LTE 2.0

[Very Duke Blue]

WRAL just put Madison's snow picture in their newscast! She's a star! VDB - did you see it?
http://www.wral.com/golo/image/8798480/ ... %2C1265722

I did. She's a pretty little girl. I have no idea who she is.

[Very Duke Blue]

I'm putting Christian on the plane to California this afternoon. My house will be so quiet over the next two weeks with no kids here.

Hugs to you.

[DevilAlumna]

I'm putting Christian on the plane to California this afternoon. My house will be so quiet over the next two weeks with no kids here.

Thinking of you today, Cathy.

Hope you've got some good plans to keep you otherwise occupied?

[CathyCA]

I'm putting Christian on the plane to California this afternoon. My house will be so quiet over the next two weeks with no kids here.

Thinking of you today, Cathy.

Hope you've got some good plans to keep you otherwise occupied?

Thank you, DA. I'm trying to stay busy. I do have plans for the week--some very good , others not so good (more dental work!).

[ArkieDukie]

For those of you who have been though a divorce, is it normal to just randomly show up places where you know your ex is going to be? My ex-SIL decided to go to the church Christmas program last night that my brother was in. It really upset him; he left very quickly after it was over so he wouldn't have to talk to her (she can't be civil to him, so he avoids her). Yes, they may have both gone to church there, but he's been a member longer - she joined after they were married and hasn't been there since she decided she wanted to divorce my brother. She's reached the point of being vindictive just for the sake of being vindictive IMO. Her behavior seems totally out of character; before all of this went down I thought she was a nice person who wouldn't hurt a flea. Now she's being mean just for the sake of being mean. Given her current behavior patterns, I'm afraid that she'll show up on Christmas Eve to the service that my family goes to (a different church; it's the one I grew up in). Trust me when I say that would NOT be a pretty scene.

[CathyCA]

For those of you who have been though a divorce, is it normal to just randomly show up places where you know your ex is going to be? My ex-SIL decided to go to the church Christmas program last night that my brother was in. It really upset him; he left very quickly after it was over so he wouldn't have to talk to her (she can't be civil to him, so he avoids her). Yes, they may have both gone to church there, but he's been a member longer - she joined after they were married and hasn't been there since she decided she wanted to divorce my brother. She's reached the point of being vindictive just for the sake of being vindictive IMO. Her behavior seems totally out of character; before all of this went down I thought she was a nice person who wouldn't hurt a flea. Now she's being mean just for the sake of being mean. Given her current behavior patterns, I'm afraid that she'll show up on Christmas Eve to the service that my family goes to (a different church; it's the one I grew up in). Trust me when I say that would NOT be a pretty scene.

Believe it or not, ExLax really didn't bother me after he announced that he wanted a divorce. His family didn't interfere (they never have), and I told my family not to communicate with him through any means. He didn't stalk me, nor did I stalk him. Of course, I took every opportunity to tell everyone who would listen what he had done to me, and he had no defense. I haven't spoken to any of his family since before the separation, and the only time he's spoken to my mom was when we were in town for Sam's graduation, and boy was THAT awkward because ExLax brought BimbHo to a family event.

I think that the best thing for family members to do is to back off during a divorce. That's why I told my family not to communicate with ExLax. It made it so much easier for me to negotiate the terms of my settlement without all of the sniping going on in the background.

[ArkieDukie]

For those of you who have been though a divorce, is it normal to just randomly show up places where you know your ex is going to be? My ex-SIL decided to go to the church Christmas program last night that my brother was in. It really upset him; he left very quickly after it was over so he wouldn't have to talk to her (she can't be civil to him, so he avoids her). Yes, they may have both gone to church there, but he's been a member longer - she joined after they were married and hasn't been there since she decided she wanted to divorce my brother. She's reached the point of being vindictive just for the sake of being vindictive IMO. Her behavior seems totally out of character; before all of this went down I thought she was a nice person who wouldn't hurt a flea. Now she's being mean just for the sake of being mean. Given her current behavior patterns, I'm afraid that she'll show up on Christmas Eve to the service that my family goes to (a different church; it's the one I grew up in). Trust me when I say that would NOT be a pretty scene.

Believe it or not, ExLax really didn't bother me after he announced that he wanted a divorce. His family didn't interfere (they never have), and I told my family not to communicate with him through any means. He didn't stalk me, nor did I stalk him. Of course, I took every opportunity to tell everyone who would listen what he had done to me, and he had no defense. I haven't spoken to any of his family since before the separation, and the only time he's spoken to my mom was when we were in town for Sam's graduation, and boy was THAT awkward because ExLax brought BimbHo to a family event.

