crazietalk.net

lawgrad91 wrote:As I have mentioned before, Jethro is color-blind. His mama used to pick out his clothing; now his wife does.

Apparently there was trouble in Paradise last night. Jethro is at work today wearing pants that belong on a golf course. They are kind of a deep rose color. He is wearing a blue tie. The tie has polka dots. The polka dots are, well, orange. He looks like a pimp.

Bless his sartorial heart!

CathyCA wrote:

lawgrad91 wrote:As I have mentioned before, Jethro is color-blind. His mama used to pick out his clothing; now his wife does.

Apparently there was trouble in Paradise last night. Jethro is at work today wearing pants that belong on a golf course. They are kind of a deep rose color. He is wearing a blue tie. The tie has polka dots. The polka dots are, well, orange. He looks like a pimp.

Oh my gosh! Pictures, please!

He was never in a place where I could get a picture without being obvious. He didn't have court (duh) and was mostly behind his desk micromanaging and creating more work for others.

lawgrad91 wrote:

CathyCA wrote:

lawgrad91 wrote:As I have mentioned before, Jethro is color-blind. His mama used to pick out his clothing; now his wife does.

Apparently there was trouble in Paradise last night. Jethro is at work today wearing pants that belong on a golf course. They are kind of a deep rose color. He is wearing a blue tie. The tie has polka dots. The polka dots are, well, orange. He looks like a pimp.

Oh my gosh! Pictures, please!

He was never in a place where I could get a picture without being obvious. He didn't have court (duh) and was mostly behind his desk micromanaging and creating more work for others.

lawgrad91 wrote:

CathyCA wrote:

lawgrad91 wrote:As I have mentioned before, Jethro is color-blind. His mama used to pick out his clothing; now his wife does.

Apparently there was trouble in Paradise last night. Jethro is at work today wearing pants that belong on a golf course. They are kind of a deep rose color. He is wearing a blue tie. The tie has polka dots. The polka dots are, well, orange. He looks like a pimp.

Oh my gosh! Pictures, please!

He was never in a place where I could get a picture without being obvious. He didn't have court (duh) and was mostly behind his desk micromanaging and creating more work for others.

Sigh.

I have a bond hearing on a man charged with failing to register as a sex offender.

His witness is named “Mr. Humpy.”

lawgrad91 wrote:I have a bond hearing on a man charged with failing to register as a sex offender.

His witness is named “Mr. Humpy.”

For reals?

lawgrad91 wrote:His witness is named “Mr. Humpy.”

Evidence this thread is aptly named.

A probationer would be best suited by not posting on his Facebook page: “F*cc the judge n my PO.”

lawgrad91 wrote:A probationer would be best suited by not posting on his Facebook page: “F*cc the judge n my PO.”

I gotta show up and read this thread more often. Catching up on all of this at once is just too hard on my aching sides!!!
Love, Ima

https://pilotonline.com/news/nation-wor ... 5f351.html

Not a spellcheck error, but still funny nonetheless.

lawgrad91 wrote:https://pilotonline.com/news/nation-wor ... 5f351.html

Not a spellcheck error, but still funny nonetheless.

Who is going to test their algorithm and see if GTH, C, GTH! passes the test?

DukieInKansas wrote:

lawgrad91 wrote:https://pilotonline.com/news/nation-wor ... 5f351.html

Not a spellcheck error, but still funny nonetheless.

Who is going to test their algorithm and see if GTH, C, GTH! passes the test?

Now that’s a very tempting idea! GTHc!

lawgrad91 wrote:https://pilotonline.com/news/nation-wor ... 5f351.html

Not a spellcheck error, but still funny nonetheless.

I just came here to post a link to the same article. That is hilarious.

Exhibit 864 in why a person shouldn’t use big words if he/she doesn’t know which big word he/she means.

Found in our case management system: “...Both defendants waived preliminary hearing in exchange for these matters being handled as...misdemeanors...in the circuit court with a small active amount of jail time COMMISERATE therewith.”

Commiserate means to feel sympathy for. Jethro means COMMENSURATE.

(I cleaned up his subject-verb agreement, too.)

lawgrad91 wrote:https://pilotonline.com/news/nation-wor ... 5f351.html

Not a spellcheck error, but still funny nonetheless.

As my son-in-law pointed out to me, something like this would ONLY happen in South Carolina.

lawgrad91 wrote:Exhibit 864 in why a person shouldn’t use big words if he/she doesn’t know which big word he/she means.

Found in our case management system: “...Both defendants waived preliminary hearing in exchange for these matters being handled as...misdemeanors...in the circuit court with a small active amount of jail time COMMISERATE therewith.”

Commiserate means to feel sympathy for. Jethro means COMMENSURATE.

(I cleaned up his subject-verb agreement, too.)

In law school, my business drafting professor told us that we should never use big words unless we know exactly what they mean. So, we had an opportunity to draft a business contract. There, on the first page of his draft, one of my classmates used the term, "WITNESSETH." The professor flashed this contract up on the big screen (in the days of overhead projectors) and asked my classmate, "What does 'witnesseth' mean?" My classmate stammered a bit and admitted that he didn't know what it meant, but that it sounded like a good legal term to throw in a contract.

"Take it out of the contract, and the contract still means the same thing," our professor said.

A few months later, while sitting for the bar exam in Raleigh, the silence of the test was broken by muffled giggles. I looked up and saw that classmate shaking his head and muttering, "Witnesseth." The word was included in a fact pattern on our bar exam. (It didn't add to or take away from the fact pattern, but still. . . )

CathyCA wrote:

lawgrad91 wrote:Exhibit 864 in why a person shouldn’t use big words if he/she doesn’t know which big word he/she means.

Found in our case management system: “...Both defendants waived preliminary hearing in exchange for these matters being handled as...misdemeanors...in the circuit court with a small active amount of jail time COMMISERATE therewith.”

Commiserate means to feel sympathy for. Jethro means COMMENSURATE.

(I cleaned up his subject-verb agreement, too.)

In law school, my business drafting professor told us that we should never use big words unless we know exactly what they mean. So, we had an opportunity to draft a business contract. There, on the first page of his draft, one of my classmates used the term, "WITNESSETH." The professor flashed this contract up on the big screen (in the days of overhead projectors) and asked my classmate, "What does 'witnesseth' mean?" My classmate stammered a bit and admitted that he didn't know what it meant, but that it sounded like a good legal term to throw in a contract.

"Take it out of the contract, and the contract still means the same thing," our professor said.

A few months later, while sitting for the bar exam in Raleigh, the silence of the test was broken by muffled giggles. I looked up and saw that classmate shaking his head and muttering, "Witnesseth." The word was included in a fact pattern on our bar exam. (It didn't add to or take away from the fact pattern, but still. . . )

Hehehe....

The portion I changed stated that the defendants waived preliminary hearing in exchange for these matters being handled as "a misdemeanor." Which begs the question: if two defendants are sharing one misdemeanor, does that mean there's only half the possible punishment?

Has anyone here ever pulled a muscle in his/her tongue?

lawgrad91 wrote:Has anyone here ever pulled a muscle in his/her tongue?

No, I keep mine we’ll exercised and stretched out! ;)