You can't make this stuff up!

[lawgrad91]

Glad to know that doctor dictation is as successful as Siri's (looking at you, DD!)

Reading a medical report from the ER and came across this: "At this point patient is alert enough and has been watched in the emergency department without any to Cherry a shin in her mental status she will be discharged back to the jail...."

I think it's supposed to be "deterioration."

Yea, voice recognition systems have their issues but proof-reading could certainly be better. It's a damn shame that every medical note now has to include the disclaimer "punctuation, grammar and spelling errors may be present but do not reflect on the quality of medical care" or something like that. When you turn physicians into damn typists, unit secretaries and medical assistants and force documentation of almost every damn movement we make, you get 10-15 page office/ER visit notes that contain about 1-2 pages of valuable information.

This anger is NOT directed at lawgrad but at the EHR/health insurance industry.

Agreed, DD. There's so much paperwork and stupidity that detracts from the actual practice of medicine. If I see it, just reading the medical reports that cross my desk, I can't imagine what you live with.

[lawgrad91]

Please, please, please, don't ever drive drunk.

But if you do, and you get stopped, and the officer says, "You were driving drunk," do not answer, "Yeah, but it was in my own car, so it's ok."

[OPK]

Please, please, please, don't ever drive drunk.

But if you do, and you get stopped, and the officer says, "You were driving drunk," do not answer, "Yeah, but it was in my own car, so it's ok."

Hard to argue with that logic.

[lawgrad91]

Plea colloquy this morning: Sir, do you have anything to say about your case?
Answer: It was not my finest hour…..

[lawgrad91]

Yesterday I got an email from one of our young troopers, wanting me to agree to close out a case. (They have to have our agreement to close out cases without charging, which is inane, but I digress.) He wrote in his summary that an "elderly" lady had her car taken by her meth head daughter, whose meth head boyfriend borrowed it and didn't return it, etc., etc., etc. He said the lady was elderly several times.

She is 59. FIFTY-NINE.

The next time I see him I am going to hit him with my cane....

[CathyCA]

Yesterday I got an email from one of our young troopers, wanting me to agree to close out a case. (They have to have our agreement to close out cases without charging, which is inane, but I digress.) He wrote in his summary that an "elderly" lady had her car taken by her meth head daughter, whose meth head boyfriend borrowed it and didn't return it, etc., etc., etc. He said the lady was elderly several times.

She is 59. FIFTY-NINE.

The next time I see him I am going to hit him with my cane....

If you don't hit him with your cane, I'll hit him with mine.

[Phredd3]

Yesterday I got an email from one of our young troopers, wanting me to agree to close out a case. (They have to have our agreement to close out cases without charging, which is inane, but I digress.) He wrote in his summary that an "elderly" lady had her car taken by her meth head daughter, whose meth head boyfriend borrowed it and didn't return it, etc., etc., etc. He said the lady was elderly several times.

She is 59. FIFTY-NINE.

The next time I see him I am going to hit him with my cane....

If you don't hit him with your cane, I'll hit him with mine.

That's good, 'cause if I try to pick up my walker, I'll fall over. On the other hand, here's an option :

[lawgrad91]

This just happened in Circuit Court…
Defense attorney: sir, are you the defendant’s uncle?
Witness: No, I’m her step daddy. And also her uncle.

[OPK]

This just happened in Circuit Court…
Defense attorney: sir, are you the defendant’s uncle?
Witness: No, I’m her step daddy. And also her uncle.

That’s how Hamlet started. So he’s just living a Shakespearean tale.

[lawgrad91]

Probationer just told the court: “I need to get out of jail to look after my 75 cows. And my wife.” (In that order…)

[lawgrad91]

Current sweatshirt in GDC. “I’m blunt because God rolled me that way.”

[OPK]

Current sweatshirt in GDC. “I’m blunt because God rolled me that way.”

Did it keep him out of the joint?

[Phredd3]

Current sweatshirt in GDC. “I’m blunt because God rolled me that way.”

Did it keep him out of the joint?

It would have, but the judge noticed that he wore it just a little too high.

[OPK]

Current sweatshirt in GDC. “I’m blunt because God rolled me that way.”

Did it keep him out of the joint?

It would have, but the judge noticed that he wore it just a little too high.

I guess he’s hoping to be out by 4.20

[lawgrad91]

Did it keep him out of the joint?

It would have, but the judge noticed that he wore it just a little too high.

I guess he’s hoping to be out by 4.20

probably about right.

[lawgrad91]

The sheriff just called about the crime of the century. A man just called him personally, wanting him to come arrest the 7 year old across the street, who peed outside in his yard. He wants him charged with indecent exposure.

[OZZIE4DUKE]

Move along. Nothing to see here.

[lawgrad91]

Move along. Nothing to see here.

My thoughts exactly.

[lawgrad91]

Here's an outstanding pickup line, from one of our local sex offenders, who wants a bond and needs an address to tell the Judge where he is going to live when he gets out. "I am in Henry co jail been locked 2 years.you want to fu** i need a place to live."

[lawgrad91]

I had a murder prelim on Monday. I suggested to the deputies that things might get heated, so there was a heavy presence in the courthouse. Unfortunately, no one listened when I suggested they keep the victim's family in the courthouse until defendant's family was gone, so there was a brouhaha in the parking lot, which included the snatching of three wigs, two of which were waved around like pompoms, and the third of which was taken elsewhere and set on fire (and the video of which was on Snapchat).