You can't make this stuff up!

[lawgrad91]

The genius of the week showed up at the Sheriff's Office, under the influence of a non-liquid intoxicant. Told the deputy there that he wanted to work for the Drug Task Force as a CI, buying drugs, and wanted them to provide him with some samples.

[lawgrad91]

The boiler is leaking boiler oil from the fourth floor into the light and the ceiling tile over the Circuit Court Judge's Secretary's office. It has a red additive, and looks like blood dripping from the ceiling.

Maintenance has ordered a new gasket. In the interim, they have attached a water hose to the leaky area and put down hazmat foam for what isn't caught by the water hose and bucket.

It would be a good time to turn the Courthouse into a Halloween Haunted House.

[Phredd3]

The boiler is leaking boiler oil from the fourth floor into the light and the ceiling tile over the Circuit Court Judge's Secretary's office. It has a red additive, and looks like blood dripping from the ceiling.

Maintenance has ordered a new gasket. In the interim, they have attached a water hose to the leaky area and put down hazmat foam for what isn't caught by the water hose and bucket.

It would be a good time to turn the Courthouse into a Halloween Haunted House.

Ah, the joys of public service.

[OPK]

The boiler is leaking boiler oil from the fourth floor into the light and the ceiling tile over the Circuit Court Judge's Secretary's office. It has a red additive, and looks like blood dripping from the ceiling.

Maintenance has ordered a new gasket. In the interim, they have attached a water hose to the leaky area and put down hazmat foam for what isn't caught by the water hose and bucket.

It would be a good time to turn the Courthouse into a Halloween Haunted House.

Sounds like the judge needs to start doing sentencing in chambers. That will get their attention.

[lawgrad91]

Been crazy busy lately. Mom is in town, I've had to do a bunch of things for her, the Rev LG has a man cold, uh, a touch of pneumonia and a pulled side muscle, and our office manager is a moron.

So I haven't had much time to pass along anything from court, like:

1. dude who pleaded not guilty to shoplifting because he hadn't passed all points of sale at Walmart when he was stopped for PUTTING A PACK OF RIBS IN THE FRONT OF HIS PANTS....

2. my favorite defendant exhorting his girlfriend to email a lot of people regarding how he has been railroaded for killing his fiance because he was sleeping with the daughter in law of a prominent family (a family none of us had ever heard of). Among the people he wants on his case is the noted criminal law scholar...KIM KARDASHIAN.

[OPK]

Been crazy busy lately. Mom is in town, I've had to do a bunch of things for her, the Rev LG has a man cold, uh, a touch of pneumonia and a pulled side muscle, and our office manager is a moron.

So I haven't had much time to pass along anything from court, like:

1. dude who pleaded not guilty to shoplifting because he hadn't passed all points of sale at Walmart when he was stopped for PUTTING A PACK OF RIBS IN THE FRONT OF HIS PANTS....

2. my favorite defendant exhorting his girlfriend to email a lot of people regarding how he has been railroaded for killing his fiance because he was sleeping with the daughter in law of a prominent family (a family none of us had ever heard of). Among the people he wants on his case is the noted criminal law scholar...KIM KARDASHIAN.

Mercy, you deserve a good Thanksgiving holiday!

[lawgrad91]

The moron office manager decided we would have Jerry’s Pizza for the Christmas lunch. Didn’t bother to check with Jerry’s and discover they are CLOSED ON TUESDAYS….

[OPK]

The moron office manager decided we would have Jerry’s Pizza for the Christmas lunch. Didn’t bother to check with Jerry’s and discover they are CLOSED ON TUESDAYS….

Scheduling fail.

[Phredd3]

The moron office manager decided we would have Jerry’s Pizza for the Christmas lunch. Didn’t bother to check with Jerry’s and discover they are CLOSED ON TUESDAYS….

Time to call an edible?

[OPK]

The moron office manager decided we would have Jerry’s Pizza for the Christmas lunch. Didn’t bother to check with Jerry’s and discover they are CLOSED ON TUESDAYS….

Time to call an edible?

Different Jerry.

[lawgrad91]

The moron office manager decided we would have Jerry’s Pizza for the Christmas lunch. Didn’t bother to check with Jerry’s and discover they are CLOSED ON TUESDAYS….

