Have you ever been punched in the face?

Miles · Post by **Miles** » July 28th, 2010, 8:50 am

I took a shot to the face in middle school. This kid Patrick just had it in for me. One day at lunch he was sitting behind me and someone kicked my chair into his, which was enough cause for him call me a few vulgar names. I said something smart back to him and next thing I knew I was throwing punches. I didn't even know I had been punched until after the fight stopped. Then the pain set in and I realized that I took jab to the nose. It sucked.

A year later I got sucker punched on the tennis courts and while standing there in shock almost took a roundhouse kick to the jaw but saw it at the last second and took it on the shoulder instead.

I did not like either experience, which is about the same way I feel about punching someone in the face.

EarlJam · Post by **EarlJam** » July 28th, 2010, 8:57 am

Miles wrote:
A year later I got sucker punched on the tennis courts and while standing there in shock almost took a roundhouse kick to the jaw but saw it at the last second and took it on the shoulder instead.

A fight on the tennis courts? Seriously? No offense intended, as I'm sure the experience sucked, but I have ALWAYS thought it would be funny to see two guys playing tennis suddenly start beating the hell out of each other. Not exactly how one views tennis, you know?

-EarlJam

Johnboy · Post by **Johnboy** » July 28th, 2010, 9:00 am

I was sucker punched in the throat when I was in 6th grade, and that's the last time anyone punched me in anger that I can remember. My sons play punch buggy all the time. I will NEVER buy a Volkswagen. ;)

bjornolf · Post by **bjornolf** » July 28th, 2010, 9:03 am

EarlJam wrote:
Miles wrote:
A year later I got sucker punched on the tennis courts and while standing there in shock almost took a roundhouse kick to the jaw but saw it at the last second and took it on the shoulder instead.

A fight on the tennis courts? Seriously? No offense intended, as I'm sure the experience sucked, but I have ALWAYS thought it would be funny to see two guys playing tennis suddenly start beating the hell out of each other. Not exactly how one views tennis, you know?

-EarlJam

I took an overhand smash to the

while playing tennis in high school. It's not the face, but I promise you it hurt like you know what.

mph · Post by **mph** » July 28th, 2010, 9:42 am

I've been punched in the face twice, the last time in a Burger King

in Winston-Salem when I was 17. I and the offender had just returned from an away baseball game where the jackass in question had been picking on my 9th grade brother (also on the varsity baseball team) the entire bus ride back. After ordering and receiving my food, I left my tray sitting at a table while I went to back to the counter. When I came back, jackass had covered all of my food in ketchup.

I promptly opened the bottom of a salt shaker, walked over to the table where he was sitting, and dumped the contents onto his whopper, at which point he rose from his seat and punched me in the mouth in one fluid motion.

Fortunately for me, he ducked in anticipation of a punch I was too stunned to throw.

I managed to put him in a headlock and threw wild punches in the general direction of his face until a fellow BK patron came over to separate the fight. To this day I don't how many of my punches landed, but judging by his face the following Monday morning, I'd say the answer was almost none to none. However, jackass did leave my brother alone.

captmojo · Post by **captmojo** » July 28th, 2010, 10:19 am

I'm sorry but the mere thought of full contact tennis is too much!

DukieInKansas · Post by **DukieInKansas** » July 28th, 2010, 1:07 pm

ArkieDukie wrote:
TillyGalore wrote:No, but I had a roommate in college slap me across the face. Bitch!
How dare she slap my Shin Kickin' CTN Soul Sister! Sending her pointy-toed shin kicks and stiletto heel toe stomps!

I'm sending them, also! How dare she do such a thing.

bjornolf · Post by **bjornolf** » July 28th, 2010, 1:08 pm

captmojo wrote:I'm sorry but the mere thought of full contact tennis is too much!

Didn't they do a commercial of that a few years ago where a guy went to hit a tennis ball and five guys in football pads decked him? Or maybe that was golf.

bjornolf · Post by **bjornolf** » July 28th, 2010, 1:11 pm

Yea, it was golf, not tennis:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NA97kzai-Ew

OZZIE4DUKE · Post by **OZZIE4DUKE** » July 28th, 2010, 2:52 pm

bjornolf wrote:Yea, it was golf, not tennis:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NA97kzai-Ew

Isn't that the way everyone plays golf?

OZZIE4DUKE · Post by **OZZIE4DUKE** » July 28th, 2010, 3:01 pm

I recall my first time with a condom, I was 15 or so.
I went in to buy a packet of condoms at the local pharmacy.

There was this beautiful woman assistant behind the counter,
and she could see that I was new at it. She handed me the package
and asked if I knew how to wear one.
I honestly answered,'No, this is my first time.'

So she unwrapped the package, took one out and slipped it over
her thumb She cautioned me to make sure it was on tight and secure.

