The Official "WWWD?" Thread

[OZZIE4DUKE]

Results of experiment came in, and they showed that the existing method will work for what we want it to do. Ready to move forward, right? Wrong. Dug stopped by my office to tell me that he and BarMinY are changing the method completely. The part they're changing? The part of the method that was included in the first place at The Boss's request. In fact, I spent several days getting it to work. The Boss said specifically that he wanted this method finished on Friday, and BarMinY's idea for changing things could take several days of work. If I know The Boss as I think I do, he will be majorly ticked that Dug has gone off on a tangent yet again.

So, what do I do? Do I say anything at all to The Boss or do I stay the heck out of it?

Hey boss, at the risk of sounding like a know-it-all and knowing it better than my coworkers (because I do), this is a major SNAFU waiting to happen...

Whether you say it or not is up to our more reasoned friends, and you!

[ArkieDukie]

There was a group meeting yesterday before I could do this. BarMinY and Dug announced that they had made no progress and that they were changing the method. The Boss expressed his displeasure. I started to ask a couple of questions/offer suggestion and was cut off by The Boss. Okay, fine. I have a pretty good idea of the source of their problem, but they seem to be more interested in chasing squirrels.

Now, here's where things get fun. I had a brief conversation with Dug this afternoon and told him my hypothesis. Based on what he said, I'm right. I told him that I'd look something up for him in my New England Journal of Medicine paper regarding my past work with a similar assay and send him the results. Since it's relevant to their work, I did so and copied The Boss and BarMinY on the message. I checked my work email a few minutes ago and had a response from BarMinY. The message was nearly unintelligible, reporting everything he's done this week. Doofus gave me ample opportunity to squash him like a bug, should I choose to do so. As an added bonus, he copied The Boss.

Okay, folks, what do I do? Do I dare reply all, as he did, and offer up a response that passes WTA while revealing his ignorance? There are at least 3 points in his message that are completely wrong, and I can easily prove it.The Boss views this guy as more of an expert than me, remember. Therein lies the rub: I'd be showing up The Boss's protege. At the same time, this guy is taking every possible opportunity to make himself look good at my expense - his email was no exception. So, Windsor et al, respond and crush, copying all?

[OZZIE4DUKE]

I vote respond, crush and destroy! But you are nicer than I am. ;)And yes, copy all. Including us!

[ArkieDukie]

I vote respond, crush and destroy! But you are nicer than I am. ;)And yes, copy all. Including us!

So, this is what I did. I did wait until today to write the response in order to give myself time to cool off. I pretty much went point by point through his message in responding. Tried to make it pass WTA, but my filter may not work very well. I say this because I got a not so nice response from BarMinY, telling me why my theory was wrong. Moreover, he implied that the current method wouldn't work because of something I did in the configuration. The Boss was copied, of course. His accusations are completely unfounded, and I could make him look stupid again if I so choose. I was home today with a migraine and didn't respond to his message. I'm seriously torn between ignoring it completely and responding only to the boss. BMY is turning it into a pissing contest, and I don't want to dignify him by responding. At the same time, I don't know how much luck he's having in discrediting me with The Boss. I ignored crap like this once before with Supervisor Barbie, and we all know how that worked out. By the time I finally had enough of her antics and went to the boss, she had so poisoned his opinion of me that he wouldn't listen to me at all. The situation is somewhat similar in that it's me vs the boss's protege. I do think my current boss is a bit smarter, though.

So, I'm stuck again. BMY went on the defensive and slung mud, and I'm trying to decide how to handle it. I think he made himself fail WTA, but that's just my opinion. Others might view it differently. However, I've noticed that he likes to deflect attention away from himself when he's caught revealing his ignorance, and I think that's what he's doing. Basically, he's trying to bait me into going on the defensive. Do I keep it civil and present data to prove he's wrong, yet again? If so, should I just send it to The Boss and leave BMY off the response? WWWD?

[windsor]

Sorry for abandoning my own thread in your hour of need, but I've been staying away lest I execute a spectacular, public WTA fail.

When you engage in a pissing contest you can't help but end up smelling like pee.

Change your tone from defensive to questioning. Ask, don't tell BUT
(inserting the one of the very few things I remember from the one law class I took)
"never ask a hostile witness a questions you don't already know the answer to".

Rather than responding with "No, you moronic scum sucking ass kissing bottom dweller, two hydrogen and one oxygen is WATER" you say "What happens whens you combine two hyrdogen and one oxygen...isn't that water?

A properly phrased question forces a response that acknowledges your are correct. Use rational, passive voice, pick the must ridiculous thing he said and query only to that point for now. The beauty of arrogant bastards is that one you aks them a question, even one with is a thinly veiled insult, their ego's kick in and they answer (more likely 'pontificate') .

I am sure some of the Legal Eagles on this list can offer some pointers in the proper construct of the 'question that is not a question'.

Now, back in my hole...must not be the asshole.....

