LTE 2.0

lawgrad91 · Post by **lawgrad91** » July 12th, 2012, 3:13 pm

CathyCA wrote:
lawgrad91 wrote:Courtroom tip #1: do not carry the purse you used to shoplift from the store, with you into court, especially if that purse is distinctive.

One of this morning's shoplifting defendants was accused of stuffing items into her large, pink purse and running out of the store. Guess what purse she had to complement her outfit this morning in court....
That reminds me of this story you told us a couple of years ago:

Re: LTE 2.0

by lawgrad91 » April 22nd, 2010, 7:39 pm

Well, we had the dumbest defendant in history in court today. He was charged with stealing shoes from the Shoe Dept, a local store. The clerk said she saw him come in wearing white Nikes, and when he walked out he was wearing white K-swiss, and she found his white Nikes in the K-swiss box back on the shelf. I showed her a picture of a pair of K-swiss, and said, "Is this a picture of a shoe like the ones defendant took?" The clerk said, "yes, and he's wearing the shoes today." I said (using the legal skills I learned at Duke), "Whaaa?" and she replied, "he's wearing the shoes he stole from our store here today." Sure enough, the style number on the inside tongue of his shoes matched the style number on the box.

He came in wearing shoes; he went to jail in his sock feet.
You should write a book, Lawgrad91.

What should I title it? "Courtroom Tips for the Dumbass" springs immediately to mind, but it may be because I'm marking time before prosecuting two individuals who burned synthetic broom straw in the jail in order to make tattoos.

OZZIE4DUKE · Post by **OZZIE4DUKE** » July 12th, 2012, 4:59 pm

lawgrad91 wrote:
CathyCA wrote:
lawgrad91 wrote:Courtroom tip #1: do not carry the purse you used to shoplift from the store, with you into court, especially if that purse is distinctive.

One of this morning's shoplifting defendants was accused of stuffing items into her large, pink purse and running out of the store. Guess what purse she had to complement her outfit this morning in court....
That reminds me of this story you told us a couple of years ago:

Re: LTE 2.0

by lawgrad91 » April 22nd, 2010, 7:39 pm

Well, we had the dumbest defendant in history in court today. He was charged with stealing shoes from the Shoe Dept, a local store. The clerk said she saw him come in wearing white Nikes, and when he walked out he was wearing white K-swiss, and she found his white Nikes in the K-swiss box back on the shelf. I showed her a picture of a pair of K-swiss, and said, "Is this a picture of a shoe like the ones defendant took?" The clerk said, "yes, and he's wearing the shoes today." I said (using the legal skills I learned at Duke), "Whaaa?" and she replied, "he's wearing the shoes he stole from our store here today." Sure enough, the style number on the inside tongue of his shoes matched the style number on the box.

He came in wearing shoes; he went to jail in his sock feet.
You should write a book, Lawgrad91.

What should I title it? "Courtroom Tips for the Dumbass" springs immediately to mind, but it may be because I'm marking time before prosecuting two individuals who burned synthetic broom straw in the jail in order to make tattoos.

Close. How about
Courtroom tips for the DA from the ADA

That way you can weave innuendos in for PHB if you want to ...

IowaDevil · Post by **IowaDevil** » July 12th, 2012, 5:07 pm

I agree - lawyers have the most fun!

lawgrad91 · Post by **lawgrad91** » July 12th, 2012, 5:12 pm

Courtroom tip #3: Mr. Fool for a Client, if you ask the lieutenant of the jail, "Tell the court, when was the last time we had sexual relations," your case will not go well.

CameronBornAndBred · Post by **CameronBornAndBred** » July 12th, 2012, 7:07 pm

CathyCA wrote:
lawgrad91 wrote:Courtroom tip #1: do not carry the purse you used to shoplift from the store, with you into court, especially if that purse is distinctive.

One of this morning's shoplifting defendants was accused of stuffing items into her large, pink purse and running out of the store. Guess what purse she had to complement her outfit this morning in court....
That reminds me of this story you told us a couple of years ago:

Re: LTE 2.0

by lawgrad91 » April 22nd, 2010, 7:39 pm

Well, we had the dumbest defendant in history in court today. He was charged with stealing shoes from the Shoe Dept, a local store. The clerk said she saw him come in wearing white Nikes, and when he walked out he was wearing white K-swiss, and she found his white Nikes in the K-swiss box back on the shelf. I showed her a picture of a pair of K-swiss, and said, "Is this a picture of a shoe like the ones defendant took?" The clerk said, "yes, and he's wearing the shoes today." I said (using the legal skills I learned at Duke), "Whaaa?" and she replied, "he's wearing the shoes he stole from our store here today." Sure enough, the style number on the inside tongue of his shoes matched the style number on the box.

He came in wearing shoes; he went to jail in his sock feet.
You should write a book, Lawgrad91.

Damn you got a good membry.

Lavabe · Post by **Lavabe** » July 12th, 2012, 7:20 pm

lawgrad91 wrote:Courtroom tip #3: Mr. Fool for a Client, if you ask the lieutenant of the jail, "Tell the court, when was the last time we had sexual relations," your case will not go well.

bluebutton · Post by **bluebutton** » July 12th, 2012, 10:03 pm

Our anniversary is in a month and my husband and I were trying to decide how to celebrate.

The two current options are to go to a local chocolate truffle shop or gun range--we've never gone to either. I'm kind of hoping for both, but he likes to surprise me. So we'll see.

