well as my phone.

Sincerely,

[name and address of real person residing in North Carolina]

The title of this thread speaks for itself.

Oh my. This person needs to see me. Seriously, if appropriate, please suggest Port Human Services in Greenville.

She lives in a different part of the state, so suggesting Port Human Services to her would simply be inviting her and her problems back to Greenville.

We will make the geographically appropriate mental health recommendation/suggestion.

[lawgrad91]

This letter arrived on my desk today:

I believe I am being stalked and electronically harassed. I believe microwave radar technology or some type of radio frequency technology is being used to harass me. I have been unable to determine who may be following me and enlisting others to help.

I was staying at the ___ Hotel in Greenville between [dates in 2016]. On [date], I woke up with tremendous knee pain as well as right shoulder and arm pain. The pain continued throughout the day and at 4:05 pm I noticed a bruise on my right leg. The next morning, I awoke at 3:00 a.m. For the next two hours I noticed no matter which side of the bed I rolled to, someone from room 223 would sound like they were moving something to the same side I was on. This continued until 5:00 am. I fell asleep and when I awoke again I noticed the bones at my wrists had been enlarged. Then after I finished exercising that morning, I noticed my knee bones were protruding. I would like to find out who was staying in room 223 at the _____ Hotel on [dates in 2016]. I would also like to find out if there is some electronic or electromagnet device or technique that could cause such physical damage to a body's bones and do it so quickly.

Any assistance you could provide to help me find out who may be stalking and harassing me would be most appreciated. If you can help, please let me know and let me know what it would cost to obtain this information. If not, could you recommend someone who can help me or a course or action for me to pursue? I ask that any communication be done through the mail as I am convinced my house is bugged as well as my phone.

Sincerely,

[name and address of real person residing in North Carolina]

The title of this thread speaks for itself.

Oh, my Lord. Bless his/her heart.