Thanks for sharing - that is a lot to hold in.captmojo wrote:It was quite therapeutic to get that out of me.
I have been in deep depression. What if? What if not?
I wish I had laid out of work that day.
I had to come to the realization that I had done everything I could do to avoid what became inevitable that day.
It took a long time.
It could have been worse. I don't have the slightest idea how people that have been through something like this, with worse injuries, cope with the realities.
I have co-workers that have endured accidents resulting in fatality. One was the result of suicide. They all have nightmares. I've had my share.
It sounds like the accident really got to you, just the incident itself. The fallout from work then sounds like a healthy dose of bullshit on top of a traumatic experience, thus compounding everything into one big, depression-worthy mess. Throw in that you're a lucky member of the "sandwich" generation, and man, you're right, it has been a shitty year for you.
I understand that the Chinese believe that you get three bad years in a row, followed by six good ones. Perhaps you're stuck in the midst of the bad years, but there's always those good ones to look forward to. In the meantime, we can be here to kick shins, send vibes, and just commiserate with you. Hey, you can even send those pillows to us for safekeeping, if one day, 13 just seems to be too many to handle. ;)