I apparently still looked confused. So, she looked all around the store
to see if it was empty. It was empty. 'Just a minute,' she said,
and walked to the door, and locked it.

Taking my hand, she led me into the back room, unbuttoned her blouse
and removed it. She unhooked her bra and laid it aside.
'Do these excite you?' She asked, holding her breasts up for me to see.

Well, I was so dumb-struck that all I could do was nod my head.

She then said it was time to slip the condom on. As I was slipping it on,
she dropped her skirt, removed her panties and lay down on a desk.
'Well, come on', she said, 'We don't have much time..'

So I climbed on her. It was so wonderful, that unfortunately, I could no
longer hold back and I was done within a few moments.

She looked at me with a bit of a frown. 'Did you put that condom on?' she asked.

'I sure did,' I said, and held up my thumb to show her.

It was then that she beat the shit out of me.......

Or should this have gone in the Joke thread?

devildeac · Post by **devildeac** » July 28th, 2010, 3:07 pm

OZZIE4DUKE wrote:I recall my first time with a condom, I was 15 or so.
I went in to buy a packet of condoms at the local pharmacy.

There was this beautiful woman assistant behind the counter,
and she could see that I was new at it. She handed me the package
and asked if I knew how to wear one.
I honestly answered,'No, this is my first time.'

So she unwrapped the package, took one out and slipped it over
her thumb She cautioned me to make sure it was on tight and secure.

I apparently still looked confused. So, she looked all around the store
to see if it was empty. It was empty. 'Just a minute,' she said,
and walked to the door, and locked it.

Taking my hand, she led me into the back room, unbuttoned her blouse
and removed it. She unhooked her bra and laid it aside.
'Do these excite you?' She asked, holding her breasts up for me to see.

Well, I was so dumb-struck that all I could do was nod my head.

She then said it was time to slip the condom on. As I was slipping it on,
she dropped her skirt, removed her panties and lay down on a desk.
'Well, come on', she said, 'We don't have much time..'

So I climbed on her. It was so wonderful, that unfortunately, I could no
longer hold back and I was done within a few moments.

She looked at me with a bit of a frown. 'Did you put that condom on?' she asked.

'I sure did,' I said, and held up my thumb to show her.

It was then that she beat the shit out of me.......

Or should this have gone in the Joke thread?

Wrong thread.

But

devildeac · Post by **devildeac** » July 28th, 2010, 3:11 pm

CameronBornAndBred · Post by **CameronBornAndBred** » July 28th, 2010, 3:35 pm

OZZIE4DUKE wrote:
It was then that she beat the shit out of me.......

Or should this have gone in the Joke thread?

captmojo · Post by **captmojo** » July 28th, 2010, 4:31 pm

Good enough for any thread.

DukieInKansas · Post by **DukieInKansas** » July 28th, 2010, 5:56 pm

CameronBornAndBred wrote:
OZZIE4DUKE wrote:
It was then that she beat the shit out of me.......

Or should this have gone in the Joke thread?

Does it say something about me that I saw the punchline coming?

Miles · Post by **Miles** » July 28th, 2010, 7:56 pm

EarlJam wrote:
Miles wrote:
A year later I got sucker punched on the tennis courts and while standing there in shock almost took a roundhouse kick to the jaw but saw it at the last second and took it on the shoulder instead.

A fight on the tennis courts? Seriously? No offense intended, as I'm sure the experience sucked, but I have ALWAYS thought it would be funny to see two guys playing tennis suddenly start beating the hell out of each other. Not exactly how one views tennis, you know?

-EarlJam

Yeah I should've elaborated. The tennis courts were where we waited before the opening bell rang at school. So it wasn't over a tennis match.

If I recall correctly, Ralph did not play tennis. He did wear an awful amount of camouflage to school.

Ima Facultiwyfe · Post by **Ima Facultiwyfe** » July 28th, 2010, 8:09 pm

When I was in third grade, there was this big bully of a girl, nearly twice my height, who used to delight in switching my legs with a long twig on the way home from school every day. I'd run and cry all the way home. Finally, one day in front of Rink's Grocery I'd had all I could take. I turned around and actually climbed up her and hung on until she fell backwards. The last thing I can remember was Mr. Rink running out and pulling me off of her as I was pounding her head on the concrete! Nobody every messed with me again! Even the Old Professor is still scared of me!
Love, Ima

PS And you thought I was just Native's sweet old grandmother!

CameronBornAndBred · Post by **CameronBornAndBred** » July 28th, 2010, 8:28 pm

Ima Facultiwyfe wrote:PS And you thought I was just Native's sweet old grandmother!

captmojo · Post by **captmojo** » July 28th, 2010, 9:00 pm

Ima Facultiwyfe wrote: The last thing I can remember was Mr. Rink running out and pulling me off of her as I was pounding her head on the concrete!

"Ralphiee!"

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