You can't make this stuff up!

[OPK]

If someone in your county calls 911 to report that they need a skunk removed from Mama's open grave before the funeral, you might live in Redneck County....

If that ain’t an omen, I am not sure what is.

[lawgrad91]

Got a guy charged with stealing his baby mama's mother's ashes from her motel room.

[ArkieDukie]

Got a guy charged with stealing his baby mama's mother's ashes from her motel room.

Whoa. That’s bizarre.

[lawgrad91]

Tattoos should be spell-checked PRIOR to their application. Coworker Awbrey just showed me pictures of a victim who has the, um, "word" "Royaty" tattooed across her chest.

[CameronBornAndBred]

Tattoos should be spell-checked PRIOR to their application. Coworker Awbrey just showed me pictures of a victim who has the, um, "word" "Royaty" tattooed across her chest.

How qeen.

[lawgrad91]

Virginia is a Commonwealth, not a state. This is meaningless except to graduates of Virginia COMMONWEALTH University, and I suppose a few stuffed shirts in Richmond.

Saying that, I am continually amazed by the annoyances that inmates and their families blame on being in a Commonwealth.

My bank robber who is set for court on Monday just told his mama they don't get to watch the NFL in his pod. Mama's response? "Well, Virginia is a Commonwealth."

[lawgrad91]

Not to be outdone with their previous call...

Bank robber's daddy passed away this past Monday. (I'm genuinely sorry about this; I liked the man, even if his sons were of less than sterling character. May he RIP.)

Bank robber was on the phone last night with his mama. (The parents are divorced; mama has a new husband.) Mama is talking about Daddy's remains. She says, "you should put him in a place where he was the happiest. I think it would be the FLEA MARKET.

And yes, she was quite serious. And no, they are not from Varnish County. They are from somewhere in New York.

[OZZIE4DUKE]

Not to be outdone with their previous call...

Bank robber's daddy passed away this past Monday. (I'm genuinely sorry about this; I liked the man, even if his sons were of less than sterling character. May he RIP.)

Bank robber was on the phone last night with his mama. (The parents are divorced; mama has a new husband.) Mama is talking about Daddy's remains. She says, "you should put him in a place where he was the happiest. I think it would be the FLEA MARKET.

And yes, she was quite serious. And no, they are not from Varnish County. They are from somewhere in New York.

[lawgrad91]

Got a guy charged with stealing his baby mama's mother's ashes from her motel room.

This case is set on my docket tomorrow afternoon. (Of course it would fall on my docket.)

[lawgrad91]

I have a defendant on the traffic docket whose first name is “Espin.”

[CathyCA]

I have a defendant on the traffic docket whose first name is “Espin.”

His parents were sports junkies?

[lawgrad91]

I have a defendant on the traffic docket whose first name is “Espin.”

His parents were sports junkies?

That's my guess!

[lawgrad91]

Deputies received a call yesterday regarding an assault, and when they met with the two assaulted individuals, they said they had been attacked by Santa and the Grinch.

BTW, the neighbors were literally dressed as Santa and the Grinch.

Alcohol was involved all around, and no one ended up getting arrested. Whew.

[CathyCA]

Deputies received a call yesterday regarding an assault, and when they met with the two assaulted individuals, they said they had been attacked by Santa and the Grinch.

BTW, the neighbors were literally dressed as Santa and the Grinch.

Alcohol was involved all around, and no one ended up getting arrested. Whew.

[lawgrad91]

Deputies received a call yesterday regarding an assault, and when they met with the two assaulted individuals, they said they had been attacked by Santa and the Grinch.

BTW, the neighbors were literally dressed as Santa and the Grinch.

Alcohol was involved all around, and no one ended up getting arrested. Whew.

Update: all parties went to the magistrate's office and took out private warrants on each other. Santa, the Grinch, and the two assaulted individuals.

We are going to drop all charges. Perhaps we should set them all up in a rasslin' ring on a Saturday night at Bassett High School, and make some money.

[OPK]

Deputies received a call yesterday regarding an assault, and when they met with the two assaulted individuals, they said they had been attacked by Santa and the Grinch.

BTW, the neighbors were literally dressed as Santa and the Grinch.

Alcohol was involved all around, and no one ended up getting arrested. Whew.

Update: all parties went to the magistrate's office and took out private warrants on each other. Santa, the Grinch, and the two assaulted individuals.

We are going to drop all charges. Perhaps we should set them all up in a rasslin' ring on a Saturday night at Bassett High School, and make some money.

Put them all on the naughty list and send them to bed without supper.

[lawgrad91]

Too long between posts….

Tonight the 911 center got a call from the Patrick County Sheriff’s Office. Apparently a UPS driver stopped at an address in Henry County, and a chicken jumped in the truck while he was stopped.

Henny Penny rode all the way to Patrick County and jumped out at the sheriff’s office, where deputies are chasing her in the parking lot with an eye to returning her to her home. Patrick Co wanted Henry Co to know in case there was a call regarding a chicken thief.

[CameronBornAndBred]

Too long between posts….

Tonight the 911 center got a call from the Patrick County Sheriff’s Office. Apparently a UPS driver stopped at an address in Henry County, and a chicken jumped in the truck while he was stopped.

Henny Penny rode all the way to Patrick County and jumped out at the sheriff’s office, where deputies are chasing her in the parking lot with an eye to returning her to her home. Patrick Co wanted Henry Co to know in case there was a call regarding a chicken thief.

[Phredd3]

Too long between posts….

Tonight the 911 center got a call from the Patrick County Sheriff’s Office. Apparently a UPS driver stopped at an address in Henry County, and a chicken jumped in the truck while he was stopped.

Henny Penny rode all the way to Patrick County and jumped out at the sheriff’s office, where deputies are chasing her in the parking lot with an eye to returning her to her home. Patrick Co wanted Henry Co to know in case there was a call regarding a chicken thief.

The case of the perfect emoticon has been solved!

[lawgrad91]

Too long between posts….

Tonight the 911 center got a call from the Patrick County Sheriff’s Office. Apparently a UPS driver stopped at an address in Henry County, and a chicken jumped in the truck while he was stopped.

Henny Penny rode all the way to Patrick County and jumped out at the sheriff’s office, where deputies are chasing her in the parking lot with an eye to returning her to her home. Patrick Co wanted Henry Co to know in case there was a call regarding a chicken thief.

The case of the perfect emoticon has been solved!

I have never seen a more apt emoticon. Besides 9F, anyway….