The Official "WWWD?" Thread

[ArkieDukie]

I fear that you are being so nice (and cooperative), and most people are so naive/busy/minding their own business, that they don't realize that NB is being an/the asshole.

Possibly. At least one co-worker recognizes NB as a cutthroat bitch (to borrow a House-ism). Not sure if others in the lab have the observational skills to pick up on this. I believe she has her bluff in on two people: the co-worker who shares an office with me, and PHB. NuBarbie is, IMHO, a sycophant. Since PHB is a bit narcissistic, one can see why NB can do no wrong.

[windsor]

It may fail the WTA but I truly enjoy reeling out rope for assholes, watching them make a noose, put there head in it and climb on a chair. I either kick the chair out from under them or wait until they do it themselves and they always do. If it pleases you..keep on being helpful and watch the fun. Added bonus: you are immune from the "she never told me" bus toss.

[ArkieDukie]

It may fail the WTA but I truly enjoy reeling out rope for assholes, watching them make a noose, put there head in it and climb on a chair. I either kick the chair out from under them or wait until they do it themselves and they always do. If it pleases you..keep on being helpful and watch the fun. Added bonus: you are immune from the "she never told me" bus toss.

Exactly. I've passed along my knowledge. What NB does with it from there is her decision. I'll continue to play and see what happens. The trick is to take the high road and make sure any outgoing messages pass WTA. It can only add to the entertainment value if other people **cough ** PHB ** cough ** also rise to the bait and fail WTA.

I sent out another helpful tip today; it will be interesting to see if anyone plays along in the new game of BTA (Bait the Asshole).

I so should've done this with Supervisor Barbie. What a blown opportunity.

[Lavabe]

I doubt that ANYTHING will be done to NuBarbie (NuB). I agree 100% with your approach, as it is necessary for CYA purposes. I just don't see that PHB is going to catch religion and do something about NuB. If she can do no wrong (in PHB's mind), NO amount of baiting is going to eliminate her. Too much baiting may come back to bite you.

[ArkieDukie]

I doubt that ANYTHING will be done to NuBarbie (NuB). I agree 100% with your approach, as it is necessary for CYA purposes. I just don't see that PHB is going to catch religion and do something about NuB. If she can do no wrong (in PHB's mind), NO amount of baiting is going to eliminate her. Too much baiting may come back to bite you.

Sadly, you are correct - at least for now. I still think NuB is well-positioned to be a future scapegoat. I was golden when I first started working in the lab, so I'm in a position to see it coming for her.

Funny thing is, it's not intentional baiting. NuB, being a CTB (cutthroat biyotch), feels a compulsive need to one-up me whenever I offer helpful advice - which is a darn good reason to copy other relevant people on any messages I may send to her. I guess I can thank Supervisor Barbie for that little lesson. I wasn't as good at CYA manuveuring, so SB was successful in completely assassinating my character with the boss. By the time I filled the boss in on my side of the story, it was too late to do any good - SB had completely poisoned his opinion of me to the point where he wouldn't believe me. (As an aside, it would be interesting to see how SB and NuB would get along in a work environment. Either they'd get along beautifully and make life miserable for everyone else, or it would be a celebrity death match in which each would be constantly trying to one-up the other.)

The first time NuB tried to make me look bad, she made herself and PHB look bad IMO - to outside people. Full story: I was inadvertently invited to a phone conference with an instrument company that was held for the purpose of helping NuB sort out a problem she was having on a method she had taken over from me. Recall that PHB turned "my" instrument over to NuB when she was hired. I figured out what she was doing wrong and gave her a suggestion for fixing the problem she was seeing. She immediately started explaining why she thought I was wrong, at which point the person from instrument company sided with me. NuB then started talking up how she knew she should've done what I suggested b/c she's done that in the past. After the phone conference, I thought of another setting she needed to change and passed the info along to her. Biyotch then proceeded to send out an e-mail message to all our contacts at the instrument company, PHB, and other people in our lab, in which she stated what I had told her and then proceeded to explain why she thought I was wrong. The thing is, I worked with a couple of people at the instrument company in developing the method, and they were both copied on her message. They were fully cognizant of what I had done and supported the changes I made from the default instrument settings (NuB was using defaults). In fact, THEY suggested the change that was the subject of NuB's message. I replied only to PHB and told him this little factoid. Bet PHB and NuB somehow found a way to make the whole incident my fault rather than hers.

[ArkieDukie]

Week #2 update to PHB went out yesterday. I copied the items from the week #1 update for which I'm still waiting for a response. The vigil continues.

