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Okay, FordGirl and I were talking tonight and we had quite the serious disagreement. We are working through it and I feel we will be okay. Here is the issue at hand (in a nutshell):

The question is: For ONE MILLION dollars, would you stick regular (not super powerful, but standard) firecrackers between each of your left and right toes and ignite them through to explosion?

I said I would. She said she wouldn't. I told her I would make a post and poll of it. So please feel free to vote and to discuss. Just to be clear, even though humans generally have ten toes, we only have eight spaces to fit standard firecrackers.

A Million dollars folks. Think about it.

-EarlJam

I'm with Fordgirl.

Very Duke Blue wrote:I'm with Fordgirl.

I believe that you are just agreeing with her because she is a woman. A million dollars? Toes? Come on!

I challenge you to really think this thing through and to be rational.

I will talk to a moderator asap so that you may change your vote when ready.

Best,

-EarlJam

Subtract the hospital bill and taxes, and suddenly that million has been spent. I'm with Fordgirl on this.

Lavabe wrote:Subtract the hospital bill and taxes, and suddenly that million has been spent. I'm with Fordgirl on this.

For a million AFTER taxes and hospital bills, I'd do it. Plus I could write a book about what an idiot I was, which would get made into a movie, and my million would turn into truckloads! ;)

I like walking too much to engage in this activity.

Nope! Not me. At my age I value any body part that is still operational! But, you go ahead, bless your heart. Let me know how it works out for ya. I'll wait.
Love, Ima

Since EJ hasn't specified the type of firecracker, I'm going to have to assume he's not talking about the professional grade fireworks that require a license to use. So I'm gonna give this a big thumbs up and say oh hell yeah I'm doing it. A million bucks still goes a long way towards paying off some debt, buying a home and taking a long vacation once my toes are healed up.

Count me in.

How many? A whole strip? If I did it, I'd figure out a way to make money on it (so I'd get more than the million I'm already due). Like do it live on TV, or stream it on the web. Advertising would be the revenue.
"Guy blowing his toes off, brought to you by Dr. Scholls"

I'm with Fordgrl and CathyCA on this one - no fucking way. I like walking without a limp. And Miles, your affected toes won't heal, at least not ON your body, and there would probably be a significant part of your foot that would be missing too.

BTW, a $1,000,000 ain't that much. It's way more than I have, but it's not that much. I think this calls for a new poll, one not involving any maiming or illegal acts. Stay tuned, sports fans.

OZZIE4DUKE wrote:I'm with Fordgrl and CathyCA on this one - no fucking way. I like walking without a limp. And Miles, your affected toes won't heal, at least not ON your body, and there would probably be a significant part of your foot that would be missing too.

BTW, a $1,000,000 ain't that much. It's way more than I have, but it's not that much. I think this calls for a new poll, one not involving any maiming or illegal acts. Stay tuned, sports fans.

You're wrong Ozzie, on sooooooooooo many levels.
1. Not all firecrackers explode, some shoot sparks out the top.
2. Even if it were an exploding firecracker, I doubt it would blow off my toes because I wouldn't be closing my toes around the firecracker thereby increasing the effectiveness of the blast. I've head many a firecracker in between finger and thumb when they went off and I still have all ten digits. Now, if I held them inside a closed fist, it's a whole other story.
3. Your forget, EarlJam and I have Toes of Gold.

OZZIE4DUKE wrote:BTW, a $1,000,000 ain't that much. It's way more than I have, but it's not that much. I think this calls for a new poll, one not involving any maiming or illegal acts. Stay tuned, sports fans.

One million is a lot, even after taxes.
1. I'll buy a house and be rid of a mortgage payment.
2. I'll be debt free.

Add those two together and I'm increasing my disposable income well over 10x. That's a pretty significant raise and has huge longterm implications towards saving up for retirement, flying to Paris on a whim for Steak Tartare, helping the family out, funding mine and EJ's trip to 2012 Olympics, etc.

Miles wrote:

OZZIE4DUKE wrote:BTW, a $1,000,000 ain't that much. It's way more than I have, but it's not that much. I think this calls for a new poll, one not involving any maiming or illegal acts. Stay tuned, sports fans.

One million is a lot, even after taxes.
1. I'll buy a house and be rid of a mortgage payment.
2. I'll be debt free.

Add those two together and I'm increasing my disposable income well over 10x. That's a pretty significant raise and has huge longterm implications towards saving up for retirement, flying to Paris on a whim for Steak Tartare, helping the family out, funding mine and EJ's trip to 2012 Olympics, etc.

See my new poll. Feel free to copy your answer here over there, and I'll respond there.

Miles wrote:Since EJ hasn't specified the type of firecracker, I'm going to have to assume he's not talking about the professional grade fireworks that require a license to use. So I'm gonna give this a big thumbs up and say oh hell yeah I'm doing it. A million bucks still goes a long way towards paying off some debt, buying a home and taking a long vacation once my toes are healed up.

Count me in.

It's "firecrackers", not "fireworks". EJ also said they were regular ones, not the super powerful ones. They'd hurt, sure, and you'd have some burns, but I doubt you'd lose any digits. I'd be more worried about the burns up the legs. I DEFINITELY wouldn't wanna wear shorts when setting one off. I'd probably sit in a chair to do it, a fireproof chair, to protect my more tender areas.

A million dollars just doesn't go as far as it used to.

bjornolf wrote:

Miles wrote:Since EJ hasn't specified the type of firecracker, I'm going to have to assume he's not talking about the professional grade fireworks that require a license to use. So I'm gonna give this a big thumbs up and say oh hell yeah I'm doing it. A million bucks still goes a long way towards paying off some debt, buying a home and taking a long vacation once my toes are healed up.

Count me in.

It's "firecrackers", not "fireworks".

And?

I voted "Maybe" (the third option).
If it were a million bucks free from taxes or levies or whatever else and free from any threats from such thereof, I would more seriously consider it than after taxes (which comes out to be between $300k and $600k depending on where you are at and who you are).
If I squeezed my toes together really hard as the firecrackers were to explode, I would get more burned than the li'l piggies blown apart. Is that not correct?

I set off a firecracker in my hand a few weeks ago - for free. Well I was drunk at the time but whatever. For a million dollars I wouldn't even hesitate.

Lavabe wrote:Subtract the hospital bill and taxes, and suddenly that million has been spent. I'm with Fordgirl on this.

What the hell are hospital bills? Oh yeah, y'all don't have universal health care. Up here in Canada all it would cost would be the firecrackers and the lighter (and I already own a bunch of those!). Any subsequent hospital bills have already been paid for through my taxes so a hospital visit wouldn't cost me a dime except for parking.

colchar wrote:

Lavabe wrote:Subtract the hospital bill and taxes, and suddenly that million has been spent. I'm with Fordgirl on this.

What the hell are hospital bills? Oh yeah, y'all don't have universal health care. Up here in Canada all it would cost would be the firecrackers and the lighter (and I already own a bunch of those!). Any subsequent hospital bills have already been paid for through my taxes so a hospital visit wouldn't cost me a dime except for parking.

Aha! At the hospital here in Greenville, we can park for free!