I think that the best thing for family members to do is to back off during a divorce. That's why I told my family not to communicate with ExLax. It made it so much easier for me to negotiate the terms of my settlement without all of the sniping going on in the background.

Thanks for your insights, Cathy. I knew I could count on you for rational advice. Although it may not sound like it, I'm trying my best to stay out of it, as are the rest of my family members. The only interactions with her have been ones that she has instigated. She seriously needs the help of a professional, and I do not say that lightly.

[lawgrad91]

For those of you who have been though a divorce, is it normal to just randomly show up places where you know your ex is going to be? My ex-SIL decided to go to the church Christmas program last night that my brother was in. It really upset him; he left very quickly after it was over so he wouldn't have to talk to her (she can't be civil to him, so he avoids her). Yes, they may have both gone to church there, but he's been a member longer - she joined after they were married and hasn't been there since she decided she wanted to divorce my brother. She's reached the point of being vindictive just for the sake of being vindictive IMO. Her behavior seems totally out of character; before all of this went down I thought she was a nice person who wouldn't hurt a flea. Now she's being mean just for the sake of being mean. Given her current behavior patterns, I'm afraid that she'll show up on Christmas Eve to the service that my family goes to (a different church; it's the one I grew up in). Trust me when I say that would NOT be a pretty scene.

It's really strange for a person to show up randomly where an ex would be, especially if the one who keeps showing up, is the one who left.

Has she made any threats to your brother such that he could get an order of protection against her? I know it's just a piece of paper, but it can be useful, and it could keep her away from your church service on Christmas Eve. Your brother should probably warn the church leadership that there has been a divorce and that he is concerned she might show up and make a scene (and not a nativity scene, either).

Oedipus called my Mom (!) when his brother dropped dead of a heart attack earlier this year. He emailed me before the unc games last year, to wish us luck. Otherwise, I have seen him once since I got married. He did drop by the office one day but fortunately I wasn't there and the secretary sneaked down the hall and told me to stay away.

[ArkieDukie]

For those of you who have been though a divorce, is it normal to just randomly show up places where you know your ex is going to be? My ex-SIL decided to go to the church Christmas program last night that my brother was in. It really upset him; he left very quickly after it was over so he wouldn't have to talk to her (she can't be civil to him, so he avoids her). Yes, they may have both gone to church there, but he's been a member longer - she joined after they were married and hasn't been there since she decided she wanted to divorce my brother. She's reached the point of being vindictive just for the sake of being vindictive IMO. Her behavior seems totally out of character; before all of this went down I thought she was a nice person who wouldn't hurt a flea. Now she's being mean just for the sake of being mean. Given her current behavior patterns, I'm afraid that she'll show up on Christmas Eve to the service that my family goes to (a different church; it's the one I grew up in). Trust me when I say that would NOT be a pretty scene.

It's really strange for a person to show up randomly where an ex would be, especially if the one who keeps showing up, is the one who left.

Has she made any threats to your brother such that he could get an order of protection against her? I know it's just a piece of paper, but it can be useful, and it could keep her away from your church service on Christmas Eve. Your brother should probably warn the church leadership that there has been a divorce and that he is concerned she might show up and make a scene (and not a nativity scene, either).

Oedipus called my Mom (!) when his brother dropped dead of a heart attack earlier this year. He emailed me before the unc games last year, to wish us luck. Otherwise, I have seen him once since I got married. He did drop by the office one day but fortunately I wasn't there and the secretary sneaked down the hall and told me to stay away.

Nothing threatening that I know of. The church leadership is aware of the situation as they are the ones who have provided pastoral counseling for my brother. Minister's wife at his church is friends with his now ex-wife, and anything my bro said would make it back to the ex through the minister's wife. Also a complicating factor: the ex-SIL's family is old family friends. I've known my ex-SIL for as long as I can remember. We went to Bible School together as kids. My dad and her mom grew up together. (Welcome to Peyton Place)

After thinking about Cathy's comments, I have a new theory about what her problem is. She told my brother that she wanted to divorce him and keep his family. She thought we'd take her side. That hasn't happened. Her family, on the other hand, is quite upset with her. They love my brother, and the feeling is mutual. Her family has helped move her stuff out of my brother's house, and they've been very nice to him. Nice enough, by all accounts, to really tick her off. Her most recent appearance at my brother's church program came after her parents brought my brother the gift of a recliner so he'd have a chair in the living room (guess who took the rest). What are the odds that this is her way of showing her displeasure?

