Statler and Waldorf and CathyCA (aka The Snark Thread)

[CathyCA]

This is a photo of Camilla leaving the hair salon AFTER getting her hair done, bless her heart.

Someone needs to tell the Duchess that her shoes should coordinate with her dress, however frumpy it is, and her bag, however informal it is. Blue dress, brown shoes, black and straw bag. Tsk tsk tsk. . . (I'm not even going to comment on that thing she has draped around her neck.) I could soooooooooooooo do a better job of being the Duchess. For that matter, fifteen percent of the women in America could do a better job of being the Duchess.

I do LOVE the bracelet! It's classy!

If you were the Duchess of Cornwall, people would write snarky comments about you too.

They would not write about my bag not matching my shoes. They would not write about my frumpy dress. They would not wonder why I spent all that money to make my hair look like Camilla's.

They might write about my upper gummy smile, my sensible, yet color coordinated Enzo Angiolini flats, and they might write about my upper arm flab, which if I were the Duchess of Cornwall, I would hire the buffest trainer in all of England so that I could do something about THAT problem.

They certainly would not write about my teeth!

[Bostondevil]

If I were the Duchess of Cornwall, oh wait, that would mean I was married to Prince Charles, wouldn't it? Never mind, I would never be the Duchess of Cornwall.

[ArkieDukie]

I just watched the ladies' portion of the World Figure Skating Championships online. There's one skater in particular (I won't mention Carolina Kostner's name) whose costume is always about 2 sizes too small. To say that it crawls up a bit is an understatement of epic proportions. Her costumes border on obscene during spiral sequences. Carolina, please, PLEASE get someone to make a costume for you that actually fits. I think you are a great skater, but I don't want to be flashed every time you skate. (Of course, EJ and wilson might disagree with me on this point...)

[wilson]

...I don't want to be flashed every time you skate. (Of course, EJ and wilson might disagree with me on this point...)

Even the prospect of getting flashed is far too little to get me to watch figure skating.

[Turk]

Mind if I have a go at this? Something's been driving me nuts and I need to vent....

In my bland little corner of suburbia, many of the minvans and SUVs have these nauseating stick figures on the back window representing everyone in the household: Dad with a briefcase and Mom the tennis player (or vice versa), the kids playing whatever sport they're mediocre at. Even the fecking goldfish have a sticker. Gag me with a garden rake.

Most of the time, I can look the other way and just let it go. But in one or two instances, I know the families in said minivan, and they are NOT as they appear on the back window. Pops enjoys a little too much booze, Moms throws money around like kleenex in allergy season (or vice versa), the one kid needs a Ritalin IV drip and the other kid is an overweight blob who spends 12 hours a day on xbox. I don't see any stickers like that...

Can I get a little truth in advertising here? Is there a cynical artist who makes stickers for those of us who live in the real world? Teenager with goofy hair and strange piercings? Unemployed 20something with tattoos? Someone ring up Matt Groening and see if he'll license the Simpsons characters. I bet I could talk Mrs. Turk into putting Homer and Marge stickers on the back of our old Suburban.

(Of course, no offense intended to anyone here who might happen to have the aforementioned stickers on their family vehicle. The fact that you're reading this indicates all your children are above average and extremely cute. Besides, it's an improvement over "Calvin pissing...")

"Of course, that's just my opinion. I could be wrong..."

[wilson]

Unemployed 20something with tattoos

I resemble that remark...
But seriously, I effing hate those stupid stickers too.

[CathyCA]

Mind if I have a go at this? Something's been driving me nuts and I need to vent....

In my bland little corner of suburbia, many of the minvans and SUVs have these nauseating stick figures on the back window representing everyone in the household: Dad with a briefcase and Mom the tennis player (or vice versa), the kids playing whatever sport they're mediocre at. Even the fecking goldfish have a sticker. Gag me with a garden rake.

Most of the time, I can look the other way and just let it go. But in one or two instances, I know the families in said minivan, and they are NOT as they appear on the back window. Pops enjoys a little too much booze, Moms throws money around like kleenex in allergy season (or vice versa), the one kid needs a Ritalin IV drip and the other kid is an overweight blob who spends 12 hours a day on xbox. I don't see any stickers like that...

