My Mom is on Facebook

[Bostondevil]

I tried to discourage her because I knew as soon as she got on Facebook she would want to friend me. Well, it's happened. For those of you who have met my mom, yes, she's great, she's a kind, thoughtful person. But I'm her daughter. She has been 'up in my grill' my entire life. I've finally, finally, finally reached the point where she sorta, kinda settles for us talking on the phone only 3-4 times a week. Not every week mind, but more often than not, I can get by with 3 phone conversations. This is down from an average when my kids were younger of 2-3 times a day. Yes, a day. I think of Facebook as a way to goof around with my friends. I love my mother, but she's not my friend. Sigh. It will make Facebook no fun for me, I tell you.

[bjornolf]

Man, you're lucky. My mom calls closer to 5x a day. And that's a good day. On a bad day, she'll call more than that. I love her, but sometimes she drives me nuts.

[windsor]

My mother joined this weekend - giving us three generations on facebook - I helped her set up her account but I did admonish her about give my daughter any grief over her pictures/activiites (all of which are totally normal for a 21 year old) - I threatened to block her access to my daughter's facebook if she gave her or I any trouble. Really.

I know people who have two facebook accounts - usually one personal and one professional. (I actually have 4 but 3 are only for game play - the Mafia/Pirate games where you need to collect a mob of people) Set up a new account. Friend all your friends. Make generic mother friendly posts on the old one but use the new one. Either that or try the shock value technique and put something on your wall that will send mommy dearest into a tail spin...then tell her if she can't deal with it she really needs to unfriend you.

[Rolvix]

I haven't friended my mom (or dad) yet... Although I did accept a friend request from my aunt the other day. Mistake - or not? Can't decide yet.

[Bostondevil]

I haven't friended my mom (or dad) yet... Although I did accept a friend request from my aunt the other day. Mistake - or not? Can't decide yet.

That depends, will your aunt tattle on you to Mom and Dad? If she's cool, it's probably OK. I have some friends who love for me to have periodic chats with their teenaged son. For some reason, he'll tell me things he would never tell his parents. He knows I'll never pass along any details but I do warn him that if he's getting himself into actual trouble, I will inform his parents. To his parents, I say, he's fine.

[windsor]

I haven't friended my mom (or dad) yet... Although I did accept a friend request from my aunt the other day. Mistake - or not? Can't decide yet.

That depends, will your aunt tattle on you to Mom and Dad? If she's cool, it's probably OK. I have some friends who love for me to have periodic chats with their teenaged son. For some reason, he'll tell me things he would never tell his parents. He knows I'll never pass along any details but I do warn him that if he's getting himself into actual trouble, I will inform his parents. To his parents, I say, he's fine.

I had that understanding with my daughters friends...if they were going to get in serious trouble they knew I would tell - other than that...mum was the word! I never had to...but I probably would have given the kid a short time frame to 'fess up' themselves before I talked to their parents.

[Bostondevil]

Back to the Facebook thing, just today Mom has commented on my photos, posted on my wall twice, and sent me a PM. One of the wall posts was tellling me I need to come write on her wall.

[windsor]

Back to the Facebook thing, just today Mom has commented on my photos, posted on my wall twice, and sent me a PM. One of the wall posts was tellling me I need to come write on her wall.

Does she have any interests/hobbies? Maybe you could suck her in to one of the bazillion groups on facebook where she could have hundreds of people to talk to....in the mean time, ignore her (hint: if you are depserate use the facebook 'hide' feature)

[weezie]

I tried Facebook for about three days. Neither of my children would accept me as a friend. I got over it but I still like to moan and complain about what ingrates they are.
All your "denied" mothers will live; don't get too worked up about saying no to them. My son also never-ever-ever answers the phone and rarely checks voice messages, so, if it's really important, I have to text and send it in an emergency status, which he hates ;) . Daughter is better, we talk every other day or so but I also know when she is stressed and I back off. But both knew to pick up the phone right away and call Mom when the Red Wings lost the Stanley Cup or when the Devils don't play particularly well, because that's when it really counts.
I hope to grow old and become a pleasant, consistent burden to them one day

[windsor]

I tried Facebook for about three days. Neither of my children would accept me as a friend. I got over it but I still like to moan and complain about what ingrates they are.
All your "denied" mothers will live; don't get too worked up about saying no to them. My son also never-ever-ever answers the phone and rarely checks voice messages, so, if it's really important, I have to text and send it in an emergency status, which he hates ;) . Daughter is better, we talk every other day or so but I also know when she is stressed and I back off. But both knew to pick up the phone right away and call Mom when the Red Wings lost the Stanley Cup or when the Devils don't play particularly well, because that's when it really counts.
I hope to grow old and become a pleasant, consistent burden to them one day

I talk to my mother once a week. She lives 5 miles away and NEVER drops by unannounced or unplanned. If she calls other than the once a week there is a reason...breaking news..the time her house got hit by lightening...etc. I wouldn't answer the phone if my mother called me every day!! More than once a day...not in this or any other lifetime!

