hoping for catharsis

[shereec]

Forgive me for dumping - I'm hoping this is a cathartic exercise.

I met my very best friend over 30 years ago. We both worked crappy, low-paying jobs at at bank. We became roommates and helped each other through boyfriends, bad marriages, other bad jobs and second jobs (waitresses), dreams (finishing college for me, living at the beach for her), and finally into Good marriages and happily ever after. We were BFFs and for us that was Best Fucking Friends - don't ANYbody try to come between. and here's how strong that was - she's die-hard Carolina and I'm die-hard Duke. We figured out how to make it work. (When my Dad died she went out and bought a Duke blue dress to wear to the funeral.) She is the sister I chose. (That's no reflection on my biological sister - she and I are very, very close, and she loves Diane almost as much as I do)

While she was living in Myrtle Beach Diane met the man of her dreams and he promised her paradise so they moved to Jekyll Island, Ga (Beautiful place). She opened a restaurant, had a beautiful little girl and life was pretty good.

3 1/2 years ago she had a cerebral aneurism. Tiny Brunswick hospital wasn't really equipped to deal with it, but they did surgery to try and repair her brain. I don't even want to get started (again) on what I think about the doctor who did the surgery. Long story short, she was in surgery for 14 hours (a miracle that she survived it) and eventually transferred to Emory hospital in Atlanta (don't get me started on them either - bed sores). Rehab for a while then transferred to Wake County hospital (where the bed sores got worse) so that she was closer to family (4 brothers and tons of aunts, uncles, etc.) who could help make sure she had visitors all the time. Finally she spent about 8 months in a rehab facility in Zebulon (lovely, caring, wonderful people. they fixed the bed sores!). She make baby-step improvements and was finally able to go back to Brunswick and eventually live at home again. Here's the BFF thing again - while she was in Atlanta and then in North Carolina, I was able to (thanks to being laid off for a year) spend a lot of time with her and I spent money (!) to buy her Carolina clothes. She actually laughed out loud when I complained about spending good money on them.

She made more progress than any of the doctors along the way expected her to - she was certainly disabled in a big way, but it was clear that this girl was fighting to get back. When she first came out of coma she seemed quite vegetative to me (I don't even know if that's a word...) but she did progress to the point where it was clear that she not only followed the conversation but also responded appropriately. When I saw her at Christmas she was feeding herself and asking to be helped out the wheelchair so she could practice taking a few steps holding on to someone.

This afternoon her brother called to tell me that she passed away suddenly. I don't know any details yet, so I guess it could have been a stroke or any number of weak systems. But my heart is breaking. Frankly I'm bouncing between desparately sad and relieved that she's not having to fight any more. I have a very clear picture in my mind of her dancing around on a cloud, happy to be in control of her limbs again. And saying whatever the hell she means to say! I know the extra years were a gift and this is the news I tried to steel myself for 3 1/2 years ago, but dammit, as time went on and she improved I BELIEVED she could get back to a point that SHE would find acceptable, no matter how long it would take.

I want Duke to win on Saturday, but there's a good chance that I'll be in Georgia wearing Carolina blue. Y'all forgive me, please.

[CameronBornAndBred]

Very sorry for your loss shereec. She sounds like she fought very well and had a great friend to help her when she needed it.

[Devil in the Blue Dress]

My heart goes out to you. What you're involved in Saturday is more important than any ball game.

[OZZIE4DUKE]

Condolences and vibes, Sheree, for you and her family. And you don't need any forgiveness, just love. And that's what you'll find here, in abundance.

[Bostondevil]

Everybody should have a friend like you. My condolences.

[ArkieDukie]

Shereec, I am so sorry for your loss. Never apologize for unloading - that's what we're here for! Strongest of vibes to you and to your friend's family.

[DukeUsul]

Wow shereec, you're making me cry. I'm very sorry for your loss. Be with your friend's family this weekend. Wear carolina blue to make her happy.

[windsor]

I am so sorry for your loss...she sounds like an amazing woman.

Hugs and vibes to you and all who loved her.

[CathyCA]

Sheree, we should all be as fortunate and blessed as you were to have a friend like Diane.