Can I get a little truth in advertising here? Is there a cynical artist who makes stickers for those of us who live in the real world? Teenager with goofy hair and strange piercings? Unemployed 20something with tattoos? Someone ring up Matt Groening and see if he'll license the Simpsons characters. I bet I could talk Mrs. Turk into putting Homer and Marge stickers on the back of our old Suburban.

(Of course, no offense intended to anyone here who might happen to have the aforementioned stickers on their family vehicle. The fact that you're reading this indicates all your children are above average and extremely cute. Besides, it's an improvement over "Calvin pissing...")

"Of course, that's just my opinion. I could be wrong..."

I hate those stickers, too.

However, my mom gave me a set of those stick figure stickers for Christmas. And I'm considering putting them on my car's back window because they are DUKE-themed!

To accurately represent one of my kids, though, I'm going to need a stick figure with goofy hair and piercings. Thankfully, as of yesterday, he is EMPLOYED!

I haven't put the stickers on my car yet, but the Duke theme is just so cute and tempting. . .

[Lavabe]

(Of course, no offense intended to anyone here who might happen to have the aforementioned stickers on their family vehicle. The fact that you're reading this indicates all your children are above average and extremely cute. Besides, it's an improvement over "Calvin pissing...")

"Of course, that's just my opinion. I could be wrong..."

I CAN'T STAND the stickers that have Calvin pissing, praying, and whatever else Calvin does. They annoy me to no end.
And the stick figures annoy me as much as those BABY ON BOARD things from the last couple of decades.

[Bostondevil]

I haven't seen this stickers. Perhaps I'm lucky? Perhaps they don't market them in Massachusetts? Perhaps I'm not quite suburban enough?

One bumper sticker I have seen though - yes, in Massachusetts - "I'll respect your president if you respect mine." Correct me if I'm wrong, but I thought we only had one president at a time. Seems to me you either respect the office or you don't.

[Very Duke Blue]

I hate Confederate flag stickers. Why not just put a sticker on that says "I'm a racist"?

[OZZIE4DUKE]

I hate Confederate flag stickers. Why not just put a sticker on that says "I'm a racist"?

Isn't that what they are doing?

[bjornolf]

Mind if I have a go at this? Something's been driving me nuts and I need to vent....

In my bland little corner of suburbia, many of the minvans and SUVs have these nauseating stick figures on the back window representing everyone in the household: Dad with a briefcase and Mom the tennis player (or vice versa), the kids playing whatever sport they're mediocre at. Even the fecking goldfish have a sticker. Gag me with a garden rake.

Most of the time, I can look the other way and just let it go. But in one or two instances, I know the families in said minivan, and they are NOT as they appear on the back window. Pops enjoys a little too much booze, Moms throws money around like kleenex in allergy season (or vice versa), the one kid needs a Ritalin IV drip and the other kid is an overweight blob who spends 12 hours a day on xbox. I don't see any stickers like that...

Can I get a little truth in advertising here? Is there a cynical artist who makes stickers for those of us who live in the real world? Teenager with goofy hair and strange piercings? Unemployed 20something with tattoos? Someone ring up Matt Groening and see if he'll license the Simpsons characters. I bet I could talk Mrs. Turk into putting Homer and Marge stickers on the back of our old Suburban.

(Of course, no offense intended to anyone here who might happen to have the aforementioned stickers on their family vehicle. The fact that you're reading this indicates all your children are above average and extremely cute. Besides, it's an improvement over "Calvin pissing...")

"Of course, that's just my opinion. I could be wrong..."

What about the ones with the dogs and cats? Or the sea turtles in place of people? Or the Christian fish instead of people? Or the pairs of flip flops? So many choices.

[lawgrad91]

As a paranoid prosecutor, I get squirmy when I see those magnets on the backs of Mom-vans with a ball, a team name, jersey number and the name of a kid on them. I would not put it past some of our sex offenders to show up at a ballfield and ask little Susie, whose name he knows because he saw her get out of the van, if she wants to walk to his car by the woods to get some ice cream.