[ArkieDukie]

Sorry for abandoning my own thread in your hour of need, but I've been staying away lest I execute a spectacular, public WTA fail.

When you engage in a pissing contest you can't help but end up smelling like pee.

Change your tone from defensive to questioning. Ask, don't tell BUT
(inserting the one of the very few things I remember from the one law class I took)
"never ask a hostile witness a questions you don't already know the answer to".

Rather than responding with "No, you moronic scum sucking ass kissing bottom dweller, two hydrogen and one oxygen is WATER" you say "What happens whens you combine two hyrdogen and one oxygen...isn't that water?

A properly phrased question forces a response that acknowledges your are correct. Use rational, passive voice, pick the must ridiculous thing he said and query only to that point for now. The beauty of arrogant bastards is that one you aks them a question, even one with is a thinly veiled insult, their ego's kick in and they answer (more likely 'pontificate') .

I am sure some of the Legal Eagles on this list can offer some pointers in the proper construct of the 'question that is not a question'.

Now, back in my hole...must not be the asshole.....

My read here is that you think I'm being the asshole. That's fair. You can say so if that's the case. I recognize that I don't always do a good job in WTA, and I probably messed up more than once in this whole situation. My fear is that my attempts to sound passive and rational come off as patronizing. BMY obviously read my message that way.

I've left out lots of technical jargon, and not relaying all of it makes me sound even worse as I read back through the thread about the current incident. So, I'll give an example. One of the points in his earlier message was that he wanted to use a different instrument, but the vacuum light was on, so either the vacuum was bad or the gauge was messed up and he'd have to fix it. I told him in my response that I had put the instrument into standby mode when I used it last, and putting it into operate mode would make the light go off. (It's like looking at the gas gauge when your car is off and concluding that you need to fill it with gas because the gauge reads empty.) The message I've been ignoring is another one making a similar claim. The latest is the equivalent of saying the sink isn't draining so I set the water flow is too high - while ignoring the possibility that the drain had become clogged. And now I'm pontificating.

BMY sent another message late last night to say that he had tracked down the problem, and it was related to a computational error in Dug's sample prep - one I thought had already been fixed. It wasn't anywhere in the instrument method. My hypothesis was wrong too, though, and BMY eventually solved the problem. I need to send him a shout-out for the detective work.

[windsor]

EGADS NO NO NO NO

I wasn't saying your were the asshole AT ALL. The reference was to something totally unrelated to this thread.

If I thought you were being the asshole, I would said so...albeit a little more delicately. I WAS suggesting that you can disarm a pissing contest (which no one ever wins) with a tone change.

A shout out for good work is always a class move. Bonus: it increases you personal street cred as someone will give credit when credit is due.

[Lavabe]

Windsor used "moronic" and "scum" consecutively for what might be the first time in the history of the English language ( ).

In another life, I'd have formed a garage band named "Moronic Scum."

Thanks for the levity of this thread!

[ArkieDukie]

EGADS NO NO NO NO

I wasn't saying your were the asshole AT ALL. The reference was to something totally unrelated to this thread.

If I thought you were being the asshole, I would said so...albeit a little more delicately. I WAS suggesting that you can disarm a pissing contest (which no one ever wins) with a tone change.

A shout out for good work is always a class move. Bonus: it increases you personal street cred as someone will give credit when credit is due.

I did reply and give him kudos for his detective work in solving the mystery. In the second paragraph I responded to his earlier message and basically said, "Gee, that is a problem. Did you check the drain?" Dude tries to turn everything into a pissing contest - especially when he's flat-out wrong. Aside from being counterproductive, it gets very old. Hopefully I defused this one.

[ArkieDukie]

Windsor used "moronic" and "scum" consecutively for what might be the first time in the history of the English language ( ).

In another life, I'd have formed a garage band named "Moronic Scum."

Thanks for the levity of this thread!

Hey, you're welcome. Anything I can do, especially given your current situation.

Along those line, I'm struggling to come up with good nicknames for my new colleagues/friends. The instrumentation wizard is like a redneck version of MacGyver. Wears cowboy boots and Wranglers - and he dips snuff. Dude can fix almost anything. He also says things on a semi-regular basis that put me in danger of spewing liquids across the room. My personal favorite is the phrase "lock assholes with." In context, one could say that I locked assholes with BarMinY this week. Ideas, anyone?

Bar Minion's boss is also in need of a nickname. She's very smart and also snarky. She refers to BarMinY as Wile E. Coyote, Super Genius, for example. (ooh - maybe that should be his nickname!) She's also a runner and is seriously like size 0 tiny.

[OZZIE4DUKE]

Sounds like the Instrument Dude is a real Wordsmith!

[windsor]

Equipment dude should be MacGyver.
BarMinY = Wile E. Coyote

Let's see...BarMInions boss...smart...calls someone Wile E Coyote...skinny and runs? Beep Beep, looks like we go us a Road Runner...