Time to call an edible?

I could use one....

The gift exchange had a $20 limit. I brought a $20 gift card. I received...a $15 gift card. I work with total morons.

[Phredd3]

Those last two comments...what a thread!

[lawgrad91]

It’s a family trait. Trey Robinette’s dad was the guy selling drugs to the CI while wearing a shirt with the caption “stupid is as stupid does.”

Apples don’t fall far from the tree, and neither do nuts.

[lawgrad91]

Been crazy busy lately. Mom is in town, I've had to do a bunch of things for her, the Rev LG has a man cold, uh, a touch of pneumonia and a pulled side muscle, and our office manager is a moron.

So I haven't had much time to pass along anything from court, like:

1. dude who pleaded not guilty to shoplifting because he hadn't passed all points of sale at Walmart when he was stopped for PUTTING A PACK OF RIBS IN THE FRONT OF HIS PANTS....

2. my favorite defendant exhorting his girlfriend to email a lot of people regarding how he has been railroaded for killing his fiance because he was sleeping with the daughter in law of a prominent family (a family none of us had ever heard of). Among the people he wants on his case is the noted criminal law scholar...KIM KARDASHIAN.

Update: Dude has asked said girlfriend to start her own X account and DM...Elon Musk and Donald Trump. She has done so. Apparently they haven't reached back out. He is certain Orange Man will be interested because some of fiance's family are...undocumented immigrants.

[lawgrad91]

My favorite stupid defendant story is the guy who was charged with shoplifting a pair of K Swiss, and wore the stolen pair of K Swiss to court. Judge sent him to jail in his socks and told him, “son, a life of crime is not for you.”

He is back in court this afternoon, fifteen years later, on a shoplifting. This time it’s automatic transmission fluid, which he did not wear to court.

[CameronBornAndBred]

My favorite stupid defendant story is the guy who was charged with shoplifting a pair of K Swiss, and wore the stolen pair of K Swiss to court. Judge sent him to jail in his socks and told him, “son, a life of crime is not for you.”

He is back in court this afternoon, fifteen years later, on a shoplifting. This time it’s automatic transmission fluid, which he did not wear to court.

Good to see he's learning from his mistakes.

[lawgrad91]

There's an email in my inbox this morning, imploring me to intervene in his father's case. His dad is being sentenced in March for selling oxy's to an undercover agent. Per Junior, he pleaded guilty to the charges under " 'T.D.C.' threat duress and COHESION."

It's not my case. Dude needs to complain to Jethro or his new Chief Deputy, who isn't me.

[OPK]

There's an email in my inbox this morning, imploring me to intervene in his father's case. His dad is being sentenced in March for selling oxy's to an undercover agent. Per Junior, he pleaded guilty to the charges under " 'T.D.C.' threat duress and COHESION."

It's not my case. Dude needs to complain to Jethro or his new Chief Deputy, who isn't me.

They all gotta stick together, I guess.

[AtlBluRew]

Here’s my favorite, it happened while I was living in nearby Key West. A Florida Keys woman, whose license had been suspended, was driving to meet her boyfriend who was getting out of jail. For some reason, her ex-husband was in the passenger seat. (I guess he’s a really good sport.) She wanted to look her best for her BF so she asked her ex to handle the steering wheel while she worked the gas and brake pedals and used her hands to trim her bush. Because Florida. Anyway, they ran into a vehicle from behind because she didn’t apply the brakes and the ex didn’t steer away, and then they took off. She was booked on hit and run. No report on how successful the trim was.

https://wblk.com/accident-caused-by-wom ... ing-video/

[CameronBornAndBred]

Here’s my favorite, it happened while I was living in nearby Key West. A Florida Keys woman, whose license had been suspended, was driving to meet her boyfriend who was getting out of jail. For some reason, her ex-husband was in the passenger seat. (I guess he’s a really good sport.) She wanted to look her best for her BF so she asked her ex to handle the steering wheel while she worked the gas and brake pedals and used her hands to trim her bush. Because Florida. Anyway, they ran into a vehicle from behind because she didn’t apply the brakes and the ex didn’t steer away, and then they took off. She was booked on hit and run. No report on how successful the trim was.

https://wblk.com/accident-caused-by-wom ... ing-video/