Inadvertently stumbled upon another NuB mistake yesterday, so I sent her a nice note (copying PHB and another coworker). Copied them b/c they might actually need the info I passed along to her. Again, something I know that the coworker doesn't know. PHB does, but he'd never notice the mistake. No response from NuB - no 'thanks for the helpful information,' no 'I already knew that,' nada. Maybe she learned her lesson last week.

Wow - guess I did learn something from Supervisor Barbie. Maybe I should send her a thank-you note and a big bouquet of flowers for teaching me how to deal with CTBs.

[ArkieDukie]

I received a task request this morning for some work to be done for The Minion (and, yes, this is something that no one else can do). I have the requested analysis set up, but I cannot process the data until the instrumental analysis is completed. About 5 minutes ago, I received an e-mail from The Minion, addressed to my boss and me, asking the status of her requested work and telling me what to do when the analytical run is finished. This torques me no end - I had already planned on doing as she requested. Now I think I'm going to stall it a bit.

I have not responded to her e-mail, nor will I. However, I would like to send a request to PHB and tell him to pass along to The Minion that her messages are not appreciated/inappropriate/etc. Moreover, The Minion's implicit attitude that I'm unable to do my job without her input is getting old. I'm sure that PHB doesn't have a problem with this, though. Windsor et al, what should I do? Ignore her or say something to my boss?

[OZZIE4DUKE]

I received a task request this morning for some work to be done for The Minion (and, yes, this is something that no one else can do). I have the requested analysis set up, but I cannot process the data until the instrumental analysis is completed. About 5 minutes ago, I received an e-mail from The Minion, addressed to my boss and me, asking the status of her requested work and telling me what to do when the analytical run is finished. This torques me no end - I had already planned on doing as she requested. Now I think I'm going to stall it a bit.

I have not responded to her e-mail, nor will I. However, I would like to send a request to PHB and tell him to pass along to The Minion that her messages are not appreciated/inappropriate/etc. Moreover, The Minion's implicit attitude that I'm unable to do my job without her input is getting old. I'm sure that PHB doesn't have a problem with this, though. Windsor et al, what should I do? Ignore her or say something to my boss?

Isn't it about time for you to hear back from that telephone interview you had on the way to Durham? My suggestions sort of depend on what you've heard back from them... if you catch my drift!

Although, quite honestly, I tend to want to advise you to tell her to shove her request/advice up her ass and do the analysis herself, and take a nice, long Christmas holiday while you await your new opportunity with the new year!

[Lavabe]

Was the initial task this morning given a due date/time?

Sounds like the real problem is that PHB gave you a task without a deadline. Immediately respond to the next one he gives... get a firm deadline.

Report the status of the job.
Do NOT stall (you become the asshole).
Don't get torqued (you'll be the asshole, and they'll feel empowered).
Don't get even while you're torqued (you'll be the asshole).
Don't give them ANY ammunition to fire you. Eventually, you will make Minion look like the asshole.

Who's worse, Minion or NuBarbie? I need a scoresheet to keep track of them.

[Lavabe]

I agree with Ozzie in spirit, but I'm assuming that you've heard no word from interviews.
Once you get word from those, hopefully you'll be able to sing:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EPrSVkTRb24

[ArkieDukie]

Was the initial task this morning given a due date/time?

Sounds like the real problem is that PHB gave you a task without a deadline. Immediately respond to the next one he gives... get a firm deadline.

Report the status of the job.
Do NOT stall (you become the asshole).
Don't get torqued (you'll be the asshole, and they'll feel empowered).
Don't get even while you're torqued (you'll be the asshole).
Don't give them ANY ammunition to fire you. Eventually, you will make Minion look like the asshole.

Who's worse, Minion or NuBarbie? I need a scoresheet to keep track of them.

The initial task was given a deadline: tomorrow. The instrumental analysis is done and the files are processing as I type. I haven't responded yet to The Minion because 1) I have not yet been able to respond in a manner that does NOT make me the asshole, 2) I do not feel that it is appropriate for The Minion to issue orders to me. I've also been holding off because I would LOVE to find a way to respond that makes her the asshole. It feels like she's playing "Bait the A$$hole," with me in the role of the a$$hole. Her implicit attitude that I don't know how to process her samples without having her input is patronizing. What's really funny is that I'd be doing the analysis incorrectly if I followed her instructions exactly.

Ooh - I think I have the response: I'll oh-so-sweetly apologize to her for not being able to complete the task by the end of the day - PHB didn't give me the task until this morning, the instrument wasn't available until this afternoon, can't stay late to process the samples due to prior commitments. Will maintain sickly sweetness throughout.

Overall, I think The Minion is worse. I have no knowledge of NuBarbie knowingly falsifying data. Otherwise, they're quite similar.