[Ima Facultiwyfe]

I'm delighted that we have a prime time series to follow again. I missed the old WWWD thread. AD, may I suggest a signature for you that includes the cast of characters and brief job descriptions? Especially if you go changing their names. The plot tends to get complicated and I lose track of the supporting players so I have to back peddle and look them up sometimes. If I were reading on my Kindle, it would supply me with that info. I'm getting spoiled, I know. But, this thread can get as complicated as War and Peace......on second thought, maybe it should be entitled the same.

I enjoy and learn a lot from high drama! Bless your hearts!
Love, Ima

[OZZIE4DUKE]

I second Ima's suggestion! I need a program to keep the players straight!

[ArkieDukie]

I had a meeting with The Boss today that made me a bit nervous. We have a new Dean (used to be at Duke), and he's been doing some house-cleaning since his arrival. The Boss now wants me to put together a document to justify my existence. In addition, The Boss doesn't like the amount of time I'm spending on Road Runner's projects. He's threatening to step in administratively and re-allocate my time away from Road Runner. Now, recall that Road Runner's area of interest is similar to mine and that she's very well-respected. The Boss is also threatening to not let me work with Brilliant Graduate Student any more (I'm helping to teach her how to do data analysis) since she is not technically in our department (although she works for Road Runner). I'm fairly certain that the type of work that The Boss is going to steer me toward doing is completely away from my area of expertise, and it's the type of work I really don't like doing at all. Or, possibly worse, he will make me work for Wile E. Coyote.

So, what do I do? Do I start looking for an escape hatch while sucking it up and doing whatever The Boss wants? I do have a job, although it seems more uncertain based upon the documentation that I need to provide for The Boss. Should I even consider approaching PH(former)B, who has actually been very nice of late and has even asked my advice on a couple of issues?

[DevilWearsPrada2.0]

You haven't been in Galveston that long, have you???

It's too bad, one of us didn't win that $599 million dollar lottery that the 84 yr old lady did in Florida. Give all the current CTN posters enough money to retire from Stupid Jobs with Stupid Bosses!!!!!

How is your new job going Arkie??/

[Ima Facultiwyfe]

OMG! Hurry up and read this, Windsor!!!! Til then, remember that none of the above has happened. You are just projecting. Worry about that tomorrow. Tomorrow is another day. Windsor! Can you hear me? Winnnndsorrrrrrr!!!!!!
Love, Ima

[ArkieDukie]

OMG! Hurry up and read this, Windsor!!!! Til then, remember that none of the above has happened. You are just projecting. Worry about that tomorrow. Tomorrow is another day. Windsor! Can you hear me? Winnnndsorrrrrrr!!!!!!
Love, Ima

You make a good point, Ima. I'm borrowing trouble. With that being said, my "spidey sense" about such things is generally pretty good. Guess all of you will just have to trust me regarding context of the discussion.

[windsor]

Here I come to save the day….

As I have said before the wonderful world of Academia is not my forte, but I think I know what is going on. In the corporate universe when there is an acquisition (as I am currently going through – Coventry was acquired by Aetna) or an upper level management change it is not at all unusual to be invited to submit a resume and apply for ones own job. Given the new Dean, and the house cleaning you mentioned, I believe your Boss is just being proactive (and somewhat savvy) an aligning himself to keep all of his people in all of their spots. I suspect there is administrative reason that he is steering you away from Road Runner and BGS. I also suspect, as with most management change, it will all blow over in the end. Your Boss is concerned with justifying the existence of the bodies he has (so he doesn’t lose any). Apparently he feels that the best way to do that is to shift your focus (at least on paper) for the time being. There may also be some insecurity on Boss’ part and doesn’t want to ‘lose’ to Road Runner.

My advice –
Craft a brilliant document justifying your existence.
Ask the boss if there are other areas he feels you should be branching in to
Keep doing exactly what you are doing now – but be a little more low key about Road Runner and Brilliant Grad Student.


Breath.

[ArkieDukie]

As always, you are spot on. It's just very disconcerting to be told that you have to put together a PowerPoint presentation to justify your existence, focusing on measurable outcomes. I also suspect you are right about Road Runner - after all, she is not paying any of my salary at the moment, and that's where most of my measurable outcome will be. There are others, though, and I will definitely have to feature those. Until then, I have to pray that RR's salary support for me comes through soon.

The Boss may view my efforts with Road Runner as a poor investment on his part due to the fact that she already has funding. I've helped her get more funding, which is a measurable outcome, as are the upcoming presentations at the conference I'm leaving for today. Papers in high profile journals are to come. I've been helping the rich get richer, in other words.

I'm also helping one of The Boss' people sort out a problem he's been fighting for over a year, and we have been successful in fixing the issue. More of those efforts may be in my future. Too bad that type of work is about as appealing to me as watching paint dry. In any event, I may be headed toward becoming the departmental "fixer."