LTE 2.0

[colchar]

reach a point early in the boil where they come bubbling over in an explosive event.

There is a premature ejaculation joke in here somewhere...

Only if you are an endowed professor

He's still an Assistant Professor so maybe it's his job to assist the endowed professor as he gets to that boiling point?

Alright, I'm officially leaving this conversation before I cross any more lines...

[CathyCA]

Praying Mantis' are cool. There is a juvenile one outside by my porch light. He's watching me brew beer.
Also, my water is about to break.

I hate it when that happens because it means that you've gotta get stuck with an IV in the next hour or so.

I would think that the IV would be the least of your worries at that point...

Nah, the initial IV stick is the worst. After you've got that going, the doctor can administer the Nubain through the IV. Then, you can progress to an epidural to manage the pain.

My obstetricians were the BEST!

[Rolvix]

Nah, the initial IV stick is the worst.

Especially if they miss! :roll: :lol:

[Bostondevil]

I don't know, waiting for the anesthesiologist to get that needle into your spinal column between contractions can be an adventure. Especially when your husband keeps making you laugh while the resident is trying to do it.

Actually conversation during BD's second labor (or was it the third?).

Anesthesiologist is rubbing BD's back with alcohol or betadyne, something like that

BD: Is everything all right?
Anesthesiologist: Oh yes, everything's fine, you have a great anatomy.
Mr. BD: That's why I married her!
Anesthesiologist (mortified): Oh no, that's not what I meant.
BD (laughing): Stop it! He's trying to stick a needle in my spine!

I then had to reassure the poor resident that I in no way took offense at him noticing my great anatomy. But we got it done.

[CathyCA]

Nah, the initial IV stick is the worst.

Especially if they miss! :roll: :lol:

You're not kidding. It took 3 different nurses to get the IV started with the birth of my first kid. And each nurse got two tries at getting the IV inserted in my arm.

[CathyCA]

I don't know, waiting for the anesthesiologist to get that needle into your spinal column between contractions can be an adventure. Especially when your husband keeps making you laugh while the resident is trying to do it.

Actually conversation during BD's second labor (or was it the third?).

Anesthesiologist is rubbing BD's back with alcohol or betadyne, something like that

BD: Is everything all right?
Anesthesiologist: Oh yes, everything's fine, you have a great anatomy.
Mr. BD: That's why I married her!
Anesthesiologist (mortified): Oh no, that's not what I meant.
BD (laughing): Stop it! He's trying to stick a needle in my spine!

I then had to reassure the poor resident that I in no way took offense at him noticing my great anatomy. But we got it done.

The epidural IS a funny procedure.

OB: Roll over on your side and curl your back into the shape of a C

Me: I can't. I'm 9 months pregnant.

OB: Try.

Me: Who does this to YOU when you're having a baby?

OB: Breaks into hilarious laughter.

[captmojo]

You're not kidding. It took 3 different nurses to get the IV started with the birth of my first kid. And each nurse got two tries at getting the IV inserted in my arm.

...and then, before the epidural, were you like the First Mate, threatening to hurl the IV bottle at the nurse?

[windsor]

You're not kidding. It took 3 different nurses to get the IV started with the birth of my first kid. And each nurse got two tries at getting the IV inserted in my arm.

...and then, before the epidural, were you like the First Mate, threatening to hurl the IV bottle at the nurse?

Windsor did not have an epidural...or any other drugs (not by choice)

she did, as has been previously reported, threaten to emasculate the OB/GYN...

[devildeac]

I don't know, waiting for the anesthesiologist to get that needle into your spinal column between contractions can be an adventure. Especially when your husband keeps making you laugh while the resident is trying to do it.

Actually conversation during BD's second labor (or was it the third?).

Anesthesiologist is rubbing BD's back with alcohol or betadyne, something like that

BD: Is everything all right?
Anesthesiologist: Oh yes, everything's fine, you have a great anatomy.
Mr. BD: That's why I married her!
Anesthesiologist (mortified): Oh no, that's not what I meant.
BD (laughing): Stop it! He's trying to stick a needle in my spine!

I then had to reassure the poor resident that I in no way took offense at him noticing my great anatomy. But we got it done.

I enjoy a good medical story like that.

[Bostondevil]

Perhaps you'll like this one. I know this one was second labor. As with my first, my water broke but I didn't then go into labor on my own so I got pitocin. What a hell-born experience that is! Anyway, the nurses were joking with me when I first arrived (Mr. BD was grabbing a quick dinner in the hospital cafeteria, shrimp scampi of all things) about how they refer to the dads as the F-O-B for 'father of baby'. Mr. BD later arrives in the hospital room and by this time the pitocin is kicking in but labor has not been firmly established so I can't have the epidural yet. Oh, the memories. Anyway, I'm lying there doing my best through the contractions and the nurse is explaining to Mr. BD about his bracelet, that it will allow him to come and go plus they will let him take his baby out of the nursery. BD (in between panting breaths): Yeah, we don't want just any F-O-B handling the infants.

I had already shocked this same nurse on arrival. She asked me the usual health history questions (smoking, drinking, etc.) to which I responded, "Nope, my only vice is Coke." She heard it with a small c. She found us highly amusing.

To all CrazieTalkers who are not yet fathers but might become fathers someday, when the mother-of-baby is in labor, do not eat shrimp scampi for dinner. I almost didn't want him in the delivery room after that. When you're 'breathing', you do not want shrimp scampi smell hitting you in the face.

[Bostondevil]

The other piece of advice I have for expectant fathers. When the mother-of-baby's water breaks, don't go out for a jog. I'm just sayin'.

[Bostondevil]

Mr. BD asked me once why I always tell the story of him going out for a run when my water broke with our first baby. My answer? Because you did it.

[devildeac]

I am REALLY glad Mrs. DD does not read/post here for fear of a couple stories she'd tell on/about me... :oops: :oops:

[CameronBornAndBred]

I am REALLY glad Mrs. DD does not read/post here for fear of a couple stories she'd tell on/about me... :oops: :oops:

We need to get ILJ to work on her.

[ArkieDukie]

I am VERY tired. Spent the day rearranging my living room. Didn't like it initially, so tried flipping the LR and DR. Liked it even less and moved the furniture back. Ordered Papa John's for supper - too tired to cook.

[CameronBornAndBred]

I am VERY tired. Spent the day rearranging my living room. Didn't like it initially, so tried flipping the LR and DR. Liked it even less and moved the furniture back. Ordered Papa John's for supper - too tired to cook.

Congratulations on taking all day to make everything look like it did this morning.

[captmojo]

Matey had kept my up for two nights in a row just before labor, with false alarms. That made it a lovely and memorable experience. About 45 minutes before delivery, I left the waiting room and walked down the hall to the men's room. I took a seat, never even pulled down my pants and twenty minutes later, my brother-in-law was sent there to check on me, due to my long absence. He found me, elbows on my knees, chin(what little I have) resting on my palms, sleeping like the baby coming out was not going to be doing for a while. I didn't know whether to puke or die.
When I first laid eyes on our newborn...all ailments fled like rabbits from a pack of beagles.

[wilson]

I find all of these childbirth stories oddly appealing. They're funny, interesting, totally foreign to me, and quirkily sentimental.

[wilson]

I read three books today. Still a personal best (I just couldn't do the fourth the other day).

[DukeUsul]

The other piece of advice I have for expectant fathers. When the mother-of-baby's water breaks, don't go out for a jog. I'm just sayin'.

Another piece of advice from this F-O-B..... don't take your shoes off to take a nap while your wife is laboring. You never know how fast things will go....flying.... once you wake up.