Car Emergency Trunk Release Handle
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- EarlJam
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Car Emergency Trunk Release Handle
Okay y'all. First of all, this is real. Cars really have this feature. Secondly, am I, EarlJam, the only one that finds this fucking HILARIOUS!? The graphic, illustrating how to use the handle, suggests, "Pull handle, jump out of trunk, run for your life!"
Really?
-EarlJam
Really?
-EarlJam
Last edited by EarlJam on July 23rd, 2010, 8:51 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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- EarlJam
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Re: Car Emergency Trunk Release Handle
I mean, how does a car salesman sell this feature?
"Oh, and you're gonna LOVE this! If, for some reason, you get abducted and stuffed in your trunk, this feature allows you to escape before they reach the bridge over the river!"
"But what if I'm hog-tied while in my trunk? How do I pull the handle then?"
"We'll, it's glow-in-the-dark, as most abductions and kidnappings happen long after sunset; so even if hog-tied, you could still see it and perhaps use your teeth."
"But we'd likely be moving. If the car stopped, and I jumped out while partially hog-tied, how in the world could I run away?"
"Ma'am, it probably won't happen anyway. I don't want this feature to make or break your decision. But at least this would allow you to die a more dignified death. It would give you a chance, you know? But the real beauty of this car is its leather seats. Come, let me show you."
-EarlJam
"Oh, and you're gonna LOVE this! If, for some reason, you get abducted and stuffed in your trunk, this feature allows you to escape before they reach the bridge over the river!"
"But what if I'm hog-tied while in my trunk? How do I pull the handle then?"
"We'll, it's glow-in-the-dark, as most abductions and kidnappings happen long after sunset; so even if hog-tied, you could still see it and perhaps use your teeth."
"But we'd likely be moving. If the car stopped, and I jumped out while partially hog-tied, how in the world could I run away?"
"Ma'am, it probably won't happen anyway. I don't want this feature to make or break your decision. But at least this would allow you to die a more dignified death. It would give you a chance, you know? But the real beauty of this car is its leather seats. Come, let me show you."
-EarlJam
Your mama wears combat boots to bed.
- CameronBornAndBred
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Re: Car Emergency Trunk Release Handle
EarlJam wrote:Okay y'all. First of all, this is real. Cars really have this feature. Secondly, am I, EarlJam, the only one that finds this fucking HILARIOUS!? The graphic, illustrating how to use the handle, suggests, "Pull handle, jump out of trunk, run for your life!"
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- CameronBornAndBred
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Re: Car Emergency Trunk Release Handle
Back in the trunk!EarlJam wrote:.........
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- windsor
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Re: Car Emergency Trunk Release Handle
Seriously...they studied these. It is mostly for kids who get locked in the trunk (by a loving sibling no doubt). They originally made the handle red...but kids wouldn't pull it - 'red' meant danger to them not 'rescue'. They settled for a neon green/yellow with the graphics.
Parents...lock one of your kids in the trunk and see if your handle works....
Parents...lock one of your kids in the trunk and see if your handle works....
All that is gold does not glitter, not all those who wander are lost; the old that is strong does not wither, deep roots are not reached by the frost.
- CameronBornAndBred
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Re: Car Emergency Trunk Release Handle
How do you read the sign in the dark? How do you know what color the handle is?windsor wrote:Seriously...they studied these. It is mostly for kids who get locked in the trunk (by a loving sibling no doubt). They originally made the handle red...but kids wouldn't pull it - 'red' meant danger to them not 'rescue'. They settled for a neon green/yellow with the graphics.
Parents...lock one of your kids in the trunk and see if your handle works....
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- EarlJam
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Re: Car Emergency Trunk Release Handle
Yes, I understand this, but I STILL find it funny as hell that the "dude" is RUNNING from the trunk. He's running!windsor wrote:Seriously...they studied these. It is mostly for kids who get locked in the trunk (by a loving sibling no doubt). They originally made the handle red...but kids wouldn't pull it - 'red' meant danger to them not 'rescue'. They settled for a neon green/yellow with the graphics.