[CathyCA]

For those of you who have been though a divorce, is it normal to just randomly show up places where you know your ex is going to be? My ex-SIL decided to go to the church Christmas program last night that my brother was in. It really upset him; he left very quickly after it was over so he wouldn't have to talk to her (she can't be civil to him, so he avoids her). Yes, they may have both gone to church there, but he's been a member longer - she joined after they were married and hasn't been there since she decided she wanted to divorce my brother. She's reached the point of being vindictive just for the sake of being vindictive IMO. Her behavior seems totally out of character; before all of this went down I thought she was a nice person who wouldn't hurt a flea. Now she's being mean just for the sake of being mean. Given her current behavior patterns, I'm afraid that she'll show up on Christmas Eve to the service that my family goes to (a different church; it's the one I grew up in). Trust me when I say that would NOT be a pretty scene.

It's really strange for a person to show up randomly where an ex would be, especially if the one who keeps showing up, is the one who left.

Has she made any threats to your brother such that he could get an order of protection against her? I know it's just a piece of paper, but it can be useful, and it could keep her away from your church service on Christmas Eve. Your brother should probably warn the church leadership that there has been a divorce and that he is concerned she might show up and make a scene (and not a nativity scene, either).

Oedipus called my Mom (!) when his brother dropped dead of a heart attack earlier this year. He emailed me before the unc games last year, to wish us luck. Otherwise, I have seen him once since I got married. He did drop by the office one day but fortunately I wasn't there and the secretary sneaked down the hall and told me to stay away.

Nothing threatening that I know of. The church leadership is aware of the situation as they are the ones who have provided pastoral counseling for my brother. Minister's wife at his church is friends with his now ex-wife, and anything my bro said would make it back to the ex through the minister's wife. Also a complicating factor: the ex-SIL's family is old family friends. I've known my ex-SIL for as long as I can remember. We went to Bible School together as kids. My dad and her mom grew up together. (Welcome to Peyton Place)

After thinking about Cathy's comments, I have a new theory about what her problem is. She told my brother that she wanted to divorce him and keep his family. She thought we'd take her side. That hasn't happened. Her family, on the other hand, is quite upset with her. They love my brother, and the feeling is mutual. Her family has helped move her stuff out of my brother's house, and they've been very nice to him. Nice enough, by all accounts, to really tick her off. Her most recent appearance at my brother's church program came after her parents brought my brother the gift of a recliner so he'd have a chair in the living room (guess who took the rest). What are the odds that this is her way of showing her displeasure?

Even in the best of circumstances, there is no "amicable divorce." Divorce is one of the most stressful events that couples can endure. Your SIL may be reacting to the stress by taking out her emotions and feelings on others. I'm not an expert in mental health, but there are days in my law practice that I wish I could prescribe psychotropic drugs to my clients.

[CathyCA]

Today is my wedding anniversary.

[CathyCA]

Today is also the day my dad died 9 years ago.

[CathyCA]

I've gotten through most of the day without crying.

[devildeac]

Today is my wedding anniversary.

When the sadness invades your thoughts, think of the children and some of the other good memories.

[devildeac]

Today is also the day my dad died 9 years ago.

This is also sad, but the pleasant memories hopefully far outweigh any of the pain of his passing. This feeling I know and most folks here realize that my/our family memories of my Dad are overwhelmingly positive and happy.

[OZZIE4DUKE]

Hugs and vibes to Cathy.

[devildeac]

I've gotten through most of the day without crying.

Sometimes that strength is good. I'd go ahead and let a few tears flow. You really might feel better.

[Very Duke Blue]

Today is also the day my dad died 9 years ago.

This is also sad, but the pleasant memories hopefully far outweigh any of the pain of his passing. This feeling I know and most folks here realize that my/our family memories of my Dad are overwhelmingly positive and happy.

What DD said is so true. My memories of my parents have not faded. I still, after all these years, think of them often. I feel fortunate to have had them for as long as I did, which was not long enough.

[CathyCA]

Today is my wedding anniversary.

When the sadness invades your thoughts, think of the children and some of the other good memories.

The kids are in California with ExLax today. I'm really trying to be positive. Both boys have called me today. They are so sweet and caring.

[CathyCA]

Today is also the day my dad died 9 years ago.

This is also sad, but the pleasant memories hopefully far outweigh any of the pain of his passing. This feeling I know and most folks here realize that my/our family memories of my Dad are overwhelmingly positive and happy.

I had such a wonderful dad. I have so many lovely memories of him. I wish he'd lived longer to see his grandchildren grow up. And selfishly, I wish he were here because there are so many times I need to ask him questions--I KNOW he knows the answers--and he's not here. . .