Anything goes, all topics welcome!
Moderator: CameronBornAndBred
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CathyCA
- PWing School Chancellor
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by CathyCA » August 10th, 2016, 1:02 pm
“The invention of basketball was not an accident. It was developed to meet a need. Those boys simply would not play 'Drop the Handkerchief.'”
~ James Naismith
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devildeac
- PWing School Chancellor
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by devildeac » August 10th, 2016, 1:54 pm
Sent from our son this AM during morning rounds:
Patient's allergies: oxygen (causes rash)
His comment to me: Send this patient to Mars! STAT!
![Rolling on the floor =))](./images/smilies/24.gif)
[redacted] them and the horses they rode in on.
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lawgrad91
- PWing School Chancellor
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by lawgrad91 » August 11th, 2016, 3:01 pm
Next week a guy is contesting a parking ticket for parking in a handicapped space without a placard.
His written explanation is that his client is very weak due to being on "dialisa."
![9F :9f:](./images/smilies/devil9f.gif)
Iron Duke #1471997.
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CathyCA
- PWing School Chancellor
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- Location: Greenville, North Carolina
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by CathyCA » August 12th, 2016, 11:22 am
Is "dialisa" like having two of these?
![Image](http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-mP0Axtz3FxY/TyqUV-YK1jI/AAAAAAAABWI/d4f72HyxS5Y/s1600/gioconda-museo-del-prado-horz+-+Copia.jpg)
“The invention of basketball was not an accident. It was developed to meet a need. Those boys simply would not play 'Drop the Handkerchief.'”
~ James Naismith
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lawgrad91
- PWing School Chancellor
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- Location: Walkertown NC/Varnish County VA
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by lawgrad91 » August 12th, 2016, 1:04 pm
CathyCA wrote:Is "dialisa" like having two of these?
![Image](http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-mP0Axtz3FxY/TyqUV-YK1jI/AAAAAAAABWI/d4f72HyxS5Y/s1600/gioconda-museo-del-prado-horz+-+Copia.jpg)
I do believe so!
![9F :9f:](./images/smilies/devil9f.gif)
Iron Duke #1471997.
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lawgrad91
- PWing School Chancellor
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by lawgrad91 » August 12th, 2016, 1:13 pm
Would anyone here like to guess what rocket scientist in the office said to coworker Jessica, "Wow! That guy blew a .33 BAC? One third of his blood was alcohol!"
Um, no. A BAC of .33 means one third of ONE PERCENT of his blood was alcohol. A very high BAC, but not remotely the same.
And no, not the midget perv. He was a biology major.
Iron Duke #1471997.
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devildeac
- PWing School Chancellor
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by devildeac » August 12th, 2016, 1:59 pm
CathyCA wrote:Is "dialisa" like having two of these?
![Image](http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-mP0Axtz3FxY/TyqUV-YK1jI/AAAAAAAABWI/d4f72HyxS5Y/s1600/gioconda-museo-del-prado-horz+-+Copia.jpg)
I thought it was more like having a girl friend named Lisa and calling her on the phone. (You know, like you used to do on a rotary phone.)
![Blushing :ymblushing:](./images/smilies/9.gif)
[redacted] them and the horses they rode in on.
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CathyCA
- PWing School Chancellor
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by CathyCA » August 13th, 2016, 11:12 am
lawgrad91 wrote:Would anyone here like to guess what rocket scientist in the office said to coworker Jessica, "Wow! That guy blew a .33 BAC? One third of his blood was alcohol!"
Um, no. A BAC of .33 means one third of ONE PERCENT of his blood was alcohol. A very high BAC, but not remotely the same.
And no, not the midget perv. He was a biology major.
At least that argument didn't get presented to a jury. The defense attorney in me would be high jumping up to the beach to call for a mistrial.
![9F :9f:](./images/smilies/devil9f.gif)
“The invention of basketball was not an accident. It was developed to meet a need. Those boys simply would not play 'Drop the Handkerchief.'”
~ James Naismith
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August West
- Part Time Student at PWing school
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by August West » August 13th, 2016, 7:30 pm
CathyCA wrote:lawgrad91 wrote:Would anyone here like to guess what rocket scientist in the office said to coworker Jessica, "Wow! That guy blew a .33 BAC? One third of his blood was alcohol!"
Um, no. A BAC of .33 means one third of ONE PERCENT of his blood was alcohol. A very high BAC, but not remotely the same.
And no, not the midget perv. He was a biology major.
At least that argument didn't get presented to a jury. The defense attorney in me would be high jumping up to the beach to call for a mistrial.
![9F :9f:](./images/smilies/devil9f.gif)
I want to jump up and run to the beach too!
![Bouncy Blue :happy-bouncyblue:](./images/smilies/happy/bouncyblue.gif)
AW
![Big Grin :D](./images/smilies/4.gif)
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CathyCA
- PWing School Chancellor
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by CathyCA » August 14th, 2016, 3:55 pm
August West wrote:CathyCA wrote:lawgrad91 wrote:Would anyone here like to guess what rocket scientist in the office said to coworker Jessica, "Wow! That guy blew a .33 BAC? One third of his blood was alcohol!"
Um, no. A BAC of .33 means one third of ONE PERCENT of his blood was alcohol. A very high BAC, but not remotely the same.
