Great way to start the day

[wilson]

As a matter of fact, I do bank with BB&T. I remember when Ima did that! She's my hero!

Don't forget the time the ole professor left a shopping cart full of food at the deli at Whole Foods as the attendant behind the counter made a comment about the ole professor's Duke shirt.

Outstanding. Kind of like this dick behind the bar. As we speak, after giving me shit about Duke (having heard me discuss my research and schooling with other bar patrons), and after being a royal asshole when I asked him to put the Braves game on (he never did), he's trying to charge me for Tanqueray and tonic when I sat here and watched him pour me well gin.
Naturally, I told him where to stick that, and then tipped him scantily.

[Lavabe]

Please keep the primates out of the discussion about the "toolholes." I can't recall them offering a position in primatology in the last few years, so I don't think primate references with them will work.

Then again, I'd have no trouble impersonating an ayeaye if some idiot pulled that crap in front of me while driving. [NOTE: an ayeaye has a freaky elongated middle finger.]

If worse comes to worse, use lasers on the toolhole.

[shereec]

Or I would have held my index finger and thumb indicating some of his parts are only an inch big. That's my version of the bird. Kind of makes me feel like I've insulted the person, but they don't know it.

I frequently do this in traffic. Using vehicles as weapons is compensation for SOMEthing. And I always hope they know exactly what I mean! To help them out I try to have a "sympathetic" look on my face - "awwww, sorry about your ..., bless your heart."

But kudos to Weezie for your reaction. I'm sure you were more irritating to him than he hoped to be to you and what better pay back is there?

[devildeac]

Today, that is/was.
I'm cruising along in the left lane in my Benzo with the "BLUDEVL" plate when a dark-colored GMC Yukon appears right on my rear bumper just booking it. I moved over to the right and he blasted by me and pulled immediately in front of me...I'm guessing to show me his tarhole license plate "DUKH8TR" I pulled back to the left and waved and smiled (since I am usually well-mannered and did learn to behave from the nuns at the convent school I went to, no joke) whereupon the @zzhole then flipped me the bird! :o
And this was an adult, not some goofy teenager! Truly, I was infuriated, but I kept waving and smiling and continued doing so at every light for about three miles. Just waving and smiling my deep blue heart out. He tried to ignore the weez, but I wasn't having any of that.
What goes around comes around, big stupid toolhole-jerkface-pinhead-carolina-monkey-humping-cretin.
I learned that at the convent school, too.

Shoulda called *HP and reported the BSTJPCMHC for dangerous driving...