You can't make this stuff up!

[lawgrad91]

2. Pregnant coworker J had a piece of aluminum foil across her belly in an effort to make sure the baby wasn't affected by the eclipse.

That's science for ya!

Did she repurpose her tin foil hat?

I hope she kept the shiny side out, to reflect the rays.

[lawgrad91]

A PSA: If you are lonely and drunk and want to sing to someone, try to find another number to call besides 911....

[DukieInKansas]

A PSA: If you are lonely and drunk and want to sing to someone, try to find another number to call besides 911....

But the need to singa song to get the earworm out of your head is an emergency.

[Very Duke Blue]

A PSA: If you are lonely and drunk and want to sing to someone, try to find another number to call besides 911....

But the need to singa song to get the earworm out of your head is an emergency.

[Very Duke Blue]

I just caught up on this thread. I'm still laughing.

[lawgrad91]

A PSA: If you are lonely and drunk and want to sing to someone, try to find another number to call besides 911....

But the need to singa song to get the earworm out of your head is an emergency.

Probably shouldn't offer the dispatcher to come over and drink your liquor while she is on duty, too.

[lawgrad91]

From the "honesty is the best policy" portion of the courthouse....

Judge: Does your client have any explanation for failing to appear?

Defense attorney: Not a good one!

[lawgrad91]

And another listing in the "don't rely on spell check" thread....

"Pumpkin's THEFT Shop" does not equal "Pumpkin's THRIFT Shop."

[lawgrad91]

From the Martinsville paper....

It’s not hard to fabricate a photograph. Snap a picture of the flooding, find a photo of a shark swimming online, put them together in Photoshop and viola – in just a few moments’ time, there’s a sea creature swimming along the streets of Texas.

They mean "VOILA." A "viola" is a stringed instrument.

[lawgrad91]

If you get drunk during your uncle's funeral and tell the minister to shut up, you might be a redneck. Or you might be from the Ridgeway section of Henry County.

[CathyCA]

If you get drunk during your uncle's funeral and tell the minister to shut up, you might be a redneck. Or you might be from the Ridgeway section of Henry County.

Oh my. . .

Jon had a very sad funeral last week. A 27 year old died of a heroin overdose. The family brought mementoes to the church to place on the altar, including a picture of the young man, his backpack, skateboard, baseball glove, a black lab figurine and a can of Budweiser.

Umm. . . Jon had to veto the Budweiser on the altar of the church. (A bag of heroin might have been a more realistic symbol.)

[lawgrad91]

Two guys in the jail kitchen got in a fight over cheese and one whacked the other over the head with a rolling pin.

[lawgrad91]

Free legal advice:

A person who spends an hour telling a police officer that she is taking her purse to the jail with her, that she is not giving her purse to her mama or her sister, shouldn't suddenly say, "You can't prove that's my purse. It could be anybody's purse" when drugs are found inside said purse.

[CathyCA]

Free legal advice:

A person who spends an hour telling a police officer that she is taking her purse to the jail with her, that she is not giving her purse to her mama or her sister, shouldn't suddenly say, "You can't prove that's my purse. It could be anybody's purse" when drugs are found inside said purse.

[knights68]

I think we need a thread for weirdness, legal and otherwise.

Isn't there something out there already, called the STELLA awards (legal), or was it the DARWIN Awards (stupid people chlorinating the gene pool)?
lol but I am totally in favor of this. Didn't we once have a thread on weird/outdated US state laws? In NC it is forbidden for you to use your elephant to plow the cotton fields.
Bingo games cannot last more than 5 hours, and no alcohol is to be served! lol

The winner of the 2007 True Stella Award: Roy L. Pearson Jr. The 57-year-old Administrative Law Judge from Washington DC claims that a dry cleaner lost a pair of his pants, so he sued the mom-and-pop business for $65,462,500. That's right: more than $65 million for one pair of pants.

Representing himself, Judge Pearson cried in court over the loss of his pants, whining that there certainly isn't a more compelling case in the District archives. But the Superior Court judge wasn't moved: he called the case "vexatious litigation", scolded Judge Pearson for his "bad faith", and awarded damages to the dry cleaners.
But Pearson didn't take no for an answer: he's appealing the decision. And he has plenty of time on his hands, since he was dismissed from his job. Last we heard, Pearson's appeal is still pending.

And for a 2017 Darwin Award...
(17 April 2017, South Carolina) It is tough to live without electricity. Although the Blue Ridge Electric Company says there are options for people who cannot pay their bill, those options were not extended to a family living in the Friendship community near Seneca. After two weeks without hot water or refrigeration, a man attempted to restore power to his home. Illegally.
What happens when a powerless thief grabs a metal ladder and jumper cables?

His bid for grid power veered from pathetic to ludicrous when he leaned an aluminum ladder against the pole, climbed up and applied the jumper clips to an energized conductor. A witness heard a sound like a shotgun as 7,200 volts arced from the primary wires across jumper cables designed for 12 volts, through the man's body, down the ladder, and into the ground.

The thief was jolted from the top of the pole and thrown to the ground. He was taken to hospital with contusions and electrical burns. Still living, he cannot win a Darwin Award yet is eligible for an Honorable Mention for his questionable and nearly fatal choices.

SIDEBAR: Readers say that electric power is usually disconnected at the meter, and only disconnected at the pole if there is a problem with the homeowner such as angry threats or previous power theft.

[lawgrad91]

The Martinsville Bulletin Holiday Desserts contest is sponsored this year by Stateline Heart and Vascular. First prize is a restaurant gift card to Third Bay Cafe, known for thick hamburgers and rich sauces.

DD, do you need any marketing ideas?

[lawgrad91]

In domestic court this afternoon. A lady came in for a review of a case under advisement, where she had been ordered to undergo alcohol abuse counseling, and her counseling compliance was being reviewed.

No one told her that a shirt that read “WHISKEY” across the chest was probably not the best fashion idea.

[devildeac]

The Martinsville Bulletin Holiday Desserts contest is sponsored this year by Stateline Heart and Vascular. First prize is a restaurant gift card to Third Bay Cafe, known for thick hamburgers and rich sauces.

DD, do you need any marketing ideas?

I don't have a license to practice in Virginia but I'd maximize the butter, sugar and cream in all the recipes and serve with some bourbon barrel aged porters or stouts.

[CathyCA]

In domestic court this afternoon. A lady came in for a review of a case under advisement, where she had been ordered to undergo alcohol abuse counseling, and her counseling compliance was being reviewed.

No one told her that a shirt that read “WHISKEY” across the chest was probably not the best fashion idea.

Been there, done that, got the T-shirt!

[lawgrad91]

Karma visited the courthouse yesterday.

Picture this: in the late 1990’s, a second-grader is in the school computer lab, working on a project for her class. She is a little slow to finish this particular project, and the fourth-graders come in before she is quite done. One fourth-grader begins kicking her seat, and it upsets her so she doesn’t finish and begins to cry. The fourth-grader laughs and walks off.

December 11, 2017: the aforementioned fourth-grader goes to jail for Christmas thanks to the acts of the previously mentioned second grader, who is now a Virginia State Trooper and stopped him for going over 80 and having his license revoked.

It was a beautiful thing....