What should I title it? "Courtroom Tips for the Dumbass" springs immediately to mind, but it may be because I'm marking time before prosecuting two individuals who burned synthetic broom straw in the jail in order to make tattoos.CathyCA wrote:That reminds me of this story you told us a couple of years ago:lawgrad91 wrote:Courtroom tip #1: do not carry the purse you used to shoplift from the store, with you into court, especially if that purse is distinctive.
One of this morning's shoplifting defendants was accused of stuffing items into her large, pink purse and running out of the store. Guess what purse she had to complement her outfit this morning in court....
You should write a book, Lawgrad91.Re: LTE 2.0
by lawgrad91 » April 22nd, 2010, 7:39 pm
Well, we had the dumbest defendant in history in court today. He was charged with stealing shoes from the Shoe Dept, a local store. The clerk said she saw him come in wearing white Nikes, and when he walked out he was wearing white K-swiss, and she found his white Nikes in the K-swiss box back on the shelf. I showed her a picture of a pair of K-swiss, and said, "Is this a picture of a shoe like the ones defendant took?" The clerk said, "yes, and he's wearing the shoes today." I said (using the legal skills I learned at Duke), "Whaaa?" and she replied, "he's wearing the shoes he stole from our store here today." Sure enough, the style number on the inside tongue of his shoes matched the style number on the box.
He came in wearing shoes; he went to jail in his sock feet.
LTE 2.0
Moderator: CameronBornAndBred
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Re: LTE 2.0
Iron Duke #1471997.
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Re: LTE 2.0
Close. How aboutlawgrad91 wrote:What should I title it? "Courtroom Tips for the Dumbass" springs immediately to mind, but it may be because I'm marking time before prosecuting two individuals who burned synthetic broom straw in the jail in order to make tattoos.CathyCA wrote:That reminds me of this story you told us a couple of years ago:lawgrad91 wrote:Courtroom tip #1: do not carry the purse you used to shoplift from the store, with you into court, especially if that purse is distinctive.
One of this morning's shoplifting defendants was accused of stuffing items into her large, pink purse and running out of the store. Guess what purse she had to complement her outfit this morning in court....
You should write a book, Lawgrad91.Re: LTE 2.0
by lawgrad91 » April 22nd, 2010, 7:39 pm
Well, we had the dumbest defendant in history in court today. He was charged with stealing shoes from the Shoe Dept, a local store. The clerk said she saw him come in wearing white Nikes, and when he walked out he was wearing white K-swiss, and she found his white Nikes in the K-swiss box back on the shelf. I showed her a picture of a pair of K-swiss, and said, "Is this a picture of a shoe like the ones defendant took?" The clerk said, "yes, and he's wearing the shoes today." I said (using the legal skills I learned at Duke), "Whaaa?" and she replied, "he's wearing the shoes he stole from our store here today." Sure enough, the style number on the inside tongue of his shoes matched the style number on the box.
He came in wearing shoes; he went to jail in his sock feet.
Courtroom tips for the DA from the ADA
That way you can weave innuendos in for PHB if you want to ...
Your paradigm of optimism
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Go To Hell carolina! Go To Hell!
9F! 9F! 9F! 9F! 9F! 9F! 9F! 9F! 9F!
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Re: LTE 2.0
Courtroom tip #3: Mr. Fool for a Client, if you ask the lieutenant of the jail, "Tell the court, when was the last time we had sexual relations," your case will not go well.
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Re: LTE 2.0
Damn you got a good membry.CathyCA wrote:That reminds me of this story you told us a couple of years ago:lawgrad91 wrote:Courtroom tip #1: do not carry the purse you used to shoplift from the store, with you into court, especially if that purse is distinctive.
One of this morning's shoplifting defendants was accused of stuffing items into her large, pink purse and running out of the store. Guess what purse she had to complement her outfit this morning in court....
You should write a book, Lawgrad91.Re: LTE 2.0
by lawgrad91 » April 22nd, 2010, 7:39 pm
Well, we had the dumbest defendant in history in court today. He was charged with stealing shoes from the Shoe Dept, a local store. The clerk said she saw him come in wearing white Nikes, and when he walked out he was wearing white K-swiss, and she found his white Nikes in the K-swiss box back on the shelf. I showed her a picture of a pair of K-swiss, and said, "Is this a picture of a shoe like the ones defendant took?" The clerk said, "yes, and he's wearing the shoes today." I said (using the legal skills I learned at Duke), "Whaaa?" and she replied, "he's wearing the shoes he stole from our store here today." Sure enough, the style number on the inside tongue of his shoes matched the style number on the box.
He came in wearing shoes; he went to jail in his sock feet.
Duke born, Duke bred, cooking on a grill so I'm tailgate fed.
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Re: LTE 2.0
lawgrad91 wrote:Courtroom tip #3: Mr. Fool for a Client, if you ask the lieutenant of the jail, "Tell the court, when was the last time we had sexual relations," your case will not go well.
2014, 2011, and 2009 Lemur Loving CTN NASCAR Champ. No lasers were used to win these titles.
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Re: LTE 2.0
Our anniversary is in a month and my husband and I were trying to decide how to celebrate.
The two current options are to go to a local chocolate truffle shop or gun range--we've never gone to either. I'm kind of hoping for both, but he likes to surprise me. So we'll see.
