LTE 2.0

[lawgrad91]

So the nurse told me I should take it easy today in case I had any left over effects of anesthesia.

I thought I was fine, until I checked a text message to a lady from church who asked if things went well.

The text was supposed to say "all is fine."

It said, "ass is fine."

She is not noted for her sense of humor. Oh well.

[bjornolf]

That would be perfect for hemorrhoid surgery.

[lawgrad91]

That would be perfect for hemorrhoid surgery.

Colonoscopy. Close....

When George Brett had hemorrhoid surgery, he stated that all his problems were behind him.

[CathyCA]

So the nurse told me I should take it easy today in case I had any left over effects of anesthesia.

I thought I was fine, until I checked a text message to a lady from church who asked if things went well.

The text was supposed to say "all is fine."

It said, "ass is fine."

She is not noted for her sense of humor. Oh well.

[CathyCA]

A year or so ago, one of my civil cases in which I represented the Plaintiff got appealed to the North Carolina Court of Appeals. I had to write a brief (which was anything BUT brief), and then wait for the Court of Appeals to rule. They declined to hear oral argument. In its opinion, the appellate panel remanded the case back down to the trial court.

Today, I got the new order from the trial court. The last line of the order reads in part, "the Defendant's Motion. . . is DENIED."

The attorney on the other side is a friend on FB, so I can't do my happy dance on FB. Please indulge me while I do it here:



I won! I won! I won!

[DukePA]

A year or so ago, one of my civil cases in which I represented the Plaintiff got appealed to the North Carolina Court of Appeals. I had to write a brief (which was anything BUT brief), and then wait for the Court of Appeals to rule. They declined to hear oral argument. In its opinion, the appellate panel remanded the case back down to the trial court.

Today, I got the new order from the trial court. The last line of the order reads in part, "the Defendant's Motion. . . is DENIED."

The attorney on the other side is a friend on FB, so I can't do my happy dance on FB. Please indulge me while I do it here:



I won! I won! I won!

Double high fives!!! Very well done!!!

[lawgrad91]

A year or so ago, one of my civil cases in which I represented the Plaintiff got appealed to the North Carolina Court of Appeals. I had to write a brief (which was anything BUT brief), and then wait for the Court of Appeals to rule. They declined to hear oral argument. In its opinion, the appellate panel remanded the case back down to the trial court.

Today, I got the new order from the trial court. The last line of the order reads in part, "the Defendant's Motion. . . is DENIED."

The attorney on the other side is a friend on FB, so I can't do my happy dance on FB. Please indulge me while I do it here:



I won! I won! I won!

Briefs are usually anything but brief, and enormous pains in the all, um, ass.

Woo hoo!

[devildeac]

So the nurse told me I should take it easy today in case I had any left over effects of anesthesia.

I thought I was fine, until I checked a text message to a lady from church who asked if things went well.

The text was supposed to say "all is fine."

It said, "ass is fine."

She is not noted for her sense of humor. Oh well.

Church-related bloopers you ask?

Well, here ya go:

