You can't make this stuff up!

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CathyCA
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Re: You can't make this stuff up!

Post by CathyCA » January 31st, 2017, 3:58 pm

Yesterday, I got this telephone call. . .

Caller: I'm seeking information on emancipation. I live with my grandfather who has custody of me and he's sociopathic. I turn 18 years old in 32 days, and I'm seeking emancipation.

Me: Have you spoken with your guidance counselor at school?

Caller: She told me to call an attorney.

Me: Where was your custody case tried?

Caller: Henry County, Virginia.

Me: You need to call DSS.

************
Lawgrad, our worlds collide!

:9f:
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Re: You can't make this stuff up!

Post by OZZIE4DUKE » January 31st, 2017, 5:29 pm

CathyCA wrote:Yesterday, I got this telephone call. . .

Caller: I'm seeking information on emancipation. I live with my grandfather who has custody of me and he's sociopathic. I turn 18 years old in 32 days, and I'm seeking emancipation.

Me: Have you spoken with your guidance counselor at school?

Caller: She told me to call an attorney.

Me: Where was your custody case tried?

Caller: Henry County, Virginia.

Me: You need to call DSS.

************
Lawgrad, our worlds collide!

:9f:
Isn't he or she emancipated in 32 days without a lawyer? :9f:
Your paradigm of optimism

:9f: :9f: Go To Hell carolina! Go To Hell! :9f: :9f:
9F! 9F! 9F! 9F! 9F! 9F! 9F! 9F! 9F!

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lawgrad91
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Re: You can't make this stuff up!

Post by lawgrad91 » January 31st, 2017, 10:58 pm

CathyCA wrote:Yesterday, I got this telephone call. . .

Caller: I'm seeking information on emancipation. I live with my grandfather who has custody of me and he's sociopathic. I turn 18 years old in 32 days, and I'm seeking emancipation.

Me: Have you spoken with your guidance counselor at school?

Caller: She told me to call an attorney.

Me: Where was your custody case tried?

Caller: Henry County, Virginia.

Me: You need to call DSS.

************
Lawgrad, our worlds collide!

:9f:
:-o :-o :-o :-o :9f:
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Re: You can't make this stuff up!

Post by lawgrad91 » January 31st, 2017, 10:59 pm

OZZIE4DUKE wrote:
CathyCA wrote:Yesterday, I got this telephone call. . .

Caller: I'm seeking information on emancipation. I live with my grandfather who has custody of me and he's sociopathic. I turn 18 years old in 32 days, and I'm seeking emancipation.

Me: Have you spoken with your guidance counselor at school?

Caller: She told me to call an attorney.

Me: Where was your custody case tried?

Caller: Henry County, Virginia.

Me: You need to call DSS.

************
Lawgrad, our worlds collide!

:9f:
Isn't he or she emancipated in 32 days without a lawyer? :9f:
Yes. :9f:
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Re: You can't make this stuff up!

Post by shereec » February 1st, 2017, 6:40 am

Yesterday I pointed out an error to a coworker; she had used the word "stylist" in a requirements document when the word she needed was "stylus." My comment was that I didn't want her to use the wrong word in a project document that would go out to a vendor. She replied that she would never do that - she always runs spell check before sending out documents. So then I had to point out that spell check would not have caught that and her response was "it wouldn't?". I guess the kiosk is going to have great hair and makeup... (sigh)
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Re: You can't make this stuff up!

Post by lawgrad91 » February 1st, 2017, 9:17 am

shereec wrote:Yesterday I pointed out an error to a coworker; she had used the word "stylist" in a requirements document when the word she needed was "stylus." My comment was that I didn't want her to use the wrong word in a project document that would go out to a vendor. She replied that she would never do that - she always runs spell check before sending out documents. So then I had to point out that spell check would not have caught that and her response was "it wouldn't?". I guess the kiosk is going to have great hair and makeup... (sigh)
I learned that as an intern in Norfolk. Wrote a brief on a nasty sexual assault case. Secretary typed it. (Man, I wish I had a secretary to type things now, but that's neither here nor there.) She ran spell check. It recognized the word "public" so every time I had writtenPUBIC HAIR she had typed "PUBLIC HAIR

:9f:
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Re: You can't make this stuff up!

Post by CathyCA » February 1st, 2017, 11:29 am

lawgrad91 wrote:
OZZIE4DUKE wrote:
CathyCA wrote:Yesterday, I got this telephone call. . .

Caller: I'm seeking information on emancipation. I live with my grandfather who has custody of me and he's sociopathic. I turn 18 years old in 32 days, and I'm seeking emancipation.

Me: Have you spoken with your guidance counselor at school?

Caller: She told me to call an attorney.

Me: Where was your custody case tried?

Caller: Henry County, Virginia.

Me: You need to call DSS.