And no, not the midget perv. He was a biology major.
At least that argument didn't get presented to a jury. The defense attorney in me would be high jumping up to the beach to call for a mistrial.
![9F :9f:](./images/smilies/devil9f.gif)
I want to jump up and run to the beach too!
![Bouncy Blue :happy-bouncyblue:](./images/smilies/happy/bouncyblue.gif)
AW
![Big Grin :D](./images/smilies/4.gif)
LOL Such an unfortunate typo.
Bench. Bench. Bench.
The N and the A are nowhere near each other on the keyboard. I wonder how I made that typo?
![9F :9f:](./images/smilies/devil9f.gif)
“The invention of basketball was not an accident. It was developed to meet a need. Those boys simply would not play 'Drop the Handkerchief.'”
~ James Naismith
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DukePA
- PWing School Associate Professor
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by DukePA » August 14th, 2016, 5:20 pm
CathyCA wrote:August West wrote:CathyCA wrote:
At least that argument didn't get presented to a jury. The defense attorney in me would be high jumping up to the beach to call for a mistrial.
![9F :9f:](./images/smilies/devil9f.gif)
I want to jump up and run to the beach too!
![Bouncy Blue :happy-bouncyblue:](./images/smilies/happy/bouncyblue.gif)
AW
![Big Grin :D](./images/smilies/4.gif)
LOL Such an unfortunate typo.
Bench. Bench. Bench.
The N and the A are nowhere near each other on the keyboard. I wonder how I made that typo?
![9F :9f:](./images/smilies/devil9f.gif)
Sounds like an idyllic Freudian slip
![Big Grin :D](./images/smilies/4.gif)
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lawgrad91
- PWing School Chancellor
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by lawgrad91 » August 15th, 2016, 4:25 pm
Victim: "Defendant called me a snitch!"
Defendant: "I didn't call him a SNITCH, I called him a BITCH!"
![9F :9f:](./images/smilies/devil9f.gif)
Iron Duke #1471997.
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IowaDevil
- PWing School Associate Professor
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by IowaDevil » August 16th, 2016, 10:59 am
lawgrad91 wrote:Victim: "Defendant called me a snitch!"
Defendant: "I didn't call him a SNITCH, I called him a BITCH!"
![9F :9f:](./images/smilies/devil9f.gif)
One more for that book you're writing!
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CathyCA
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by CathyCA » August 23rd, 2016, 12:27 pm
Heard during felony assault trial:
Attorney (to defendant accused of assaulting his ex): "What were you wearing?"
Defendant: "A wife-beater."
Court reporter visibly chuckles.
(True story. The court reporter here is my cousin.)
![9F :9f:](./images/smilies/devil9f.gif)
“The invention of basketball was not an accident. It was developed to meet a need. Those boys simply would not play 'Drop the Handkerchief.'”
~ James Naismith
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lawgrad91
- PWing School Chancellor
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by lawgrad91 » August 23rd, 2016, 12:39 pm
Iron Duke #1471997.
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Ima Facultiwyfe
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by Ima Facultiwyfe » August 23rd, 2016, 1:46 pm
Ohhhh MAN!
Love, Ima
"We will never NEVER go away." -- D. Cutcliffe
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DukePA
- PWing School Associate Professor
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by DukePA » August 23rd, 2016, 2:00 pm
CathyCA wrote:Heard during felony assault trial:
Attorney (to defendant accused of assaulting his ex): "What were you wearing?"
Defendant: "A wife-beater."
Court reporter visibly chuckles.
(True story. The court reporter here is my cousin.)
![9F :9f:](./images/smilies/devil9f.gif)
Bwahahaha!!! "But I'm innocent, yer honor!"
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windsor
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by windsor » August 24th, 2016, 9:24 am
CathyCA wrote:Heard during felony assault trial:
Attorney (to defendant accused of assaulting his ex): "What were you wearing?"
Defendant: "A wife-beater."
Court reporter visibly chuckles.
(True story. The court reporter here is my cousin.)
![9F :9f:](./images/smilies/devil9f.gif)
Because nothing says "i take my court appearance seriously' like wearing a 'beater'.
All that is gold does not glitter, not all those who wander are lost; the old that is strong does not wither, deep roots are not reached by the frost.
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lawgrad91
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by lawgrad91 » August 25th, 2016, 2:29 pm
Pro tip: when you are in court to support a defendant, it isn't good practice, unless you like being in the cell with said defendant, to call the Commonwealth's witness a "snitching a**hole." In open court. Loud enough for the prosecutor to hear it clearly and the bailiff to point out the transgressor.
![9F :9f:](./images/smilies/devil9f.gif)
Iron Duke #1471997.
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DukePA
- PWing School Associate Professor
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by DukePA » August 25th, 2016, 3:55 pm
lawgrad91 wrote:Pro tip: when you are in court to support a defendant, it isn't good practice, unless you like being in the cell with said defendant, to call the Commonwealth's witness a "snitching a**hole." In open court. Loud enough for the prosecutor to hear it clearly and the bailiff to point out the transgressor.
![9F :9f:](./images/smilies/devil9f.gif)
Ooooooh!!! Someone is lucky he, or she, did not to get bitch slapped!!!