The two current options are to go to a local chocolate truffle shop or gun range--we've never gone to either. I'm kind of hoping for both, but he likes to surprise me. So we'll see.
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Re: LTE 2.0
The search function here on CTN helped a little. But these stories stick with me.CameronBornAndBred wrote:Damn you got a good membry.CathyCA wrote:That reminds me of this story you told us a couple of years ago:lawgrad91 wrote:Courtroom tip #1: do not carry the purse you used to shoplift from the store, with you into court, especially if that purse is distinctive.
One of this morning's shoplifting defendants was accused of stuffing items into her large, pink purse and running out of the store. Guess what purse she had to complement her outfit this morning in court....
You should write a book, Lawgrad91.Re: LTE 2.0
by lawgrad91 » April 22nd, 2010, 7:39 pm
Well, we had the dumbest defendant in history in court today. He was charged with stealing shoes from the Shoe Dept, a local store. The clerk said she saw him come in wearing white Nikes, and when he walked out he was wearing white K-swiss, and she found his white Nikes in the K-swiss box back on the shelf. I showed her a picture of a pair of K-swiss, and said, "Is this a picture of a shoe like the ones defendant took?" The clerk said, "yes, and he's wearing the shoes today." I said (using the legal skills I learned at Duke), "Whaaa?" and she replied, "he's wearing the shoes he stole from our store here today." Sure enough, the style number on the inside tongue of his shoes matched the style number on the box.
He came in wearing shoes; he went to jail in his sock feet.
If you're going to be in criminal court, a sense of humor is essential.
“The invention of basketball was not an accident. It was developed to meet a need. Those boys simply would not play 'Drop the Handkerchief.'”
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Re: LTE 2.0
Shooting at truffles? Fun! ;)bluebutton wrote:Our anniversary is in a month and my husband and I were trying to decide how to celebrate.
The two current options are to go to a local chocolate truffle shop or gun range--we've never gone to either. I'm kind of hoping for both, but he likes to surprise me. So we'll see.
I vote for both as well.
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Re: LTE 2.0
Spending a day in court with LawGrad has now been added to my bucket list. Will I get in trouble if I snicker a lot?
Life is good!
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Re: LTE 2.0
Well, if he doesn't take you to the truffle shop you could always shoot him! Maybe not.bluebutton wrote:Our anniversary is in a month and my husband and I were trying to decide how to celebrate.
The two current options are to go to a local chocolate truffle shop or gun range--we've never gone to either. I'm kind of hoping for both, but he likes to surprise me. So we'll see.
Your paradigm of optimism
Go To Hell carolina! Go To Hell!
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Go To Hell carolina! Go To Hell!
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Re: LTE 2.0
Come on down!DukieInKansas wrote:Spending a day in court with LawGrad has now been added to my bucket list. Will I get in trouble if I snicker a lot?
Working in the court system helps one develop a killer poker face.
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Re: LTE 2.0
Happy Friday the 13th! Today is a "Free Roo Day!" Free refills! If you didn't register to get the text messages, do so!
Your paradigm of optimism
Go To Hell carolina! Go To Hell!
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Go To Hell carolina! Go To Hell!
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Re: LTE 2.0
Oh cool. I have my cup with me.OZZIE4DUKE wrote:Happy Friday the 13th! Today is a "Free Roo Day!" Free refills! If you didn't register to get the text messages, do so!
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Re: LTE 2.0
Yikes! Pick me up on your way thru Iowa! I do believe I would have a very difficult time keeping a straight face. Can they arrest us for that?DukieInKansas wrote:Spending a day in court with LawGrad has now been added to my bucket list. Will I get in trouble if I snicker a lot?
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Re: LTE 2.0
FRIDAY the 13th!!!!!
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Re: LTE 2.0
Nah, I will protect you. The bailiffs are all pretty good guys. They will be laughing too.IowaDevil wrote:Yikes! Pick me up on your way thru Iowa! I do believe I would have a very difficult time keeping a straight face. Can they arrest us for that?DukieInKansas wrote:Spending a day in court with LawGrad has now been added to my bucket list. Will I get in trouble if I snicker a lot?
Iron Duke #1471997.
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Re: LTE 2.0
For a while we had a monthly to-do list and somehow "sharpen knives" got put in front of "go on a date". So in our family you never knowOZZIE4DUKE wrote:Well, if he doesn't take you to the truffle shop you could always shoot him! Maybe not.bluebutton wrote:Our anniversary is in a month and my husband and I were trying to decide how to celebrate.
The two current options are to go to a local chocolate truffle shop or gun range--we've never gone to either. I'm kind of hoping for both, but he likes to surprise me. So we'll see.
I've only ever been to a range once and it was fun. I'd love to go with him some time anniversary or not.
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Re: LTE 2.0
I've been drinking free roo-fills all day.OZZIE4DUKE wrote:Happy Friday the 13th! Today is a "Free Roo Day!" Free refills! If you didn't register to get the text messages, do so!
“The invention of basketball was not an accident. It was developed to meet a need. Those boys simply would not play 'Drop the Handkerchief.'”
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Re: LTE 2.0
Two for me today! Thanks for the 'Roo Cup!OZZIE4DUKE wrote:Happy Friday the 13th! Today is a "Free Roo Day!" Free refills! If you didn't register to get the text messages, do so!
[redacted] them and the horses they rode in on.