Jokes

[DukieInKansas]

quote="devildeac" Q: What do you have when you have a lawyer up to their ears in concrete?

A: Not enough concrete. /quote

Hey, that's assault .

And battery.

It looks more like a stick than a bat to me. Wouldn't that make it stickery?

[devildeac]

Hey, that's assault .

And battery.

Glad Coach Cut sent me a FB helmet to wear with my #1 jersey in my pre-season ticket package.

Ow!

[Very Duke Blue]

Just caught up on the jokes. Made me LMOF.

[Very Duke Blue]

Just caught up on the jokes. Made me LMOF.

[devildeac]

Just caught up on the jokes. Made me LMOF.

LMOF?

[devildeac]

Just caught up on the jokes. Made me LMOF.

LMOF?
Twice?

[Very Duke Blue]

Just caught up on the jokes. Made me LMOF.

LMOF?
Twice?

Oh, hum, my bad typing again. LMAF. 2 post. I have no idea why it happened. What can I say?

[devildeac]

Just caught up on the jokes. Made me LMOF.

LMOF?
Twice?

Oh, hum, my bad typing again. LMAF. 2 post. I have no idea why it happened. What can I say?

LMAF?

Are you sure you have not been visiting the Ymm, Beer thread?

[OZZIE4DUKE]

Just caught up on the jokes. Made me LMOF.

LMOF?
Twice?

Oh, hum, my bad typing again. LMAF. 2 post. I have no idea why it happened. What can I say?

VDB, I believe you are searching for LMAO, which is often preceded by and contracted with ROFL, as in ROFLMAO

[devildeac]

LMOF?
Twice?

Oh, hum, my bad typing again. LMAF. 2 post. I have no idea why it happened. What can I say?

VDB, I believe you are searching for LMAO, which is often preceded by and contracted with ROFL, as in ROFLMAO

Here are a couple from the view more smilies link:

[devildeac]

OK, no more lawyer jokes.

[CathyCA]

OK, no more lawyer jokes.

[devildeac]

OK, no more lawyer jokes.

May I remove my FB helmet now?

[OZZIE4DUKE]

OK, no more lawyer jokes.

May I remove my FB helmet now?

Might want to wait until after lawgrad91 dons her green jacket...

[lawgrad91]

A lawyer and a businessman were deep-sea fishing, and the lawyer had too much to drink (go figure) and fell overboard. Immediately a school of sharks surfaced and circled the lawyer, and the businessman was sure his friend was doomed. Much to his surprise, the sharks swam into a line, and one swam under the lawyer, picking him up and carrying him to the next shark, and so on until the last shark, with a mighty heave, tossed the attorney back onto the boat.

"What the hell?" said the businessman in astonishment. "I thought you were dead!"

Before the attorney could say a word, the boat captain nodded and said, "Yep, professional courtesy."


Since my esteemed colleague has declared a moratorium on lawyer jokes, I will show professional courtesy and stay off this thread until I hear something funny that doesn't involve our storied profession.

[knights68]

A guy came home to his wife and said to her, "Guess what? I've found a great job. A 10 AM start, 2 PM finish, no overtime, no weekends and it pays $600 a week!"

"That's great," his wife said.

"Yeah, I thought so too," he agreed. "You start Monday."

One additional note: No concussion was found from the MRI and he should be out of the hospital by end of the week.

[CameronBornAndBred]

"Yeah, I thought so too," he agreed. "You start Monday."

[devildeac]

A lawyer and a businessman were deep-sea fishing, and the lawyer had too much to drink (go figure) and fell overboard. Immediately a school of sharks surfaced and circled the lawyer, and the businessman was sure his friend was doomed. Much to his surprise, the sharks swam into a line, and one swam under the lawyer, picking him up and carrying him to the next shark, and so on until the last shark, with a mighty heave, tossed the attorney back onto the boat.

"What the hell?" said the businessman in astonishment. "I thought you were dead!"

Before the attorney could say a word, the boat captain nodded and said, "Yep, professional courtesy."


Since my esteemed colleague has declared a moratorium on lawyer jokes, I will show professional courtesy and stay off this thread until I hear something funny that doesn't involve our storied profession.

I heard a similar joke involving a minister, a doctor and a lawyer in a boat that was sinking and it was surrounded by sharks. But I promised no more lawyer jokes. Yours reminded me of that. But I won't tell it here. ;)

[devildeac]

A guy came home to his wife and said to her, "Guess what? I've found a great job. A 10 AM start, 2 PM finish, no overtime, no weekends and it pays $600 a week!"

"That's great," his wife said.

"Yeah, I thought so too," he agreed. "You start Monday."

One additional note: No concussion was found from the MRI and he should be out of the hospital by end of the week.

LMAF.

Or whatever VDB posted over the weekend.

[CathyCA]

A lawyer and a businessman were deep-sea fishing, and the lawyer had too much to drink (go figure) and fell overboard. Immediately a school of sharks surfaced and circled the lawyer, and the businessman was sure his friend was doomed. Much to his surprise, the sharks swam into a line, and one swam under the lawyer, picking him up and carrying him to the next shark, and so on until the last shark, with a mighty heave, tossed the attorney back onto the boat.

"What the hell?" said the businessman in astonishment. "I thought you were dead!"

Before the attorney could say a word, the boat captain nodded and said, "Yep, professional courtesy."


Since my esteemed colleague has declared a moratorium on lawyer jokes, I will show professional courtesy and stay off this thread until I hear something funny that doesn't involve our storied profession.

Okay. This is my favorite lawyer joke. My Civil Procedure professor (a Duke grad!) told this joke just before he handed out our first semester Civil Procedure exams. I booked the class that semester. I credit this joke for giving me the inspiration.

When I left San Jose to return to my life in North Carolina, I made ceramic sharks to give to the members of my PTA board. I told them that some of them may have thought that I was a shark, and that they would be right in that assessment of me.