crazietalk.net

I am posting this thread in response to a post in another thread about interactions on the board.

I have noticed that a lot of people appear to hit the submit button before reading what they have posted. As a result some people come across as overbearing, insensitive, judgmental, and at times mean. I realize that none of us intend to come across as such. We all should read what we've written and ask ourselves, is my intention clearly noted or could what is written be viewed as something other than what was intended. I, myself, have often started a response, only to change my mind as I realized my post brought no meaning to conversation, seemed inflammatory, or I thought what I was writing could be construed in a way I did not intend.

One of my favorite quotes is from Mark Twain;

It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.

A couple of other rules of thumb can be; would you want your mother/spouse/children to read what you wrote? Is this something you would say directly to someone's face? If I recall correctly, most everybody on the board has met someone else here, thus we are not anonymous as one can be on other boards, not referring to any one specific board, merely a generalization.

If we subscribe to these philosophies, I think a lot of hurt feelings will be spared and people will enjoy coming to Our House. As I noted before, there is a lot more latitude given here, but that doesn't mean we should post everything.

Tilly, why don't you just kiss my ***!?!

(I am KIDDING! You know I love you. )

Shammrog wrote:Tilly, why don't you just kiss my ***!?!

(I am KIDDING! You know I love you. )

I'm calling your bluff, Shamm. Bring it on! ;)

TillyGalore wrote:.... One of my favorite quotes is from Mark Twain;

It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt. ....

Tilly, I agree!!!! I love that quote! Thanks for the reminder to all of US!

I assume that this is mostly aimed at me, and I don't have a problem with that. I guess I'm just broken, cause I read every post I write at least twice before I hit the submit button and then once after. I have never left anything unedited that I'd have a problem with my wife or mother reading (there are a few things I wouldn't want my kids to read, but then, they're 3 and 6 so there are some things that are okay for adults but not for kids). Anyway, I guess my filter is just totally messed up, cause even though I read every post and even edit about 60% of them, I still get in trouble far too often. I think I'm broken. And no, I'm not trying to be flip or funny here, I'm seriously worried that chasing my kids around 24/7 has somehow damaged my psyche. I apparently have the knowledge and language of a 33 year old with the filter of a 6 year old. Maybe I just can't function in polite society anymore. Or maybe I'm just the . Okay, that last sentence was supposed to be flip and funny. ;)

bjornolf wrote:I assume that this is mostly aimed at me, and I don't have a problem with that. I guess I'm just broken, cause I read every post I write at least twice before I hit the submit button and then once after. I have never left anything unedited that I'd have a problem with my wife or mother reading (there are a few things I wouldn't want my kids to read, but then, they're 3 and 6 so there are some things that are okay for adults but not for kids). Anyway, I guess my filter is just totally messed up, cause even though I read every post and even edit about 60% of them, I still get in trouble far too often. I think I'm broken. And no, I'm not trying to be flip or funny here, I'm seriously worried that chasing my kids around 24/7 has somehow damaged my psyche. I apparently have the knowledge and language of a 33 year old with the filter of a 6 year old. Maybe I just can't function in polite society anymore. Or maybe I'm just the . Okay, that last sentence was supposed to be flip and funny. ;)

This thread is NOT aimed at one person, but a reminder to ALL of us, myself included.

While your kids can't read or use the computer, doesn't mean you shouldn't rule them out as a filter. I often think is what I have written something I would want my Goddaughter to read, and she's 2 1/2, or her mother one of my dearest friends.

I totally understand that. So, to play devil's advocate, I assume you completely ignore the Shammrog's sex polls then? ;) That's the kind of thing to which I was referring.

bjornolf wrote:I totally understand that. So, to play devil's advocate, I assume you completely ignore the Shammrog's sex polls then? ;) That's the kind of thing to which I was referring.

I do completely ignore them as I've learned way more about my friends than I care too when I was reading them. I do have concerns about them as we do have high school aged folks here. Your argument that they shouldn't look doesn't hold water. That is like telling a kid you've put candy in a drawer, but don't open the drawer. We both know they are going to try to open the drawer to get the candy. To be fair, I don't know what the solution is. Though I am confident we will know when we've crossed the line.

Just to give the flip side - when you read a post, I would suggest that it should also be read twice before taking offense. I always remind myself that inflection can't be read and try to take that into consideration. I remember laughing at a 3 page discussion about sock puppets on another board that started after someone took offense at a post that I read as sarcasm.

TillyGalore wrote:

bjornolf wrote:I totally understand that. So, to play devil's advocate, I assume you completely ignore the Shammrog's sex polls then? ;) That's the kind of thing to which I was referring.

I do completely ignore them as I've learned way more about my friends than I care too when I was reading them. I do have concerns about them as we do have high school aged folks here. Your argument that they shouldn't look doesn't hold water. That is like telling a kid you've put candy in a drawer, but don't open the drawer. We both know they are going to try to open the drawer to get the candy. To be fair, I don't know what the solution is. Though I am confident we will know when we've crossed the line.

I absolutely agree. I'm not a big fan of them myself. I tend to read them though, cause it's kind like the proverbial car wreck...I don't WANT to look, but I can't help it.

Now, c'mon. My sex polls are all tastefully phrased.

DukieInKansas wrote:Just to give the flip side - when you read a post, I would suggest that it should also be read twice before taking offense. I always remind myself that inflection can't be read and try to take that into consideration. I remember laughing at a 3 page discussion about sock puppets on another board that started after someone took offense at a post that I read as sarcasm.

Word. I try to read posts in the light of giving the author the benefit of the doubt.