[ArkieDukie]

I agree with Ozzie in spirit, but I'm assuming that you've heard no word from interviews.
Once you get word from those, hopefully you'll be able to sing:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EPrSVkTRb24

Correct; no word from phone interviews in Boston. I think that means "no," although our sales rep thinks they'll hire me once a suitable position in my field becomes available. There's another position with the company that I'd really like to work for; it was just posted last night. I'm not sure if I should bother applying, given my luck with them so far. I'll try one last time, I guess.

I haven't heard anything from the job in Galveston, either. However, given how long it took to hear something before, I'm not especially worried. However, I'm planning to contact them tomorrow, either by phone or by e-mail.

[lawgrad91]

Was the initial task this morning given a due date/time?

Sounds like the real problem is that PHB gave you a task without a deadline. Immediately respond to the next one he gives... get a firm deadline.

Report the status of the job.
Do NOT stall (you become the asshole).
Don't get torqued (you'll be the asshole, and they'll feel empowered).
Don't get even while you're torqued (you'll be the asshole).
Don't give them ANY ammunition to fire you. Eventually, you will make Minion look like the asshole.

Who's worse, Minion or NuBarbie? I need a scoresheet to keep track of them.

The initial task was given a deadline: tomorrow. The instrumental analysis is done and the files are processing as I type. I haven't responded yet to The Minion because 1) I have not yet been able to respond in a manner that does NOT make me the asshole, 2) I do not feel that it is appropriate for The Minion to issue orders to me. I've also been holding off because I would LOVE to find a way to respond that makes her the asshole. It feels like she's playing "Bait the A$$hole," with me in the role of the a$$hole. Her implicit attitude that I don't know how to process her samples without having her input is patronizing. What's really funny is that I'd be doing the analysis incorrectly if I followed her instructions exactly.

Ooh - I think I have the response: I'll oh-so-sweetly apologize to her for not being able to complete the task by the end of the day - PHB didn't give me the task until this morning, the instrument wasn't available until this afternoon, can't stay late to process the samples due to prior commitments. Will maintain sickly sweetness throughout.

Overall, I think The Minion is worse. I have no knowledge of NuBarbie knowingly falsifying data. Otherwise, they're quite similar.

My guess is, The Minion is baiting you. She wants to run to PHB to show him what an A$$hole you are when you respond in a manner that would otherwise be appropriate, given her idiocy.

Besides yourself, who would figure out that it was wrong if you followed her instructions exactly? Can you email her, tell her (in the grandest of Southern Belle traditions) that, bless her heart, she must've accidentally sent you the wrong instructions for this sort of analysis, so the correct analysis will take a little longer, with CC: to PHB and BC: to anyone else you want to have a copy?

[ArkieDukie]

My guess is, The Minion is baiting you. She wants to run to PHB to show him what an A$$hole you are when you respond in a manner that would otherwise be appropriate, given her idiocy.

Besides yourself, who would figure out that it was wrong if you followed her instructions exactly? Can you email her, tell her (in the grandest of Southern Belle traditions) that, bless her heart, she must've accidentally sent you the wrong instructions for this sort of analysis, so the correct analysis will take a little longer, with CC: to PHB and BC: to anyone else you want to have a copy?

I, too, believe The Minion is baiting me, and I believe the incorrect instructions are intentional and are part of the bait. Who knows if PHB and PPI are in on her game. Time for me to step up and make her reveal herself as the conniving opportunist that she is. Minion has PHB and PPI snowed, but not me.

I went with my plan of the sickly sweet response (copying PPI and PHB, as she did on the message to me), apologizing profusely for not being able to get the results to her today. I'm hoping this will make Minion appear unreasonable and pushy in her request. Will send another profuse apology tomorrow when I send her the data. Pointing out her mistake will make me the a$$hole, as will doing the analysis exactly as she requested, tempting though it may be. I'll remain on the sickly sweet high road, maintaining a positive and cheery tone, do the analysis correctly, and try to make her appear unreasonable whenever the opportunity presents itself.

[OZZIE4DUKE]

Will send another profuse apology tomorrow when I send her the data. Pointing out her mistake will make me the a$$hole, as will doing the analysis exactly as she requested, tempting though it may be. I'll remain on the sickly sweet high road, maintaining a positive and cheery tone, do the analysis correctly, and try to make her appear unreasonable whenever the opportunity presents itself.

Why? A second apology makes you appear weak. And she WAS WRONG in what she told you to do, and you should let her know. In a nice way if you must, but let everyone else know she was wrong too. She is the asshole, and she's a dumbass, too.

