Post
by ArkieDukie » August 15th, 2013, 10:19 pm
and now, for the next installment of "As the Bunsen Burns"
Earlier in the week, I had to deal with a visit from a service engineer. Unbeknownst to me, Wile E. Coyote's wife (who is currently running one of the instruments that I manage, but that's another story), called in a service request. Funny thing is, she didn't even relate the problem correctly to the company. Fortunately, I got a phone call from the service engineer before he arrived, so I was able to fill him in on part of the problem. He was able to bring the part he needed from his stash of spare parts; the parts that were shipped based upon her description of the problem were completely wrong. Problem #1 (the one I told him about but she didn't report) was fixed in about 30 min and was a legitimate reason for a visit. Problem #2 (the one that the expensive parts were shipped for) was basically the equivalent of changing a light bulb and was something she should've been able to fix on her own. Best example I can come up with is saying that your faucet is broken because there's no water coming out of the hose, when the problem is a kink in the hose. Or, maybe better, it's like taking your car to a mechanic, complaining about the engine being broken, when the problem is that you're out of gas. I was appalled. There were also multiple problems in the analytical method she had written. When we would ask her about them, she's say something about having read in the manual to do it that way. I bit my tongue on multiple occasions to keep from saying, "If the manual told you to go to the roof and jump off, would you do that, too?" Now, with this being said, I believe that Wile E. Coyote's wife has a few more functioning brain cells than her husband does.
Yesterday, the tenure-track faculty members in our department attended an all-day faculty workshop. From what I heard, each person gave a 15-20 min talk about their research goals for the year. I've heard verification from 3 independent sources that Wile E. Coyote's presentation was embarrassingly bad. Apparently his research plan was full of holes because he didn't even understand the biological process he was studying, and he was crucified by his colleagues. One person (not Road Runner) told me that there were people visibly yawning during his presentation, and one person even left the room to get coffee. So, now the departmental faculty members have figured out that he has no clue scientifically. Eventually they'll figure out he also doesn't even understand the instrument that he's allegedly an expert on. The question remains, how much longer will it take before The Boss connects the dots?
When Road Runner was relaying all of this to me, she was postulating that WEC must have some sort of major blackmail material on The Boss. I have a theory that I relayed to Road Runner, and she liked it. I think that, somehow, they are related to each other by marriage. My theory is that The Boss' wife and Wile E. Coyote's wife are sisters. It could be a slightly more distant relationship, but I seriously suspect some sort of familial obligation. Either that, or he's finally got a clue and doesn't want to admit that he was wrong to bring this guy in.
Today, at Road Runner's request, I worked with Bar Minion on instrument method development. You may recall that we've been down this road before, and I bowed out after she made a hostile workplace complaint to Road Runner. (This is her strategy for handling things when she doesn't get her way.) I seriously felt like I needed a drink by the time it was over. She is stubborn as a mule and does not listen at all. Seriously, she does not understand the point of what we are doing at all and is basically insistent that her current method is the best one - despite being told by Road Runner that one particular aspect of it is unacceptable. That's what I'm trying to fix, and I'm meeting resistance at every turn. Chick would argue with a brick wall, even when she's wrong and/or doesn't know what she's talking about. Unfortunately I can't complain to Road Runner; she left the country today and is going to be gone for 2 weeks. I wish I could just do it myself and completely go around her, but Road Runner's instructions were for us to work together and fix the problem with the current method. That's not going to happen at the current rate. (hitting head against brick wall)
Most people say that is it is the intellect which makes a great scientist. They are wrong: it is character.
-- Albert Einstein