Due to the Rector’s illness, Wednesday’s healing services will be discontinued until further notice.
Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa, will be speaking tonight at Calvary Methodist. Come hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa.
The Rev. Merriwether spoke briefly, much to the delight of the audience.
On a church bulletin during the minister’s illness: GOD IS GOOD; Dr. Hargreaves is better.
Applications are now being accepted for 2 year-old nursery workers.
The pastor will preach his farewell message, after which the choir will sing, “Break Forth Into Joy.”
If you would like to make a donation, fill out a form, enclose a check, and drip in the collection basket.
Next Sunday Mrs. Vinson will be soloist for the morning service. The pastor will then speak on “It’s a Terrible Experience.”
Don’t miss this Saturday’s exhibit by Christian Martian Arts.
We are grateful for the help of those who cleaned up the grounds around the church building and the rector.
A worm welcome to all who have come today.
Barbara remains in the hospital and needs blood donors for more transfusions. She is also having trouble sleeping and requests tapes of Pastor Nelson’s sermons.
During the absence of our pastor, we enjoyed the rare privilege of hearing a good sermon when J.F. Stubbs supplied our pulpit.
Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
The ushers will come forward and take our ties and offerings.
The rosebud on the altar this morning is to announce the birth of David Alan Belzer, the sin of Reverend and Mrs. Julius Belzer.
The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare’s Hamlet in the church basement on Friday at 7 p.m. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
Don’t let worry kill you off – let the church help.
Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person(s) you want remembered.
Let us join David and Lisa in the celebration of their wedding and bring their happiness to a conclusion.
Helpers are needed! Please sign up on the information sheep.
Diana and Don request your presents at their wedding.
The concert held in Fellowship Hall was a great success. Special thanks are due to the minister’s daughter, who labored the whole evening at the piano, which as usual fell upon her.
The outreach committee has enlisted 25 visitors to make calls on people who are not afflicted with any church.
Low Self-Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 to 8:30p.m. Please use the back door.
The 1991 Spring Council Retreat will be hell May 10 and 11.
The audience is asked to remain seated until the end of the recession.
Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.
22 members were present at the church meeting held at the home of Mrs. Marsha Crutchfield last evening. Mrs. Crutchfield and Mrs. Rankin sang a duet, The Lord Knows Why.
The choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoys sinning to join the choir.
At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be “What is Hell?”. Come early and listen to our choir practice.
The third verse of Blessed Assurance will be sung without musical accomplishment.
The music for today’s service was all composed by George Friedrich Handel in celebration of the 300th anniversary of his birth.
A song fest was hell at the Methodist church Wednesday.
Today’s Sermon: How Much Can a Man Drink? with hymns from a full choir.
Hymn: “I Love Thee My Ford.”
Miss Charlene Mason sang “I will not pass this way again” giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
Women’s Luncheon: Each member bring a sandwich. Polly Phillips will give the medication.
Announcement in the church bulletin for a National PRAYER & FASTING conference: “The cost for attending the Fasting and Prayer conference includes meals.”
The church will host an evening of fine dining, superb entertainment, and gracious hostility.
Ushers will eat latecomers.
Tuesday at 4PM there will be an ice cream social. All ladies giving milk will please come early.
Weight Watchers will meet at 7 p.m. Please use large double door at the side entrance.
Potluck supper: prayer and medication to follow.

Could the Rev. lawgrad use any of those?

[lawgrad91]

I could use some of them, DD.

[Very Duke Blue]

So the nurse told me I should take it easy today in case I had any left over effects of anesthesia.

I thought I was fine, until I checked a text message to a lady from church who asked if things went well.

The text was supposed to say "all is fine."

It said, "ass is fine."

She is not noted for her sense of humor. Oh well.

[Very Duke Blue]

A year or so ago, one of my civil cases in which I represented the Plaintiff got appealed to the North Carolina Court of Appeals. I had to write a brief (which was anything BUT brief), and then wait for the Court of Appeals to rule. They declined to hear oral argument. In its opinion, the appellate panel remanded the case back down to the trial court.

Today, I got the new order from the trial court. The last line of the order reads in part, "the Defendant's Motion. . . is DENIED."

The attorney on the other side is a friend on FB, so I can't do my happy dance on FB. Please indulge me while I do it here:



I won! I won! I won!

Briefs are usually anything but brief, and enormous pains in the all, um, ass.

Woo hoo!

[Very Duke Blue]

DD, that's good.

[bjornolf]

That would be perfect for hemorrhoid surgery.

Colonoscopy. Close....

When George Brett had hemorrhoid surgery, he stated that all his problems were behind him.

Well, then, your message was COMPLETELY asspropriate.

[ArkieDukie]

Update for As the Bunsen Burns

Yesterday I received intel from a pretty reliable source that confirms something I've long suspected: Wile E. Coyote is The Boss' brother-in-law. Specifically, The Boss is married to WEC's sister. If they wanted to keep this under wraps, which they apparently do, WEC shouldn't have hired his wife to work in his lab. She is the original source of the intel. The nepotism knows no bounds. It definitely explains why The Boss believes that lying little weasel and trusts his opinions over all others.

