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EarlJam Tennis is Back!
Posted: March 1st, 2010, 10:10 pm
by EarlJam
Tonight, I, Earljam, bounced back from a close first match loss to defeat my second opponent of the season 6-4, 6-3. If you didn't catch it on NBC, it was an intense match, but yours truly pulled away at the mid-point of both sets.
This pleases me, EarlJam. I did not play in the spring, summer and fall leagues of last year due to focusing on managing a lay-off, moving, etc. It felt great to get a first win under my belt, and I have no intentions of dropping another match. Of course "intentions" don't always turn into reality, but that is the mindset.
Anyway, I have three balls from the match, which I have autographed. I am offering to sell my autographed balls, "first win of 2010 season,' for the low, low price of $1,500 each. OR, you can get the "Return of Service" special by purchasing all three of my autographed balls for only $2,500. WHAT A BARGAIN!
Anyway, okay. I need a sandwich, and a beer.
-EarlJam
Re: EarlJam Tennis is Back!
Posted: March 1st, 2010, 10:26 pm
by Rolvix
Way to go! I was sure this thread was about "EarlJam Tennis" the game. When is that being released!? I can't wait to play against Federer as EJ!
Re: EarlJam Tennis is Back!
Posted: March 1st, 2010, 10:35 pm
by devildeac
EarlJam wrote:Tonight, I, Earljam, bounced back from a close first match loss to defeat my second opponent of the season 6-4, 6-3. If you didn't catch it on NBC, it was an intense match, but yours truly pulled away at the mid-point of both sets.
This pleases me, EarlJam. I did not play in the spring, summer and fall leagues of last year due to focusing on managing a lay-off, moving, etc. It felt great to get a first win under my belt, and I have no intentions of dropping another match. Of course "intentions" don't always turn into reality, but that is the mindset.
Anyway, I have three balls from the match, which I have autographed. I am offering to sell my autographed balls, "first win of 2010 season,' for the low, low price of $1,500 each. OR, you can get the "Return of Service" special by purchasing all three of my autographed balls for only $2,500. WHAT A BARGAIN!
Anyway, okay. I need a sandwich, and a beer.
-EarlJam
Would they be anything like "Schweaty Balls?"(from SNL)
Re: EarlJam Tennis is Back!
Posted: March 2nd, 2010, 11:35 am
by EarlJam
Rolvix wrote:Way to go! I was sure this thread was about "EarlJam Tennis" the game. When is that being released!? I can't wait to play against Federer as EJ!
Pffffft! Roger. I would squash him like a bug, then I would celebrate by drinking Swiss Miss Instant Cocoa (with Baileys and cream) just to mock his Swiss ass!
Actually, I love R. Federer. He has tremendous respect for the game and is an outstanding ambassador for it.
"EarlJam Tennis" will be released in late May of this year, right before Wimbledon. We will be giving the product away for free in London to the first 200 people through the gate that are wearing mis-matched socks, own a pony, and have an open wound on their body...and can prove it.
-EarlJam
Re: EarlJam Tennis is Back!
Posted: March 2nd, 2010, 1:43 pm
by colchar
EarlJam wrote:Tonight, I, Earljam, bounced back from a close first match loss to defeat my second opponent of the season 6-4, 6-3. If you didn't catch it on NBC, it was an intense match, but yours truly pulled away at the mid-point of both sets.
This pleases me, EarlJam. I did not play in the spring, summer and fall leagues of last year due to focusing on managing a lay-off, moving, etc. It felt great to get a first win under my belt, and I have no intentions of dropping another match. Of course "intentions" don't always turn into reality, but that is the mindset.
Anyway, I have three balls from the match, which I have autographed. I am offering to sell my autographed balls, "first win of 2010 season,' for the low, low price of $1,500 each. OR, you can get the "Return of Service" special by purchasing all three of my autographed balls for only $2,500. WHAT A BARGAIN!
Anyway, okay. I need a sandwich, and a beer.
-EarlJam
What the hell makes you think that any of us would be interested in your balls?!?!?
Re: EarlJam Tennis is Back!
Posted: March 2nd, 2010, 1:47 pm
by EarlJam
colchar wrote:EarlJam wrote:Tonight, I, Earljam, bounced back from a close first match loss to defeat my second opponent of the season 6-4, 6-3. If you didn't catch it on NBC, it was an intense match, but yours truly pulled away at the mid-point of both sets.
This pleases me, EarlJam. I did not play in the spring, summer and fall leagues of last year due to focusing on managing a lay-off, moving, etc. It felt great to get a first win under my belt, and I have no intentions of dropping another match. Of course "intentions" don't always turn into reality, but that is the mindset.
Anyway, I have three balls from the match, which I have autographed. I am offering to sell my autographed balls, "first win of 2010 season,' for the low, low price of $1,500 each. OR, you can get the "Return of Service" special by purchasing all three of my autographed balls for only $2,500. WHAT A BARGAIN!
Anyway, okay. I need a sandwich, and a beer.
-EarlJam
Puck you Colchar! Hockey puck you to Hell! My autographed balls are worth thousands! Just check out this site:
http://www.earljamsballs.com
Your country just won at hockey. Be happy. Don't spew hate on my balls!
-EJ
What the hell makes you think that any of us would be interested in your balls?!?!?
Re: EarlJam Tennis is Back!
Posted: March 3rd, 2010, 8:02 pm
by TillyGalore
I bought a tennis racket and some balls tonight. Will be signing for tennis lessons on Friday.
I'm pretty excited to play tennis. Maybe some day I'll kick EJ's balls, er, arse all over the court.
Re: EarlJam Tennis is Back!
Posted: March 3rd, 2010, 8:15 pm
by EarlJam
TillyGalore wrote:I bought a tennis racket and some balls tonight. Will be signing for tennis lessons on Friday.
I'm pretty excited to play tennis. Maybe some day I'll kick EJ's balls, er, arse all over the court.
Game on! You are going to love tennis. In fact, tennis is all about "love." By the nature of how score is kept, you will say love at least a dozen times during a match. You may slam your racquet. You may punch the fence. You may want to punch your opponent. But through it all, you will say, "Love."
Love,
-EarlJam
Re: EarlJam Tennis is Back!
Posted: March 3rd, 2010, 9:14 pm
by colchar
EarlJam wrote:
Puck you Colchar! Hockey puck you to Hell! My autographed balls are worth thousands! Just check out this site:
http://www.earljamsballs.com
Your country just won at hockey. Be happy. Don't spew hate on my balls!
Dude, I can guarantee you, with 100% certainty, that I will never, under any circumstances whatsoever, spew
anything on your balls.
Re: EarlJam Tennis is Back!
Posted: March 3rd, 2010, 10:00 pm
by DukeUsul
Can I just get you to autograph one of my balls?
Re: EarlJam Tennis is Back!
Posted: March 3rd, 2010, 10:35 pm
by colchar
DukeUsul wrote:Can I just get you to autograph one of my balls?
You'd trust EJ with his hands near your balls? There are
so many things that could go wrong there...