I'm so sorry for your loss, and I can only imagine how much it hurts to lose her. You'll be in my thoughts and prayers in the days and weeks ahead. ((((HUGS))))

[cl15876]

Shereec, I am soo sorry to hear about your loss and what a beautiful tribute to your BFF!!! I am sure she is in a much better place and very thankful and proud to have had you as her BFF also! I'll be keeping you and her family in my thoughts and prayers!!!! Thanks for sharing and don't ever feel shy! Travel safe!!!

[Ima Facultiwyfe]

Tenderly, may time heal your sorrow.
Gently, may friends ease your pain.
Softly, may peace replace heartache.
And may warmest memories remain.

Love, Ima

[shereec]

Thank you all so much. It did help to get it out, and your warm words help maybe more than you know. I'm sending hugs back to all of you.

[TillyGalore]

shereec, my heart is breaking for you. You, Diane, and your families are in my thoughts and prayers. Hope you have a safe trip to Georgia.

[knights68]

Forgive me for dumping - I'm hoping this is a cathartic exercise.

I want Duke to win on Saturday, but there's a good chance that I'll be in Georgia wearing Carolina blue. Y'all forgive me, please.

Oh deary, what a story, My heart goes out to ya. As for "forgiveness", just remember: its only half as important what you wear on the outside as what you wear on the inside.
You, our friend, wear the deepest and 'Dukest' blue in your heart and we all know it.
We'll keep you in our thoughts and prayers, you go and take care of your 'bidness' in Georgia, do what you must, and we're all be rooting for you already! Carolina blue or not!

[DukieInKansas]

Shereec,

I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. Diane was lucky to have you as a BFF, just like you were lucky to have her. Friendships like your's are very rare. I will hold you and all her family and friends in my prayers.

Wear your pale blue with honor on Saturday. May the sharing of memories among family and friends help comfort you.

With sympathy,

DukieInKansas

PS - It's ok for you to wear pale blue for Diane on Saturday since her tar heels, in those new uniforms, will be wearing the proper dark blue for you.

[DukePA]

Thank you for sharing this with us. I am so touched by your story. No forgiveness required. Know that I will applaud you as you wear light blue for your dear friend on Saturday. Please know that you will be surrounded by our vibes, love and admiration as you go through this difficult and heartbreaking journey. May we all have BFFs as wonderful as you and Diane.


Donna

[Very Duke Blue]

prayers for you and her family.

[shereec]

We learned yesterday that Frank has decided to have a memorial tonight in Georgia for Diane and then bring her home to North Carolina. There will be another service on Sunday in Middlesex and Diane will be buried next to her Mother. I am relieved to not have to travel, but will still spend much of the weekend with the family in Middlesex. Again, I want to thank you all for your sympathy and support. You have helped me cry and laugh (the heels in their dark blue!). Diane would definitely have appreciated your thoughts - she loved the rivalry. Shoot, she loved any rivalry. Her husband is a South Carolina grad and they used to have grand "discussions" about which one was the REAL Carolina. She'd always bring those discussions to a screeching halt by declaring "we kicked you out of the ACC" and then grin while he sputtered and stomped out of the room. Thanks, again, y'all.

[OZZIE4DUKE]

Thanks, again, y'all.

You're welcome.

[DukieInKansas]

We learned yesterday that Frank has decided to have a memorial tonight in Georgia for Diane and then bring her home to North Carolina. There will be another service on Sunday in Middlesex and Diane will be buried next to her Mother. I am relieved to not have to travel, but will still spend much of the weekend with the family in Middlesex. Again, I want to thank you all for your sympathy and support. You have helped me cry and laugh (the heels in their dark blue!). Diane would definitely have appreciated your thoughts - she loved the rivalry. Shoot, she loved any rivalry. Her husband is a South Carolina grad and they used to have grand "discussions" about which one was the REAL Carolina. She'd always bring those discussions to a screeching halt by declaring "we kicked you out of the ACC" and then grin while he sputtered and stomped out of the room. Thanks, again, y'all.

Great line by Diane - I can't believe he would bring it up again after she used that line! He must be a good man.