[bjornolf]

As a paranoid prosecutor, I get squirmy when I see those magnets on the backs of Mom-vans with a ball, a team name, jersey number and the name of a kid on them. I would not put it past some of our sex offenders to show up at a ballfield and ask little Susie, whose name he knows because he saw her get out of the van, if she wants to walk to his car by the woods to get some ice cream.

My wife and I are definitely freaked out by the ones with the family's names on them. Definitely seems unsafe to us.

[captmojo]

Mind if I have a go at this? Something's been driving me nuts and I need to vent....

In my bland little corner of suburbia, many of the minvans and SUVs have these nauseating stick figures on the back window representing everyone in the household: Dad with a briefcase and Mom the tennis player (or vice versa), the kids playing whatever sport they're mediocre at. Even the fecking goldfish have a sticker. Gag me with a garden rake.

Most of the time, I can look the other way and just let it go. But in one or two instances, I know the families in said minivan, and they are NOT as they appear on the back window. Pops enjoys a little too much booze, Moms throws money around like kleenex in allergy season (or vice versa), the one kid needs a Ritalin IV drip and the other kid is an overweight blob who spends 12 hours a day on xbox. I don't see any stickers like that...

Can I get a little truth in advertising here? Is there a cynical artist who makes stickers for those of us who live in the real world? Teenager with goofy hair and strange piercings? Unemployed 20something with tattoos? Someone ring up Matt Groening and see if he'll license the Simpsons characters. I bet I could talk Mrs. Turk into putting Homer and Marge stickers on the back of our old Suburban.

(Of course, no offense intended to anyone here who might happen to have the aforementioned stickers on their family vehicle. The fact that you're reading this indicates all your children are above average and extremely cute. Besides, it's an improvement over "Calvin pissing...")

"Of course, that's just my opinion. I could be wrong..."

Here's an answer. Take your pick of any of these! http://www.bumperart.com/Honor+Student....htm

[Lavabe]

Umm, remember that t-shirt I posted a few weeks ago? It also comes in a bumper sticker.

Honestly, as much as I dislike the bumper sticker, I really enjoy the fact that he's still in their heads nearly twenty years later.

[CathyCA]

OMG! I do sooooooooooooooooo remember the first time that one of my kids (finally) made the honor roll at school and I got to put one of those "My child is an honor student at Allen School" bumper stickers on my car. You all cannot believe how thrilled and relieved I was. I'm certain that my reaction at the assembly (yes, I was one of those stay-at-home moms who attended the honors assemblies each month) embarrassed and scarred my child for life.

[Turk]

Unemployed 20something with tattoos

I resemble that remark...
But seriously, I effing hate those stupid stickers too.

Nah, I beg to differ. I don't think you resemble that remark, oh Dread Pirate Wilson, seeker of truth and knowledge, and hanging out with a cutie pie... Might even be your world and I'm just passin' thru...

[CameronBornAndBred]

OMG! I do sooooooooooooooooo remember the first time that one of my kids (finally) made the honor roll at school and I got to put one of those "My child is an honor student at Allen School" bumper stickers on my car. You all cannot believe how thrilled and relieved I was. I'm certain that my reaction at the assembly (yes, I was one of those stay-at-home moms who attended the honors assemblies each month) embarrassed and scarred my child for life.

Even though crude, I love the bumper sticker that says "My kid beat up your honor roll student".

[Turk]

As a paranoid prosecutor, I get squirmy when I see those magnets on the backs of Mom-vans with a ball, a team name, jersey number and the name of a kid on them. I would not put it past some of our sex offenders to show up at a ballfield and ask little Susie, whose name he knows because he saw her get out of the van, if she wants to walk to his car by the woods to get some ice cream.

My wife and I are definitely freaked out by the ones with the family's names on them. Definitely seems unsafe to us.

What makes me squirmy is the more likely scenario that the parents are so hypercompetitive and loudly coaching their little travel team "star" from the stands (so there's no doubt everyone knows they're the parents), that the kid gets sick of whatever sport it is and quits playing.