devildeac wrote:This is our first Christmas without Dad/Grandpa who died in March. Despite all the friends and family who are visiting and providing lotsa Christmas spirit and blessings, there is still a large empty spot in our hearts and in our house this season. Earlier this month, we brought most of his estate to closure including his house and finances. It was especially difficult for me as I physically and symbolically closed all the blinds, locked all the doors, turned off all the lights and heat and closed his garage door for the last time about 3 weeks ago after we emptied his house and donated the last of his possessions to one of the local non-profits before selling the house the next day. Joy had similar feelings as she paid the last of his bills earlier this week with the sense of this being the end of another chapter in our lives. I think I have wept more this month than I did in the first few weeks after he died.
Cathy's thoughts/prayers are greatly appreciated and well-received. We do feel very loved and we are truly at peace.
I certainly identify with what you've described, devildeac. My dad died 20 years ago and I still miss hearing him read the
Cajun Night Before Christmas to the grandchildren...... and all the other things he used to do for us at Christmas. With the exception of my mother, all the family in Daddy's generation is gone now on both sides of the family. My generation has become the grandparents and the grandchildren are now the parents. Last night as Mom, Sister Woman and I ate, laughed and looked at lights, we remembered with happy laughter some of Daddy's exploits that have become more humorous as the years pass..... some were about how he dealt with snow as well as the holiday doings.
I'm so grateful that my niece Jackie and her family from Durham will be able to join us Sunday. On the day of the recent snow storm, she and her husband were at Durham Regional for tests to determine the cause of the temporary loss of vision Jackie experienced the day before. So far a blood clot in a carotid artery is
probably not present as first suspected, but there is a collapse of a small section of the lining of the blood vessel and the muscle outside pulled away a bit. The results of the CT scan done during the snow storm were normal. Still awaiting results of blood tests.... tests covering a broad spectrum of possibilities. Meanwhile Jackie did return to her work as a veterinarian, but with slight restrictions for now.
My sister-in-law is still grieving her mother's death just over a year ago. She's stuck in the anger stage and becoming more and more like her mother in ensuring that she's the center of the drama.
I'm spending the day in a quiet way so that I can handle the barbs that will begin to fly once we assemble at my brother and sister-in-law's house this evening.
The dishwasher is loaded with my favorite Christmas china, now out of storage, to get ready for the festive gathering Sunday. Casserole dishes for my offering for tonight are out and ready to receive the dish my sister-in-law assigned me.
The candle lights in the windows seem to glow against the gray skies outside, looking cheery despite the dreary background..... rather symbolic of how I choose to experience the day!