Road Runner, who I now refer to as my Swedish colleague, is still gracing us with her presence. All indications now are that she's planning an eventual return. Something very, very fishy is going on. Here are the facts: 1. she has purchased a house in Sweden and shipped her car over about a year ago, 2. She just paid to have a geothermal heat pump installed in said house, 3. Her first grandchild is due in March; the parents are Swedish, 4. At our big professional society meeting last summer, her daughter was telling everyone that Mommy Dearest was planning to relocate there full-time, sooner rather than later, 5. Multiple sources from one particular company have told us that she was throwing around a great deal of money at said conference, to equip her new lab in Sweden. Now, given all this intel and based on what I've heard, here's what I believe is going on. Her lab in Sweden is funded by the government; the expectation is to generate lots of publications through collaborations. I think job is to round up collaborators from the US, with the promise of free instrument time, using her position here to do that. We are basically paying her to sit in her office and do her job in Sweden - and, in the process, rob the local core lab of much-needed business. Oh, and I almost forgot that she's trying to get Boris to work for her again - IN SWEDEN.

Between these two stories, you can see why I think this institution might possibly be the most ineptly managed place I have ever worked. And that's just the tip of the iceberg. Every time I think I've heard the craziest story yet, I hear something new.

[Very Duke Blue]

Ad, why am I not surprised? Some things you can never do anything to make it better.

[lawgrad91]

AD, this is so bizarre, it could be on the "you can't make this stuff up" thread. It gets more strange every day, it seems.

[ArkieDukie]

I have to admit, confirmation of the familial relationship between The Boss and WEC shifts the stay-or-go needle toward the "get out ASAP" side of the gauge. I'm sending out job apps and being somewhat selective about it. The Boss is every bit as vindictive as RR but has a bit more power. I put myself in the cross-hairs to some extent by working with some folks outside the department to rescue the hot mess that WEC made of a pretty major project. The Boss found out yesterday and was not happy. My spin was that I was helping out WEC by doing something he didn't have time to do. Knowing what I now know, I cannot tell The Boss that WEC and his inept wife managed to f up the experimental design in such a way that the numbers he gave The Boss cannot be trusted. He'd just ask WEC, who will lie and say I'm wrong, and I'll end up on the hot seat. Not worth it. Especially since the department is in a major hole financially, and they're covering a huge chunk of my salary.

[ArkieDukie]

Ad, why am I not surprised? Some things you can never do anything to make it better.

Yep. That's the conclusion I reached yesterday. I came to the realization that I'm fighting a losing battle.

On the bright side, I unknowingly passed this bit of information on to the local branch of the Italian Mafia. They took it as a call to action. One might predict a shitstorm of epic proportions is gathering in the general vicinity of The Boss. He's already in the dog house with the administration because of issues relating to nepotism, and this could prove to be the straw that broke the camel's back. Not sure whether or not that would be good for me, but it would provide some measure of great karmic justice.

[ArkieDukie]

AD, this is so bizarre, it could be on the "you can't make this stuff up" thread. It gets more strange every day, it seems.

Truth. You should be living in the middle of it.

[windsor]

Ad, why am I not surprised? Some things you can never do anything to make it better.

Yep. That's the conclusion I reached yesterday. I came to the realization that I'm fighting a losing battle.

On the bright side, I unknowingly passed this bit of information on to the local branch of the Italian Mafia. They took it as a call to action. One might predict a shitstorm of epic proportions is gathering in the general vicinity of The Boss. He's already in the dog house with the administration because of issues relating to nepotism, and this could prove to be the straw that broke the camel's back. Not sure whether or not that would be good for me, but it would provide some measure of great karmic justice.

ah but wait...wasn't Red Dragon making a power play to remove/replace The Boss, and is not Red Dragon worse than The Boss? Is this a frying pan/fire scenario?

Run Far. Run Fast. Don't Look Back.