[DukePA]

I'm lucky with the mom thing. Mom parties as hard as I do! She doesn't particularly enjoy hearing her kids drop F-bombs, but is otherwise cool with us and so is dad. Nancy is having difficulty signing onto crazietalk and dbr for some reason. something about having to change IP address? I'm clueless. She is lurking and says to tell everyone hi and GTHC!!

[DevilAlumna]

My mom's a FB friend, but I have so many co-workers that are also friends, that I never post anything too outrageous. And if anyone posts anything even slightly objectionable to my wall, I delete it. So far, none of my friends have put up any horrifically embarrasing photos and whatnot; gosh, I'm glad digital cameras weren't around when I was in college.

As for overly intrusive mom, I've got mine trained to not really bug me. I call once a week on Sunday evenings. I may send an email or two. If mom calls me, she apologizes for interrupting - I kind of feel bad about that part, because almost always, it's when I'm doing nothing on a Saturday morning or something, and she usually calls for a good reason.

It doesn't hurt that they're in DC and I'm in Seattle. hard to maintain a close relation, there.

[weezie]

This has gotten me to thinking....truly, I know we're all kidding around but I would so like to pick up the phone and talk to my mother (who has been dead for 15 years, fairly young at the time too) so everybody, go ahead and call your moms and tell them you love them or, at least that you are thinking of them. It doesn't have to be Mother's Day, or her birthday, just give her a little phone hug.



But, you can still deny her on Facebook...I mean really!

[Rolvix]

Yeah, I figure if I ever have to I'll just put my "Adult" group on my facebook on "restricted" access. Although I don't have anything incriminating on my facebook, or really in real life for that matter...

[Sue71]

My parents can't be bothered to figure out how to use AIM or Yahoo Messenger. I'm not worried about them ever being on Facebook in the slightest. Plus, whatever I post there could always get back to them anyway due to some of the people I'm friends with. Ah, whatever.

[CameronBornAndBred]

I email my parents a good bit, and love it. I hate the phone, and while I enjoy talking to them I also enjoy my distance. I would not want to be FB friends with my parents at all.
I did however surprise my mom this weekend and showed up at their house unannounced on Saturday. They live 2 hours north of Charlotte in Va (6 hours from my house), and I hadn't seen them in a while. Her and my stepdad both loved the surprise, and we had a good visit before I left later that day.

[Miles]

I tried to discourage her because I knew as soon as she got on Facebook she would want to friend me. Well, it's happened. For those of you who have met my mom, yes, she's great, she's a kind, thoughtful person. But I'm her daughter. She has been 'up in my grill' my entire life. I've finally, finally, finally reached the point where she sorta, kinda settles for us talking on the phone only 3-4 times a week. Not every week mind, but more often than not, I can get by with 3 phone conversations. This is down from an average when my kids were younger of 2-3 times a day. Yes, a day. I think of Facebook as a way to goof around with my friends. I love my mother, but she's not my friend. Sigh. It will make Facebook no fun for me, I tell you.

Your mom was a sweetheart but I can appreciate your standpoint on this. You might look into the privacy settings and block your mom from all the cool stuff. Let me know if you need help.

[knights68]

Oh my gosh, I can seriously relate to this as my mom is also on Facebook. I recently introduced her to it thinking it would be a good way for her to find new friends and new groups to hang and chat.
Instead, all she has done is take gobs of quizzes and.... send friend requests to most of my friends (nearly 103 of 'em!!)

I agree, she is my mom, NOT my friend. But I guess at the very least she is not forwarding emails to these FB friends of mine and telling embarrassing things about me or badmouhting me to all the folks I know.

I/WE have that going for us at least

[TillyGalore]

Oh my gosh, I can seriously relate to this as my mom is also on Facebook. I recently introduced her to it thinking it would be a good way for her to find new friends and new groups to hang and chat.
Instead, all she has done is take gobs of quizzes and.... send friend requests to most of my friends (nearly 103 of 'em!!)

I agree, she is my mom, NOT my friend. But I guess at the very least she is not forwarding emails to these FB friends of mine and telling embarrassing things about me or badmouhting me to all the folks I know.

I/WE have that going for us at least

She's also sent friend requests to some of my friends too. Bless her heart.

[DukeUsul]

Sorry it hasn't worked out too well BD. I have the opposite problem. I made my mom join Facebook since that's where I put all the pics and videos of Katie. We got back from Aruba and she asks me to send out pics. I say ok I will. So I put them all up on Facebook the next day. Two weeks later we finally talk on the web cam so she can see her granddaughter and she's mad that I haven't sent pics out. Mom they're on Facebook where I always put them, don't get mad!