************
Lawgrad, our worlds collide!

:9f:
Isn't he or she emancipated in 32 days without a lawyer? :9f:
Yes. :9f:
There is not a family court in this county that would get this child on its calendar within 32 days. DSS is the best route to take because their social workers and attorneys are equipped to get an emergency order and placement if the grandfather is indeed sociopathic.

:9f:
“The invention of basketball was not an accident. It was developed to meet a need. Those boys simply would not play 'Drop the Handkerchief.'”

~ James Naismith
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CathyCA
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Re: You can't make this stuff up!

Post by CathyCA » February 1st, 2017, 11:56 am

lawgrad91 wrote:
shereec wrote:Yesterday I pointed out an error to a coworker; she had used the word "stylist" in a requirements document when the word she needed was "stylus." My comment was that I didn't want her to use the wrong word in a project document that would go out to a vendor. She replied that she would never do that - she always runs spell check before sending out documents. So then I had to point out that spell check would not have caught that and her response was "it wouldn't?". I guess the kiosk is going to have great hair and makeup... (sigh)
I learned that as an intern in Norfolk. Wrote a brief on a nasty sexual assault case. Secretary typed it. (Man, I wish I had a secretary to type things now, but that's neither here nor there.) She ran spell check. It recognized the word "public" so every time I had writtenPUBIC HAIR she had typed "PUBLIC HAIR

:9f:
I once wrote some guidelines for a client on how to obtain copyright and publishing releases for singers and dancers to use on a television broadcast. I wrote about contacting ASCAP, BMI, and SESAC to obtain performance rights. I went on to write that classical music, generally, is in the public domain because whatever copyrights may have existed at the time that the composer was living have expired.

Naturally, I typed in my guidelines the incorrect word. Everyone who read my memo (and it got shared a LOT because of my typo) enjoyed a big laugh because I typed, "Classical music, generally, is in the PUBIC domain."

:9f:
“The invention of basketball was not an accident. It was developed to meet a need. Those boys simply would not play 'Drop the Handkerchief.'”

~ James Naismith
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Re: You can't make this stuff up!

Post by lawgrad91 » February 1st, 2017, 12:31 pm

Our General Distict Court Clerk refused to decorate for Christmas. No snowmen, no Santas, nothing.

Imagine my surprise when I walked in the clerk's office this morning and saw that they had decorated for Valentine's Day.
IMG_3407.JPG
There are actually two pairs of these, one on each Sheriff's Office calendar. And yes, they are in view of the public. :9f:
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Re: You can't make this stuff up!

Post by CathyCA » February 1st, 2017, 3:04 pm

lawgrad91 wrote:Our General Distict Court Clerk refused to decorate for Christmas. No snowmen, no Santas, nothing.

Imagine my surprise when I walked in the clerk's office this morning and saw that they had decorated for Valentine's Day.
IMG_3407.JPG
There are actually two pairs of these, one on each Sheriff's Office calendar. And yes, they are in view of the public. :9f:

There are no words. :twitch:

:9f:
“The invention of basketball was not an accident. It was developed to meet a need. Those boys simply would not play 'Drop the Handkerchief.'”

~ James Naismith
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Re: You can't make this stuff up!

Post by devildeac » February 1st, 2017, 4:27 pm

lawgrad91 wrote:Our General Distict Court Clerk refused to decorate for Christmas. No snowmen, no Santas, nothing.

Imagine my surprise when I walked in the clerk's office this morning and saw that they had decorated for Valentine's Day.
IMG_3407.JPG
There are actually two pairs of these, one on each Sheriff's Office calendar. And yes, they are in view of the public. :9f:

Probably true as they're a bit early for this holiday:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/International_Fetish_Day
[redacted] them and the horses they rode in on.
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Re: You can't make this stuff up!

Post by lawgrad91 » February 7th, 2017, 2:37 pm

I have traffic court on Friday morning. One poor guy is charged with failing to yield RIGHT AWAY.

The caliber of troopers was better when the pay was better. :9f:
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Re: You can't make this stuff up!

Post by CathyCA » February 7th, 2017, 4:09 pm

lawgrad91 wrote:I have traffic court on Friday morning. One poor guy is charged with failing to yield RIGHT AWAY.

The caliber of troopers was better when the pay was better. :9f:
No. The trooper wrote that? :Police:

I would file a motion to dismiss because the citation fails to charge an offense under the Commonwealth's statutory code. That trooper would never make THAT mistake again.

:9f:
“The invention of basketball was not an accident. It was developed to meet a need. Those boys simply would not play 'Drop the Handkerchief.'”

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Re: You can't make this stuff up!

Post by lawgrad91 » February 7th, 2017, 4:37 pm

CathyCA wrote:
lawgrad91 wrote:I have traffic court on Friday morning. One poor guy is charged with failing to yield RIGHT AWAY.

