Re: Jokes
Posted: July 14th, 2011, 4:55 pm
Name the 7 Dwarves of Menopause:
A: Itchy, Bitchy, Sweaty, Sleepy, Bloated, Forgetful and Psycho
A: Itchy, Bitchy, Sweaty, Sleepy, Bloated, Forgetful and Psycho
captmojo wrote:The lone patrolman stopped a car for suspected drunken driving. The driver went through all the 'Stupid Human Tricks', and not very well. The officer thought one more and decided on the driver's recitation of the alphabet...but he didn't want the guy to sing it. So, he figured to have the guy stop, pre-decided, somewhere in the middle. Thus, the order was to recite the alphabet, from the beginning, to 'J'.
The driver stepped back a said, "Okay. But first, you've gotta tell me somethin'. Which one of you two fellers is Jay?"
I believe this happened in Pitt County.captmojo wrote:The lone patrolman stopped a car for suspected drunken driving. The driver went through all the 'Stupid Human Tricks', and not very well. The officer thought one more and decided on the driver's recitation of the alphabet...but he didn't want the guy to sing it. So, he figured to have the guy stop, pre-decided, somewhere in the middle. Thus, the order was to recite the alphabet, from the beginning, to 'J'.
The driver stepped back a said, "Okay. But first, you've gotta tell me somethin'. Which one of you two fellers is Jay?"
CameronBornAndBred wrote:This is from VDB's Facebook status.
A NC State fan, an Duke fan, and a UNC fan are climbing a mountain and arguing about who loves their team the most. The NC State fan insists that he is the most loyal. ''This is for State!'' he yells, and jumps off the mountain. Not to be outdone, the Duke fan is next to profess his love for his team. He yells, "This is for the Devils!" and pushes the UNC fan off the mountain.
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He should have just thrown him under the bus.CameronBornAndBred wrote:This is from VDB's Facebook status.
A NC State fan, an Duke fan, and a UNC fan are climbing a mountain and arguing about who loves their team the most. The NC State fan insists that he is the most loyal. ''This is for State!'' he yells, and jumps off the mountain. Not to be outdone, the Duke fan is next to profess his love for his team. He yells, "This is for the Devils!" and pushes the UNC fan off the mountain.
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A Duke fan couldn't do that. Throwing under the bus is 'ol Roy's job.devildeac wrote:He should have just thrown him under the bus.CameronBornAndBred wrote:This is from VDB's Facebook status.
A NC State fan, an Duke fan, and a UNC fan are climbing a mountain and arguing about who loves their team the most. The NC State fan insists that he is the most loyal. ''This is for State!'' he yells, and jumps off the mountain. Not to be outdone, the Duke fan is next to profess his love for his team. He yells, "This is for the Devils!" and pushes the UNC fan off the mountain.
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Excellent point.DukieInKansas wrote:A Duke fan couldn't do that. Throwing under the bus is 'ol Roy's job.devildeac wrote:He should have just thrown him under the bus.CameronBornAndBred wrote:This is from VDB's Facebook status.
A NC State fan, an Duke fan, and a UNC fan are climbing a mountain and arguing about who loves their team the most. The NC State fan insists that he is the most loyal. ''This is for State!'' he yells, and jumps off the mountain. Not to be outdone, the Duke fan is next to profess his love for his team. He yells, "This is for the Devils!" and pushes the UNC fan off the mountain.
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So sad.Ima Facultiwyfe wrote:Cannibal walks into a Cannibal Restaurant. Sits down to look over the menu:
Tourist $5
Broiled Missionary $10
Fried Explorer $15
Baked Democrat $100
Grilled Republican $100
"Why are the politicians so expensive?" he asks the waiter.
"Have you ever tried to clean one o' them things?", he replies. "They're so full of shit it takes us all morning!"
Love, Ima
Ima Facultiwyfe wrote: "Have you ever tried to clean one o' them things?", he replies. "They're so full of shit it takes us all morning!"
Love, Ima
Ima Facultiwyfe wrote:Cannibal walks into a Cannibal Restaurant. Sits down to look over the menu:
Tourist $5
Broiled Missionary $10
Fried Explorer $15
Baked Democrat $100
Grilled Republican $100
"Why are the politicians so expensive?" he asks the waiter.
"Have you ever tried to clean one o' them things?", he replies. "They're so full of shit it takes us all morning!"
Love, Ima
Funny!! Bud loved it too. DukePa must read.OZZIE4DUKE wrote:Subject: The Psychiatrist and the Proctologist
:
>> I love creative thinkers!
>>
>>> The Psychiatrist and the Proctologist
>>>
>>> Best friends graduated from medical school at the same time and decided that,
>>>in spite of two
>>> different specialties, they would open a practice together to share office
>>>space and personnel.
>>>
>>> Dr. Smith was the psychiatrist and Dr. Jones was the proctologist. They put up
>>>a sign reading:
>>> "Dr. Smith and Dr. Jones: Hysterias and Posteriors."
>>> The town council was livid and insisted they change it.
>>>
>>> So, the docs changed it to read: "Schizoids and Hemorrhoids."
>>> This was also not acceptable.
>>>
>>> So they again changed the sign. "Catatonics and High Colonics"......
>>> No go.
>>>
>>> Next, they tried "Manic Depressives and Anal Retentives"....
>>> thumbs down again.
>>>
>>> Then came "Minds and Behinds"....
>>> still no good.
>>> Another attempt resulted in "Lost Souls and Butt Holes".......
>>> unacceptable again!
>>> So they tried "Analysis and Anal Cysts".....
>>> not a chance.
>>> "Nuts and Butts"..... no way.
>>> "Freaks and Cheeks"..... still no good.
>>> "Loons and Moons"..... forget it.
>>>
>>> Almost at their wit's end, the docs finally came up with:
>>> "Dr. Smith and Dr. Jones-- Odds and Ends"
>>>
>>> *Everyone loved it !!!
devildeac wrote:So sad.Ima Facultiwyfe wrote:Cannibal walks into a Cannibal Restaurant. Sits down to look over the menu:
Tourist $5
Broiled Missionary $10
Fried Explorer $15
Baked Democrat $100
Grilled Republican $100
"Why are the politicians so expensive?" he asks the waiter.
"Have you ever tried to clean one o' them things?", he replies. "They're so full of shit it takes us all morning!"
Love, Ima
So true.
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