You can't make this stuff up!

[DukePA]

Oh my. This person needs to see me. Seriously, if appropriate, please suggest Port Human Services in Greenville.

She lives in a different part of the state, so suggesting Port Human Services to her would simply be inviting her and her problems back to Greenville.

We will make the geographically appropriate mental health recommendation/suggestion.

Good job!

[devildeac]

A recent chart finding:

“She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life until 1989 when she got a divorce.”

[CathyCA]

A recent chart finding:

“She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life until 1989 when she got a divorce.”

Heh heh. . .

In 2004 I hired a trainer and lost 25 pounds. In 2008 I got a divorce and lost 250 pounds.

[devildeac]

A recent chart finding:

“She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life until 1989 when she got a divorce.”

Heh heh. . .

In 2004 I hired a trainer and lost 25 pounds. In 2008 I got a divorce and lost 250 pounds.

Should we conclude that hiring an attorney is a much better way to attain your desired weight loss goal?

[OZZIE4DUKE]

A recent chart finding:

“She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life until 1989 when she got a divorce.”

Heh heh. . .

In 2004 I hired a trainer and lost 25 pounds. In 2008 I got a divorce and lost 250 pounds.

Should we conclude that hiring an attorney is a much better way to attain your desired weight loss goal?

Yes. Yes it is. Especially if you hire the right attorney!

[lawgrad91]

https://mugdom.com/products/limited-edi ... e-11oz-mug

I know a few people who need this....

[lawgrad91]

Today's bizarre criminal complaint: one meth head is charging another meth head with assault.

I can't tell if it's because

a: Defendant meth head's hair color was bleeding onto Victim meth head's new couch, causing discoloration to said couch and a request to leave that turned into a fistfight; or

b: Defendant meth head needed money for more meth and spent quality time with the next door neighbor, earning $40 in the process, and Victim meth head is jealous, causing a request to leave that turned into a fistfight.

Either scenario is possible from the complaint.

[CathyCA]

https://mugdom.com/products/limited-edi ... e-11oz-mug

I know a few people who need this....

I know a few of those people as well.

[CathyCA]

Yesterday, a guy called me and asked for help with a speeding ticket. I explained to him that there are several different ways our District Attorney handles speeding tickets, depending on the defendant's record, the defendant's age, and how fast the defendant was speeding. I asked the guy if he had a traffic record.

"No. I usually just get a lawyer to handle it for me."

I explained to him that I was asking about any convictions in the past three years. "Oh, no."

I then asked him how old he was, and he told me that he is 25.

My next question went right to the heart of his case, so I asked him, "What did the officer charge you with on your citation?"

"Uh, speeding."

Seriously, dude. I already KNEW that. I was trying to find out how FAST you had been driving.

[lawgrad91]

Do you assess a dumbass fee for clients like him? You should.

[OZZIE4DUKE]

Yesterday, a guy called me and asked for help with a speeding ticket. I explained to him that there are several different ways our District Attorney handles speeding tickets, depending on the defendant's record, the defendant's age, and how fast the defendant was speeding. I asked the guy if he had a traffic record.

"No. I usually just get a lawyer to handle it for me."

I explained to him that I was asking about any convictions in the past three years. "Oh, no."

I then asked him how old he was, and he told me that he is 25.

My next question went right to the heart of his case, so I asked him, "What did the officer charge you with on your citation?"

"Uh, speeding."

Seriously, dude. I already KNEW that. I was trying to find out how FAST you had been driving.

He was probably going faster than his IQ by a narrow margin... like 70.

[lawgrad91]

Today's hair in General District Court: guy with green hair. Girl with dark purple hair. Unrelated woman with lavender and teal hair.

[devildeac]

Today's hair in General District Court: guy with green hair. Girl with dark purple hair. Unrelated woman with lavender and teal hair.

They must have traveled up after their shopping sprees at Crabtree Valley Mall yesterday.

[lawgrad91]

Today's hair in General District Court: guy with green hair. Girl with dark purple hair. Unrelated woman with lavender and teal hair.

They must have traveled up after their shopping sprees at Crabtree Valley Mall yesterday.

The woman with lavender and teal hair was wearing Egyptian hieroglyphic leggings.

[CathyCA]

Today's hair in General District Court: guy with green hair. Girl with dark purple hair. Unrelated woman with lavender and teal hair.

They must have traveled up after their shopping sprees at Crabtree Valley Mall yesterday.

The woman with lavender and teal hair was wearing Egyptian hieroglyphic leggings.

She is a true fashionista!

[lawgrad91]

Watching an officer's bodycam of a DUI stop.

Defendant's t-shirt reads "Drinks well with others."

[devildeac]

Seen in recent chart:

"Of note is that the patient's sister asked whey 3 weeks ago."

[YmoBeThere]

Did you offer curds in condolence?

[shereec]

I am the lead for an effort to produce some specific project documents. We have a template that dictates all the information that must be included. In looking over someone else's documents I pointed out that some sections were not complete. Her response was that she skipped those so she could be sure the docs were ready for review...

[lawgrad91]

I am the lead for an effort to produce some specific project documents. We have a template that dictates all the information that must be included. In looking over someone else's documents I pointed out that some sections were not complete. Her response was that she skipped those so she could be sure the docs were ready for review...