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I am working to compile a list of objects that have been thrown at posters to this board out of anger. I am particularly interested in objects thrown by loved ones during the heat of an argument. One that comes to mind immediately for me:

OREGANO BOTTLE

Years ago, when married, my ex-wife was on the phone. I kept making her laugh during a conversation and while she thought it was funny at first, she began to get angry. I really didn't pick up on this fact so I kept up my shinanigans (love that word). Anyway, as she was talking on the phone, the slight smirk on her face turned to mad-dog snarl. In the same instance (we were in the kitchen), she reached for the spice rack, pulled a jar of oregano and hurled it at my face. My eyes got as wide as frisbees and, using my cat-like reflexes, I was able to duck just as the bottle smashed against the wall. Glass and oregano were scattered everywhere. Had I not ducked, I believe it would have caught me right between the eyes and it would have been very, very..........very painful....if not damaging..............but I would have smelled tasty I suppose.

Do tell of your experiences!

-EarlJam

In my husbands defense (see 'Cursing thread) he threw someting non-lethal - either a pillow or kleenex box...throwing for effect not damage

I have had car keys (mine) hurled at my head...and a knife (yeah...I dated some losers back in the day) neither made contact.

I have hurled a (full) beer bottle....it was my exit strategy after the knife toss (it was Bud Light so not really a beer )
it missed its target but shatter smartly on the wall providing the needed distraction and a beat a hasty retreat never to return. A girl doesn't get her stripes until she has at least one nut case in her past that was mine.

windsor wrote:I have hurled a (full) beer bottle....it was my exit strategy after the knife toss (it was Bud Light so not really a beer )

YEAH!!!!!!!

My wife sent me to the doctor for a vasectomy. Does that count?

I can't recall ever deliberately throwing anything at someone, but there was one incident with an old boyfriend...we were sitting in the lobby of I think it was the Navy Lodge in Yokosuka, Japan. We were waiting to get a room, so I had a change of clothes with me. We were sitting on the edge of a planter with artificial plants; we started arguing, and eventually I picked up my clothes and started to walk away. I realized I had inadvertently picked up one of the plants, so I tossed it back toward the planter and kept walking. He followed me out to the sidewalk, where we kept arguing for a few moments, until he said, "...and besides, you hit me with a fern!" and I couldn't keep arguing because I was laughing too hard. Apparently, I had managed to hit him square in the chest with a plastic fern.

That was how most of our fights ended, with him pointing out something ridiculous and me collapsing in laughter. Too bad he turned out to be a lying dickhead.

Jesus_hurley wrote:My wife sent me to the doctor for a vasectomy. Does that count?

before |------------------------------------------------------|

after |---------------------| ;)

Oh wait, let me google that big word.......

Jesus_hurley wrote:My wife sent me to the doctor for a vasectomy. Does that count?

before |------------------------------------------------------|

after |---------------------| ;)

Oh wait, let me google that ... OMG, that was Lorianna Bobbet....

I threw a glass of wine at my ex: the lying cheating rat bastard from Hell Unfortunately, I "throw like a girl" and missed the asshole .

Honestly, I have not thrown anything at X's or anyone else..... I realized along time ago that I didn't realize my own strength and being a pretty good Baseball player "pitcher" to say the least, I ... ahem... have tried to control myself there and like EJ, I do have pretty good reflexes... but I'm thinking real hard about what might have been hurled at me... but am coming up empty... sorry for no juice there!

I've thrown a golf club or two in my day, and I threw, repeatedly, a "stadium seat" in Wallace Wade Stadium when Coach Mike McGee tried to maintain a tie with carolina rather than trying to win the game in the last minute or two (1975 season). I threw that sucker half a dozen times until it was no longer functional as a chair.

When I was ~8, and my little brother was 6, he threw a "Bop Baseball" bat at me and hit me square between the eyes from about 10 feet away. Only decent throw the little bastard made in his entire life.

Jesus_hurley wrote:My wife sent me to the doctor for a vasectomy. Does that count?

Jesus, Jesus hurley!

-EJ

gadzooks wrote:I can't recall ever deliberately throwing anything at someone, but there was one incident with an old boyfriend...we were sitting in the lobby of I think it was the Navy Lodge in Yokosuka, Japan. We were waiting to get a room, so I had a change of clothes with me. We were sitting on the edge of a planter with artificial plants; we started arguing, and eventually I picked up my clothes and started to walk away. I realized I had inadvertently picked up one of the plants, so I tossed it back toward the planter and kept walking. He followed me out to the sidewalk, where we kept arguing for a few moments, until he said, "...and besides, you hit me with a fern!" and I couldn't keep arguing because I was laughing too hard. Apparently, I had managed to hit him square in the chest with a plastic fern.

That was how most of our fights ended, with him pointing out something ridiculous and me collapsing in laughter. Too bad he turned out to be a lying dickhead.

Holy LOL! At least for me, this is the post of the week so far! Hilarious! "You hit me with a fern!"

Can you imagine a police report on that???

Then to end it with, "Too bad he turned out to be a lying dickhead."

Awesome! Funny! Thanks!

-EarlJam

EarlJam wrote:

Jesus_hurley wrote:My wife sent me to the doctor for a vasectomy. Does that count?

Jesus, Jesus hurley!

-EJ

Gadzooks - LMAO!!!!

DukePA wrote:I threw a glass of wine at my ex: the lying cheating rat bastard from Hell Unfortunately, I "throw like a girl" and missed the asshole .

Okay, I've had a moderatley shitty day. But these posts of y'alls. The above is great. I'm not typing "LOL" to express appreciation. It's true. I've been laughing my ass off here for about ten minutes straight! "The lying cheating rat bastard from Hell?

....missed the asshole.

Lordy!

-EarlJam

I have managed to make Shrimp & Sausage Jambalaya in the midst of all this discussion, (without burning anything) - thank you lord), and it is yummy, but I can't eat it while laughing my ass off!

I had another fight with the same boyfriend where I got so frustrated with him I started jumping up and down on the bed, and a minute later he says, "Do you realize you just did a touchdown dance on me?" and again, I totally fell out laughing.

Too bad he was a lying dickhead.

I had a 4th grader throw a trashcan toward me in P.E. class one time. I suspended him for the trashcan toss and for his use of profanity.

His mom came in to complain and explained that he was a gifted child, and that he was frustrated, and that's why he used the profanity. My response to her was, "Yes, I know that your son is gifted. He used the words 'sh*t' and 'motherf*cker' correctly in a sentence. Still, I must suspend him from school for using those words in my P.E. class."

EarlJam wrote:
Okay, I've had a moderatley shitty day. But these posts of y'alls. The above is great. I'm not typing "LOL" to express appreciation. It's true. I've been laughing my ass off here for about ten minutes straight! "The lying cheating rat bastard from Hell?

....missed the asshole.

Lordy!

-EarlJam

Where's the cussing thread when you need it?

CathyCA wrote:I had a 4th grader throw a trashcan toward me in P.E. class one time. I suspended him for the trashcan toss and for his use of profanity.

His mom came in to complain and explained that he was a gifted child, and that he was frustrated, and that's why he used the profanity. My response to her was, "Yes, I know that your son is gifted. He used the words 'sh*t' and 'motherf*cker' correctly in a sentence. Still, I must suspend him from school for using those words in my P.E. class."

Excellent comeback, Cathy!!!!!!

My brother threw the classic Transfromer Mirage at me. We're talking metal, not that plastic crap they try to pawn off on kids as toys these days. It hit me in the head above the eye, I bled fiercely. Jonathon was so upset to see what he had done so I couldn't really get too mad at him.