CathyCA · Post by **CathyCA** » July 12th, 2012, 10:09 pm

CameronBornAndBred wrote:
CathyCA wrote:
lawgrad91 wrote:Courtroom tip #1: do not carry the purse you used to shoplift from the store, with you into court, especially if that purse is distinctive.

One of this morning's shoplifting defendants was accused of stuffing items into her large, pink purse and running out of the store. Guess what purse she had to complement her outfit this morning in court....
That reminds me of this story you told us a couple of years ago:

Re: LTE 2.0

by lawgrad91 » April 22nd, 2010, 7:39 pm

Well, we had the dumbest defendant in history in court today. He was charged with stealing shoes from the Shoe Dept, a local store. The clerk said she saw him come in wearing white Nikes, and when he walked out he was wearing white K-swiss, and she found his white Nikes in the K-swiss box back on the shelf. I showed her a picture of a pair of K-swiss, and said, "Is this a picture of a shoe like the ones defendant took?" The clerk said, "yes, and he's wearing the shoes today." I said (using the legal skills I learned at Duke), "Whaaa?" and she replied, "he's wearing the shoes he stole from our store here today." Sure enough, the style number on the inside tongue of his shoes matched the style number on the box.

He came in wearing shoes; he went to jail in his sock feet.
You should write a book, Lawgrad91.

Damn you got a good membry.

The search function here on CTN helped a little. But these stories stick with me.

If you're going to be in criminal court, a sense of humor is essential.

DevilAlumna · Post by **DevilAlumna** » July 13th, 2012, 12:23 am

bluebutton wrote:Our anniversary is in a month and my husband and I were trying to decide how to celebrate.

The two current options are to go to a local chocolate truffle shop or gun range--we've never gone to either. I'm kind of hoping for both, but he likes to surprise me. So we'll see.

Shooting at truffles? Fun! ;)

I vote for both as well.

DukieInKansas · Post by **DukieInKansas** » July 13th, 2012, 12:46 am

Spending a day in court with LawGrad has now been added to my bucket list. Will I get in trouble if I snicker a lot?

OZZIE4DUKE · Post by **OZZIE4DUKE** » July 13th, 2012, 9:02 am

bluebutton wrote:Our anniversary is in a month and my husband and I were trying to decide how to celebrate.

The two current options are to go to a local chocolate truffle shop or gun range--we've never gone to either. I'm kind of hoping for both, but he likes to surprise me. So we'll see.

Well, if he doesn't take you to the truffle shop you could always shoot him! Maybe not.

lawgrad91 · Post by **lawgrad91** » July 13th, 2012, 9:23 am

DukieInKansas wrote:Spending a day in court with LawGrad has now been added to my bucket list. Will I get in trouble if I snicker a lot?

Come on down!

Working in the court system helps one develop a killer poker face.

OZZIE4DUKE · Post by **OZZIE4DUKE** » July 13th, 2012, 9:32 am

Happy Friday the 13th! Today is a "Free Roo Day!" Free refills!

If you didn't register to get the text messages, do so!

CameronBornAndBred · Post by **CameronBornAndBred** » July 13th, 2012, 9:33 am

OZZIE4DUKE wrote:Happy Friday the 13th! Today is a "Free Roo Day!" Free refills! If you didn't register to get the text messages, do so!

Oh cool. I have my cup with me.

IowaDevil · Post by **IowaDevil** » July 13th, 2012, 9:47 am

DukieInKansas wrote:Spending a day in court with LawGrad has now been added to my bucket list. Will I get in trouble if I snicker a lot?

Yikes! Pick me up on your way thru Iowa! I do believe I would have a very difficult time keeping a straight face. Can they arrest us for that?

DevilWearsPrada2.0 · Post by **DevilWearsPrada2.0** » July 13th, 2012, 9:49 am

FRIDAY the 13th!!!!!

lawgrad91 · Post by **lawgrad91** » July 13th, 2012, 2:55 pm

IowaDevil wrote:
DukieInKansas wrote:Spending a day in court with LawGrad has now been added to my bucket list. Will I get in trouble if I snicker a lot?
Yikes! Pick me up on your way thru Iowa! I do believe I would have a very difficult time keeping a straight face. Can they arrest us for that?

Nah, I will protect you. The bailiffs are all pretty good guys. They will be laughing too.

bluebutton · Post by **bluebutton** » July 13th, 2012, 3:46 pm

OZZIE4DUKE wrote:
bluebutton wrote:Our anniversary is in a month and my husband and I were trying to decide how to celebrate.

The two current options are to go to a local chocolate truffle shop or gun range--we've never gone to either. I'm kind of hoping for both, but he likes to surprise me. So we'll see.
Well, if he doesn't take you to the truffle shop you could always shoot him! Maybe not.

For a while we had a monthly to-do list and somehow "sharpen knives" got put in front of "go on a date". So in our family you never know

I've only ever been to a range once and it was fun. I'd love to go with him some time anniversary or not.

CathyCA · Post by **CathyCA** » July 13th, 2012, 3:51 pm

OZZIE4DUKE wrote:Happy Friday the 13th! Today is a "Free Roo Day!" Free refills! If you didn't register to get the text messages, do so!

I've been drinking free roo-fills all day.

devildeac · Post by **devildeac** » July 13th, 2012, 11:18 pm

OZZIE4DUKE wrote:Happy Friday the 13th! Today is a "Free Roo Day!" Free refills! If you didn't register to get the text messages, do so!

Two for me today! Thanks for the 'Roo Cup!