You can't make this stuff up!

[CathyCA]

Karma visited the courthouse yesterday.

Picture this: in the late 1990’s, a second-grader is in the school computer lab, working on a project for her class. She is a little slow to finish this particular project, and the fourth-graders come in before she is quite done. One fourth-grader begins kicking her seat, and it upsets her so she doesn’t finish and begins to cry. The fourth-grader laughs and walks off.

December 11, 2017: the aforementioned fourth-grader goes to jail for Christmas thanks to the acts of the previously mentioned second grader, who is now a Virginia State Trooper and stopped him for going over 80 and having his license revoked.

It was a beautiful thing....

I've heard about Karma. She is a bitc. . .

[CathyCA]

I'm in a listserv for real property attorneys. One of the members of the listserv is asking about the validity of signatures with a "stylist pen."

Of course, she intended to ask about a "stylus pen" but she used the term "stylist pen" three times in her 4-sentence email. She also referred to the person who is doing the signing as a "signor" rather than as a "signer."

She didn't go to Duke.

[ArkieDukie]

Karma visited the courthouse yesterday.

Picture this: in the late 1990’s, a second-grader is in the school computer lab, working on a project for her class. She is a little slow to finish this particular project, and the fourth-graders come in before she is quite done. One fourth-grader begins kicking her seat, and it upsets her so she doesn’t finish and begins to cry. The fourth-grader laughs and walks off.

December 11, 2017: the aforementioned fourth-grader goes to jail for Christmas thanks to the acts of the previously mentioned second grader, who is now a Virginia State Trooper and stopped him for going over 80 and having his license revoked.

It was a beautiful thing....

I've heard about Karma. She is a bitc. . .

Karma is my friend. I believe she also goes by the name Wofford.

[YmoBeThere]

Dang, karma also has a very long arm when she is smacking you upside the head...

[lawgrad91]

If you are ever a victim, please don't wear a shirt to court that reads: "BREAKING NEWS: I DON'T CARE"

[YmoBeThere]

If you are ever a victim, please don't wear a shirt to court that reads: "BREAKING NEWS: I DON'T CARE"

What if I wear a sweater over the top of it?

[lawgrad91]

If a hot dog stand caters your wedding, you might be a redneck. Or a resident of the Varnish Zone....

[devildeac]

If a hot dog stand caters your wedding, you might be a redneck. Or a resident of the Varnish Zone....

You might be a redneck if...


...any of your furniture has bullet holes.

Oops, sorry, wrong thread.

[OZZIE4DUKE]

If a hot dog stand caters your wedding, you might be a redneck. Or a resident of the Varnish Zone....

Were the dogs at least Costco’s?

[lawgrad91]

If a hot dog stand caters your wedding, you might be a redneck. Or a resident of the Varnish Zone....

Were the dogs at least Costco’s?

No.
Redpole? Red something....

[lawgrad91]

Free legal advice:
If you are going to break into the dump, it isn’t enough to cover your face from the surveillance camera; you should also wear long pants so as to cover the dice tattoo on your calf.

[CathyCA]

Free legal advice:
If you are going to break into the dump, it isn’t enough to cover your face from the surveillance camera; you should also wear long pants so as to cover the dice tattoo on your calf.

I think this Defendant needs to aspire higher when choosing venues for breaking and entering. What did he think he was going to find at a dump besides trash?

[lawgrad91]

Free legal advice:
If you are going to break into the dump, it isn’t enough to cover your face from the surveillance camera; you should also wear long pants so as to cover the dice tattoo on your calf.

I think this Defendant needs to aspire higher when choosing venues for breaking and entering. What did he think he was going to find at a dump besides trash?

Scrap metal. He also stole some old TV’s, and the county wanted to charge him for that, until they realized it cost them more to dispose of the TVs than they were worth and he was doing them a favor.

[lawgrad91]

From the “Proofread, don’t spell check” section of the page....

Jethro sent an email to the local head of the State Police and to the muckety-mucks of the Sheriff’s Office. His concern was the lab turnaround time. I must say that until today I was unaware that our office staff “checks the status of drug analysis certificates prior to pre-trail.”

Pre-trail? Is that when Windsor sends out Tyler early to learn the locale before he does his thing?

[lawgrad91]

A person who wants a bond shouldn't tell his mother to call the preacher and ask him to testify at a bond hearing that he has a calling and "a missionary position."

[CathyCA]

A person who wants a bond shouldn't tell his mother to call the preacher and ask him to testify at a bond hearing that he has a calling and "a missionary position."

[CathyCA]

Transcript of a voice message on my office telephone this Monday morning:

"Cathy, uh, hi. This is __________________, and it's 2:34 p.m. on Saturday, February 17. I'm waiting outside your office, but there's no one here. I'm glad you're taking some time off this weekend. I stopped by to ask you what I should do about [someone else's] mail I have. Also, I want you to tell me what [this legal proceeding that I've already hired you to do, and about which you've already given me an explanatory brochure and spent extensive time on the telephone explaining to me] entails."

I'm going to send her a detailed bill. That ought to clear things up.

[ArkieDukie]

Transcript of a voice message on my office telephone this Monday morning:

"Cathy, uh, hi. This is __________________, and it's 2:34 p.m. on Saturday, February 17. I'm waiting outside your office, but there's no one here. I'm glad you're taking some time off this weekend. I stopped by to ask you what I should do about [someone else's] mail I have. Also, I want you to tell me what [this legal proceeding that I've already hired you to do, and about which you've already given me an explanatory brochure and spent extensive time on the telephone explaining to me] entails."

I'm going to send her a detailed bill. That ought to clear things up.

Oh my.

[lawgrad91]

If a police officer tells a person, “I’m here investigating the theft of a bottle of vodka and some whiskey,” and the person’s response is, “I stole the Skyy vodka but didn’t take the Fireball airplane bottles,” a life of crime is probably not for them.

[Very Duke Blue]

I just caught up reading the last week or so post. Lots of laughs.