You can't make this stuff up!

[CathyCA]

Too long between posts….

Tonight the 911 center got a call from the Patrick County Sheriff’s Office. Apparently a UPS driver stopped at an address in Henry County, and a chicken jumped in the truck while he was stopped.

Henny Penny rode all the way to Patrick County and jumped out at the sheriff’s office, where deputies are chasing her in the parking lot with an eye to returning her to her home. Patrick Co wanted Henry Co to know in case there was a call regarding a chicken thief.

I sincerely hope that someone captured the parking lot chase on video.

[lawgrad91]

One of our current inmates just got this from his mama: “Just got home from the doctor and he took a lot of fluid off my right liver.”

LIVER???

[CameronBornAndBred]

One of our current inmates just got this from his mama: “Just got home from the doctor and he took a lot of fluid off my right liver.”

LIVER???

Having a 2nd liver is a good backup plan.

[Phredd3]

One of our current inmates just got this from his mama: “Just got home from the doctor and he took a lot of fluid off my right liver.”

I mean, thank goodness the doc didn't take fluid off the wrong liver!

[lawgrad91]

If your county sheriff’s office sends its most seasoned criminal investigator out to determine who had sex on the bags of mulch in front of the Food Lion, and who posted it on social media, you might work on Varnish County.

No word if it was hardwood mulch….

[lawgrad91]

Coworker Awbrey got a power strip and asked maintenance to move her desk back to drop the cord to the outlet.

They've been drilling and banging for an hour. Coworker Emily texted and asked if they were building the Great Wall of China.

[Phredd3]

Coworker Awbrey got a power strip and asked maintenance to move her desk back to drop the cord to the outlet.

They've been drilling and banging for an hour. Coworker Emily texted and asked if they were building the Great Wall of China.

Maybe they're getting paid hourly?

[lawgrad91]

Coworker Awbrey got a power strip and asked maintenance to move her desk back to drop the cord to the outlet.

They've been drilling and banging for an hour. Coworker Emily texted and asked if they were building the Great Wall of China.

Maybe they're getting paid hourly?

Must be.

It took one hour and forty-five minutes. They did not move the desk back to where it is supposed to be, and the power strip is mounted crooked.

Emily and I told Awbrey to put it up with Command Strips, but she didn't listen.

[lawgrad91]

We all got emails from Jethro today regarding evaluations. We are to do self-evaluations for the 2023 calendar year.

Today is June 3. I can't remember what I had for lunch on Friday, and someone expects me to do a self-evaluation for 2023? BS.

[OPK]

We all got emails from Jethro today regarding evaluations. We are to do self-evaluations for the 2023 calendar year.

Today is June 3. I can't remember what I had for lunch on Friday, and someone expects me to do a self-evaluation for 2023? BS.

You were good. Damn good. Let them know.

[lawgrad91]

We all got emails from Jethro today regarding evaluations. We are to do self-evaluations for the 2023 calendar year.

Today is June 3. I can't remember what I had for lunch on Friday, and someone expects me to do a self-evaluation for 2023? BS.

You were good. Damn good. Let them know.

Perfect....

I've been here 27 years, 5 months and 4 days. What exactly do they think I'm going to do to improve?

[OPK]

We all got emails from Jethro today regarding evaluations. We are to do self-evaluations for the 2023 calendar year.

Today is June 3. I can't remember what I had for lunch on Friday, and someone expects me to do a self-evaluation for 2023? BS.

You were good. Damn good. Let them know.

Perfect....

I've been here 27 years, 5 months and 4 days. What exactly do they think I'm going to do to improve?

New socks?

[lawgrad91]

You were good. Damn good. Let them know.

Perfect....

I've been here 27 years, 5 months and 4 days. What exactly do they think I'm going to do to improve?

New socks?

[lawgrad91]

Coworker Emily just texted in high dudgeon from Circuit Court. She had a trial scheduled, and had notated on the file, "victim is deaf. Need interpreter."

So the clerk helpfully lined up an interpreter. Mr. Torres. A really nice man. But a SPANISH interpreter, not a sign language one.

[OPK]

Coworker Emily just texted in high dudgeon from Circuit Court. She had a trial scheduled, and had notated on the file, "victim is deaf. Need interpreter."

So the clerk helpfully lined up an interpreter. Mr. Torres. A really nice man. But a SPANISH interpreter, not a sign language one.

“Make sure to read ALL instructions . . . .”

[ArkieDukie]

Coworker Emily just texted in high dudgeon from Circuit Court. She had a trial scheduled, and had notated on the file, "victim is deaf. Need interpreter."

So the clerk helpfully lined up an interpreter. Mr. Torres. A really nice man. But a SPANISH interpreter, not a sign language one.

Oh, my…

[lawgrad91]

Deputy just called, wanting to know if we are willing to prosecute a person for stealing another person's bong, pink vibrator and charging cord.

That'd be a negative, Ghost Rider.

[OPK]

Deputy just called, wanting to know if we are willing to prosecute a person for stealing another person's bong, pink vibrator and charging cord.

That'd be a negative, Ghost Rider.

Eek!

[lawgrad91]

If your county sheriff’s office sends its most seasoned criminal investigator out to determine who had sex on the bags of mulch in front of the Food Lion, and who posted it on social media, you might work on Varnish County.

No word if it was hardwood mulch….

This goes to court tomorrow (charge is misdemeanor indecent exposure). Coworker Josh told me that the parties were never able to make bond, and apparently are pleading guilty tomorrow to a sentence of time served.

They have served sixty-nine days.

[OPK]

If your county sheriff’s office sends its most seasoned criminal investigator out to determine who had sex on the bags of mulch in front of the Food Lion, and who posted it on social media, you might work on Varnish County.

No word if it was hardwood mulch….

This goes to court tomorrow (charge is misdemeanor indecent exposure). Coworker Josh told me that the parties were never able to make bond, and apparently are pleading guilty tomorrow to a sentence of time served.

They have served sixty-nine days.

Sounds like the defendant should get a bong, a pink vibrator, and a charging cord as part of the deal.

Just sayin’ - you can tie up two cases with one deal.