The caliber of troopers was better when the pay was better. :9f:
No. The trooper wrote that? :Police:

I would file a motion to dismiss because the citation fails to charge an offense under the Commonwealth's statutory code. That trooper would never make THAT mistake again.

:9f:
He most certainly did. Actually, he wrote TWO tickets with that language. If we actually had a Trooper Sergeant, I would let him/her know, but at the moment the inmates are running the asylum. Some of the inmates are more than capable of running the asylum, but this one needs a strait jacket. :9f:
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Re: You can't make this stuff up!

Post by lawgrad91 » February 7th, 2017, 8:29 pm

Another masterpiece from the spellcheck geniuses: I have a sentencing tomorrow on a robbery case. Defendant is one of the most dangerous people who has ever come through the courthouse doors. His own lawyer won't sit in the attorney room with him, preferring to talk to him on the visitation phone for safety reasons.

The shrink that talked to him and is now simultaneously crying the blues for him and singing his praises has in her conclusion that (blah blah blah words words) "To complicate matters further, his mother died of her ADDITION."

Math kills! :9f:
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Re: You can't make this stuff up!

Post by DukePA » February 7th, 2017, 9:23 pm

lawgrad91 wrote:Another masterpiece from the spellcheck geniuses: I have a sentencing tomorrow on a robbery case. Defendant is one of the most dangerous people who has ever come through the courthouse doors. His own lawyer won't sit in the attorney room with him, preferring to talk to him on the visitation phone for safety reasons.

The shrink that talked to him and is now simultaneously crying the blues for him and singing his praises has in her conclusion that (blah blah blah words words) "To complicate matters further, his mother died of her ADDITION."

Math kills! :9f:
Whoa! Is she a forensic Psychiatrist? Sounds bamboozled, to me.
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Re: You can't make this stuff up!

Post by lawgrad91 » February 7th, 2017, 9:24 pm

DukePA wrote:
lawgrad91 wrote:Another masterpiece from the spellcheck geniuses: I have a sentencing tomorrow on a robbery case. Defendant is one of the most dangerous people who has ever come through the courthouse doors. His own lawyer won't sit in the attorney room with him, preferring to talk to him on the visitation phone for safety reasons.

The shrink that talked to him and is now simultaneously crying the blues for him and singing his praises has in her conclusion that (blah blah blah words words) "To complicate matters further, his mother died of her ADDITION."

Math kills! :9f:
Whoa! Is she a forensic Psychiatrist? Sounds bamboozled, to me.
Funny you should ask. I can't find her CV anywhere online. :9f:
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CathyCA
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Re: You can't make this stuff up!

Post by CathyCA » February 8th, 2017, 9:11 am

lawgrad91 wrote:
CathyCA wrote:
lawgrad91 wrote:I have traffic court on Friday morning. One poor guy is charged with failing to yield RIGHT AWAY.

The caliber of troopers was better when the pay was better. :9f:
No. The trooper wrote that? :Police:

I would file a motion to dismiss because the citation fails to charge an offense under the Commonwealth's statutory code. That trooper would never make THAT mistake again.

:9f:
He most certainly did. Actually, he wrote TWO tickets with that language. If we actually had a Trooper Sergeant, I would let him/her know, but at the moment the inmates are running the asylum. Some of the inmates are more than capable of running the asylum, but this one needs a strait jacket. :9f:
Having written what I did above, I realize that you as the prosecutor have the right to amend the charge sheet right up until the point of arraignment. (That's the rule in North Carolina.)

:9f:
“The invention of basketball was not an accident. It was developed to meet a need. Those boys simply would not play 'Drop the Handkerchief.'”

~ James Naismith
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Re: You can't make this stuff up!

Post by lawgrad91 » February 8th, 2017, 9:38 am

CathyCA wrote:
Having written what I did above, I realize that you as the prosecutor have the right to amend the charge sheet right up until the point of arraignment. (That's the rule in North Carolina.)

:9f:
In Virginia, I have the right to amend the charge up until the judge rules on guilt, and the only remedy for the defense should I do so is a continuance.

These defendants don't have lawyers and could prepay the tickets so I won't do anything with the face of the paperwork. If the defendants come in and argue the point, I will let the trooper lose and learn his lesson. Otherwise, I will tell him after court.

I saw him this morning, running radar. He is the kind of guy I worry about. My car is pretty recognizable and I don't go too far over the speed limit, so with most of the troopers I feel fairly safe. Him, not so much. :9f:
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Re: You can't make this stuff up!

Post by lawgrad91 » February 8th, 2017, 3:05 pm

For the love of all that is holy, DO NOT CONFESS TO A FELONY IN CIRCUIT COURT ON THE RECORD.

Defendant just told the Court: "I don't use illegal drugs, just when I'm in pain and out of pills I take my mama's." :9f:
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