crazietalk.net

These really work!

1. Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold the vegetables while you chop.

2. Avoid argument with the females about lifting the toilet seat by using the sink.

3. For high blood pressure sufferers, simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure on your veins. Remember to use a timer.

4. A mouse trap placed on top of your alarm clock will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.

5. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives. Then you'll be afraid to cough.

6. You only need two tools in life -- WD 40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the WD 40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.

7. If you can't fix it with a hammer, you've got an electrical problem.

I have actually peed in the sink. Don't knock it!

(But, as a female, don't try it. Unless you are wearing non-slip shoes.)

CathyCA wrote:These really work!

1. Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold the vegetables while you chop.

2. Avoid argument with the females about lifting the toilet seat by using the sink.

3. For high blood pressure sufferers, simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure on your veins. Remember to use a timer.

4. A mouse trap placed on top of your alarm clock will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.

5. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives. Then you'll be afraid to cough.

6. You only need two tools in life -- WD 40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the WD 40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.

7. If you can't fix it with a hammer, you've got an electrical problem.

Shouldn't these be listed in the joke thread? Where's a mod when you need one?

OZZIE4DUKE wrote:

CathyCA wrote:These really work!

1. Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold the vegetables while you chop.

2. Avoid argument with the females about lifting the toilet seat by using the sink.

3. For high blood pressure sufferers, simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure on your veins. Remember to use a timer.

4. A mouse trap placed on top of your alarm clock will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.

5. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives. Then you'll be afraid to cough.

6. You only need two tools in life -- WD 40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the WD 40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.

7. If you can't fix it with a hammer, you've got an electrical problem.

Shouldn't these be listed in the joke thread? Where's a mod when you need one?

No! These are simple home remedies. Feel free to add to the list!

These are hilarious, Cathy. I'm e-mailing them to several of the non-crazietalkers in my life right now.

2. Avoid argument with the females about lifting the toilet seat by using the sink.

My wife's female college roommate did that once when she was drunk. She also peed in the bushes outside a frat party, RIGHT outside a glass door on the other side of which was 90% of the partiers.

6. You only need two tools in life -- WD 40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the WD 40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.

I'm also convinced that the world would come to a grinding halt without duct tape, and my grandfather, who was one of the smartest and handiest men I've ever known, swore that WD-40 was the greatest substance ever invented.

7. If you can't fix it with a hammer, you've got an electrical problem.

Oh, come on. There are electrical problems you can fix with a hammer! ;)

Shammrog wrote:I have actually peed in the sink. Don't knock it!....

I think instead of knocking it, we might have to use the last remedy, hammer please! I will now wonder about you when you come to visit!

wilson wrote:These are hilarious, Cathy. I'm e-mailing them to several of the non-crazietalkers in my life right now.

I agree! I loved them also!

We've done some cleaning up of some posts in this thread, to remove some graphic discussion. We hope for crazietalk to be a lighthearted foil of sorts to DBR, but we'd like to remind everyone that our standards for what is or isn't lighthearted, comfortable discussion are not universal. Please strive to remember before you post that others' thresholds may be lower than your own.

I assume you're talking to me. I apologize. Poor form. I'll try to be better. Promise.

Okay, this one is pretty helpful: http://www.familyhack.com/2007/08/29/drain-tip/

AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLICING VEGETABLES BY:
A) Use as an excuse to eat out!
B) Stop eating veggies... hazardous to your health apparently


Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a hammer and you will forget about the toothache.

If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat and presto. The blockage will be almost instantly removed.

You only need two tools in life - WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.

Pepto Bismol & Vodka: It'll cure all your ills!

I like the ice cube one! It reminds me of the old adage: By the law of averages, if you put one foot in a bucket of ice and another in a tub of boiling water, you should be perfectly comfortable, not perfectly miserable.

CathyCA wrote:Okay, this one is pretty helpful: http://www.familyhack.com/2007/08/29/drain-tip/

Okay, that one is brilliant!