OZZIE4DUKE wrote:Funny Football Quotes
"Gentlemen, it is better to have died a small boy than to fumble the football" - John Heisman
"I make my practices real hard because if a player is a quitter, I want him to quit in practice, not in a game." - Bear Bryant / Alabama
"It isn't necessary to see a good tackle, you can hear it!" - Knute Rockne/ Notre Dame
"At Georgia Southern, we don't cheat, That costs money, and we don't have any." - Erik Russell / Georgia Southern
"The man who complains about the way the ball bounces is likely to be the one who dropped it." - Lou Holtz / Arkansas - Notre Dame
"When you win, nothing hurts." - Joe Namath / Alabama
"A school without football is in danger of deteriorating into a medieval study hall." - Frank Leahy / Notre Dame
"There's nothing that cleanses your soul like getting the hell kicked out of you." - Woody Hayes / Ohio State
"I don't expect to win enough games to be put on NCAA probation. I just want to win enough to warrant an investigation." - Bob Devaney / Nebraska
"I never graduated from Iowa . But I was only there for two terms - Truman's and Eisenhower's." - Alex Karras / Iowa
My advice to defensive players is to take the shortest route to the ball, and arrive in a bad humor." - Bowden Wyatt / Tennessee
"I could have been a Rhodes Scholar except for my grades." - Duffy Daugherty / Michigan State
"Always remember Goliath was a 40 point favorite over David." - Shug Jordan / Auburn
"I asked Darrell Royal, the coach of the Texas Longhorns, why he didn't recruit me ?" He said, "Well, Walt, we took a look at you, and you weren't any good." - Walt Garrison / Oklahoma State
"Son, you've got a good engine, but your hands aren't on the steering wheel." - Bobby Bowden / Florida State
"Football is NOT a contact sport, it is a collision sport. Dancing IS a contact sport." - Duffy Daugherty / Michigan State
USC lost 51-0 to Notre Dame, his post-game message to his team was, "All those who need showers, take them." - John McKay / USC
"If lessons are learned in defeat, our team is getting a great education." Murray Warmath / Minnesota
"The only qualifications for a lineman are to be big and dumb. To be a back, you only have to be dumb." - Knute Rockne / Notre Dame
"We didn't tackle well today, but we made up for it by not blocking." - John McKay / USC
Ohio State's Urban Meyer on one of his players: "He doesn't know the meaning of the word fear. In fact, I just saw his grades and he doesn't know the meaning of a lot of words."
Why do Tennessee fans wear orange? So they can dress that way for the game on Saturday, go hunting on Sunday, and pick up trash on Monday.
What does the average Alabama player get on his SATs? Drool.
How many Michigan freshmen football players does it take to change a light bulb? None. That's a sophomore course.
How did the Auburn football player die from drinking milk? The cow fell on him.
Two Texas A&M football players were walking in the woods. One of them said, "Look, a dead bird." The other looked up in the sky and said, "Where?"
What do you say to a Michigan State University football player dressed in a three-piece suit? " "Will the defendant please rise."
If three Florida State football players are in the same car, who is driving? The police officer.
How can you tell if a Clemson football player has a girlfriend? There's tobacco juice on both sides of the pickup truck.
What do you get when you put 32 Arkansas cheerleaders in one room? A full set of teeth.
University of Michigan Coach Jim Harbaugh is only going to dress half of his players for the game this week; the other half will have to dress themselves.
How is the Kansas football team like an opossum? They play dead at home and get killed on the road.
Why did the Nebraska linebacker steal a police car? He saw "911" on the side and thought it was a Porsche.
How do you get a former carolina football player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
They got the McKay quote wrong. It was actually, "Well, we didn't block today, but we made up for it by not tackling."
My favorite McKay quote was:
Reporter: "what did you think of the team's execution?"
McKay: "I'm in favor of it."
He had a million of them though:
"Emotion is highly overrated in football. My wife Corky is emotional as hell but can't play football worth a damn."
"Kickers are like horse manure. They're all over the place."
On his team's blocking strategy: "Hold when you're at home and don't hold when you're on the road."
On how coaching an expansion team is a religious experience: "You do a lot of praying, but most of the time the answer is 'no.'"
On the play of Joe Namath in the Jets' 34-0 victory over Tampa Bay, “Namath is still Namath, but I must say that our guys were nice to him. I noticed when they knocked him down, they helped him to his feet. That was gentlemanly. I thought one stood around long enough to get his autograph.”
On how badly the Bucs looked in losing to the Steelers, 42-0, “There were times I felt like leaving the stadium and hitchhiking home.”
On Tampa Bay ending its 26-game losing streak: "Three or four plane crashes and we're in the playoffs."
On place kicker Pete Rajecki having a bad camp with the Bucs because McKay made him nervous: "I don't think he's got much of a future here, because I plan on going to all the games.''
On the Bucs early games: "Every time I look up, it seems we're punting.''
On opening days: "Opening games make me nervous. To tell the truth, I'd rather open with our second."
After a series of questionable calls helped Notre Dame tie No. 1 USC 21-21 in 1968, McKay was asked about the officiating. He answered, "I'm not surprised. The referee is a fine Catholic fellow by the name of Patrick Murphy."
Asked if Lynn Cain of the Atlanta Falcons was ready to play against the Bucs: "Let me know if Cain is able.''