[ArkieDukie]

Will send another profuse apology tomorrow when I send her the data. Pointing out her mistake will make me the a$$hole, as will doing the analysis exactly as she requested, tempting though it may be. I'll remain on the sickly sweet high road, maintaining a positive and cheery tone, do the analysis correctly, and try to make her appear unreasonable whenever the opportunity presents itself.

Why? A second apology makes you appear weak. And she WAS WRONG in what she told you to do, and you should let her know. In a nice way if you must, but let everyone else know she was wrong too. She is the asshole, and she's a dumbass, too.

It would be really fun to reply only to The Minion and warn her that she should be careful of usurping PHB's authority, which is really what she's doing. This would come back to bite me, though, because The Minion would be sure to use it against me. No, I just need to defuse The Minion by doing my job and not pandering to her. And, hey, if I can drag my feet ever so slightly any time she issues orders, well, so much the better.

[Turk]

I received a task request this morning for some work to be done for The Minion (and, yes, this is something that no one else can do). I have the requested analysis set up, but I cannot process the data until the instrumental analysis is completed. About 5 minutes ago, I received an e-mail from The Minion, addressed to my boss and me, asking the status of her requested work and telling me what to do when the analytical run is finished. This torques me no end - I had already planned on doing as she requested. Now I think I'm going to stall it a bit.

I have not responded to her e-mail, nor will I. However, I would like to send a request to PHB and tell him to pass along to The Minion that her messages are not appreciated/inappropriate/etc. Moreover, The Minion's implicit attitude that I'm unable to do my job without her input is getting old. I'm sure that PHB doesn't have a problem with this, though. Windsor et al, what should I do? Ignore her or say something to my boss?

Hmm... Let's back it up just a bit. Arkie, I'm not sure this is the hill you want to fight a battle over... My call here is keep it short, sweet, and to the point on these "what's the status" emails. This type of task sounds like routine stuff, so resist the temptation to add a lot of drama. (I've noticed there's plenty of that going on already).

Next time this happens, I'd shoot something like this: "On track for completion by tomorrow as requested. Instrument analysis in progress. When complete, I'll do 1, 2, and 3." Nothing more, nothing less, then send the results when done. (I would be tempted to throw a "chillax" at the end; it's my favorite word this week.) Let other people figure out that Minion gave you wrong instructions (skipped #2, had them out of order, whatever). Yes, it's annoying, but don't take the bait, especially over this routine stuff. Just bang it out the way you always do and move on. Less interaction is better in this case.

[Turk]

My guess is, The Minion is baiting you. She wants to run to PHB to show him what an A$$hole you are when you respond in a manner that would otherwise be appropriate, given her idiocy.

Besides yourself, who would figure out that it was wrong if you followed her instructions exactly? Can you email her, tell her (in the grandest of Southern Belle traditions) that, bless her heart, she must've accidentally sent you the wrong instructions for this sort of analysis, so the correct analysis will take a little longer, with CC: to PHB and BC: to anyone else you want to have a copy?

I, too, believe The Minion is baiting me, and I believe the incorrect instructions are intentional and are part of the bait. Who knows if PHB and PPI are in on her game. Time for me to step up and make her reveal herself as the conniving opportunist that she is. Minion has PHB and PPI snowed, but not me.

I went with my plan of the sickly sweet response (copying PPI and PHB, as she did on the message to me), apologizing profusely for not being able to get the results to her today. I'm hoping this will make Minion appear unreasonable and pushy in her request. Will send another profuse apology tomorrow when I send her the data. Pointing out her mistake will make me the a$$hole, as will doing the analysis exactly as she requested, tempting though it may be. I'll remain on the sickly sweet high road, maintaining a positive and cheery tone, do the analysis correctly, and try to make her appear unreasonable whenever the opportunity presents itself.

"Just the facts, ma'am, just the facts..." Apologize for nothing. Shorter is better... See previous post... Look for the high road, and don't worry about sickly sweet subliminal messages. It's Friday and people just want to go home early and enjoy the weekend.

[ArkieDukie]

I took the Turk Approach when I sent the data: here are the results as per your request, with additional information that you did not request (but not in those words). No response from either message that I sent.

It is appropriate to point out that her experiment did not give the desired results. However, it did give the results I predicted several months ago. Today is the normal meeting time for PHB, PPI, and The Minion, so I'm sure her results (or lack thereof) will be a point of discussion. Think I'll make sure my office door is closed when they're here.

[Turk]

There you go, that's how you do it. Might also be a good time to be getting caught up on any / all dental and medical checkups that you've been putting off for one reason or another. Good to schedule those in midafternoon, with the expectation that you'll see everyone tomorrow. One every two or three weeks or so should be about right...