Parents...lock one of your kids in the trunk and see if your handle works....
It just screams, "HELP ME!"
-EarlJam
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- Miles
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Re: Car Emergency Trunk Release Handle
I think he is running from one of three mighty dragons.
sMiles
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Re: Car Emergency Trunk Release Handle
OMG!! I SO REMEMBER THAT GAME!! My neighbor across the street had it, we played it for hours.Miles wrote:I think he is running from one of three mighty dragons.
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- DevilAlumna
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Re: Car Emergency Trunk Release Handle
ZOMG, me too! It was one of the very first games at which I totally sucked! (Pitfall being the VERY first.)CameronBornAndBred wrote:OMG!! I SO REMEMBER THAT GAME!! My neighbor across the street had it, we played it for hours.Miles wrote:I think he is running from one of three mighty dragons.
- CameronBornAndBred
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Re: Car Emergency Trunk Release Handle
Someone needs to turn Emergency Trunk Release Handle into a game. EJ already has the storyline layed out.DevilAlumna wrote:ZOMG, me too! It was one of the very first games at which I totally sucked! (Pitfall being the VERY first.)CameronBornAndBred wrote:OMG!! I SO REMEMBER THAT GAME!! My neighbor across the street had it, we played it for hours.Miles wrote:I think he is running from one of three mighty dragons.
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Re: Car Emergency Trunk Release Handle
If you read a modern summary of Adventure's gameplay and objective, it sounds pretty simply and fun. I just don't remember it that way. I had a buddy that loved to play this game, I would cringe whenever he took it out. "Can't we play Pole Position or Yar's Revenge??DevilAlumna wrote:ZOMG, me too! It was one of the very first games at which I totally sucked! (Pitfall being the VERY first.)CameronBornAndBred wrote:OMG!! I SO REMEMBER THAT GAME!! My neighbor across the street had it, we played it for hours.Miles wrote:I think he is running from one of three mighty dragons.
sMiles
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Re: Car Emergency Trunk Release Handle
Yar's Revenge was cool too! It's even better now, because it sounds piratey. Yarrrrrrrr-gh.Miles wrote:If you read a modern summary of Adventure's gameplay and objective, it sounds pretty simply and fun. I just don't remember it that way. I had a buddy that loved to play this game, I would cringe whenever he took it out. "Can't we play Pole Position or Yar's Revenge??DevilAlumna wrote:ZOMG, me too! It was one of the very first games at which I totally sucked! (Pitfall being the VERY first.)CameronBornAndBred wrote: OMG!! I SO REMEMBER THAT GAME!! My neighbor across the street had it, we played it for hours.
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- windsor
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Re: Car Emergency Trunk Release Handle
CameronBornAndBred wrote:How do you read the sign in the dark? How do you know what color the handle is?windsor wrote:Seriously...they studied these. It is mostly for kids who get locked in the trunk (by a loving sibling no doubt). They originally made the handle red...but kids wouldn't pull it - 'red' meant danger to them not 'rescue'. They settled for a neon green/yellow with the graphics.
Parents...lock one of your kids in the trunk and see if your handle works....
The handle glows in the dark. At least it SHOULD glow in the dark.
All that is gold does not glitter, not all those who wander are lost; the old that is strong does not wither, deep roots are not reached by the frost.
- windsor
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Re: Car Emergency Trunk Release Handle
DevilAlumna wrote:ZOMG, me too! It was one of the very first games at which I totally sucked! (Pitfall being the VERY first.)CameronBornAndBred wrote:OMG!! I SO REMEMBER THAT GAME!! My neighbor across the street had it, we played it for hours.Miles wrote:I think he is running from one of three mighty dragons.
Adventure games? You guys are n00bs. XYZZY. That's all I'm saying.
All that is gold does not glitter, not all those who wander are lost; the old that is strong does not wither, deep roots are not reached by the frost.