You can't make this stuff up!

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CathyCA
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Re: You can't make this stuff up!

Post by CathyCA » April 4th, 2018, 4:32 pm

lawgrad91 wrote:If a police officer tells a person, “I’m here investigating the theft of a bottle of vodka and some whiskey,” and the person’s response is, “I stole the Skyy vodka but didn’t take the Fireball airplane bottles,” a life of crime is probably not for them. :9f:
How much time does this person get to spend in the local Gray Bar Motel? :law-policered: :facepalm4: :laughing-lettersrofl:

:9f:
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Re: You can't make this stuff up!

Post by lawgrad91 » April 4th, 2018, 8:40 pm

CathyCA wrote:
lawgrad91 wrote:If a police officer tells a person, “I’m here investigating the theft of a bottle of vodka and some whiskey,” and the person’s response is, “I stole the Skyy vodka but didn’t take the Fireball airplane bottles,” a life of crime is probably not for them. :9f:
How much time does this person get to spend in the local Gray Bar Motel? :law-policered: :facepalm4: :laughing-lettersrofl:

:9f:
Probably a weekend. I think it’s a first offense. :9f:
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Re: You can't make this stuff up!

Post by lawgrad91 » April 5th, 2018, 11:55 am

Coworker Jessica just came back from court in high dudgeon.

She had a guy charged with a misdemeanor and a felony in district court. She told his lawyer that if he waived preliminary on the felony and took both cases to Circuit Court, she would reduce the felony to a misdemeanor so the guy wouldn't be a felon. The guy agreed.

On the way out of the courthouse, the guy stole the front desk bailiff's phone from the front desk while he was assisting someone else. X( X( X( X( X(
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Re: You can't make this stuff up!

Post by ArkieDukie » April 5th, 2018, 6:13 pm

lawgrad91 wrote:Coworker Jessica just came back from court in high dudgeon.

She had a guy charged with a misdemeanor and a felony in district court. She told his lawyer that if he waived preliminary on the felony and took both cases to Circuit Court, she would reduce the felony to a misdemeanor so the guy wouldn't be a felon. The guy agreed.

On the way out of the courthouse, the guy stole the front desk bailiff's phone from the front desk while he was assisting someone else. X( X( X( X( X(
Stupid is as stupid does.
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Re: You can't make this stuff up!

Post by lawgrad91 » April 6th, 2018, 9:26 am

It was a full moon in the Varnish Zone yesterday.

The defense attorney chair (they sit in the chair closest to the court; defendants sometimes lose control in the other chair, so the bailiffs don't let attorneys sit in that one, unless they are mad at a given lawyer) snapped off yesterday when one of the elder statesmen of the county bar leaned back in it. :-o

It's past time to buy new chairs. Those things were original to the courthouse. :9f:
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Re: You can't make this stuff up!

Post by CathyCA » April 6th, 2018, 12:04 pm

lawgrad91 wrote:It was a full moon in the Varnish Zone yesterday.

The defense attorney chair (they sit in the chair closest to the court; defendants sometimes lose control in the other chair, so the bailiffs don't let attorneys sit in that one, unless they are mad at a given lawyer) snapped off yesterday when one of the elder statesmen of the county bar leaned back in it. :-o

It's past time to buy new chairs. Those things were original to the courthouse. :9f:
OMG--I always test the courtroom chairs before I gingerly sit in them. Some of our counsel chairs give better rides than you'd find on the Tilt-A-Whirl at the State Fair! :confusion-seeingstars:

:9f:
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Re: You can't make this stuff up!

Post by Very Duke Blue » April 12th, 2018, 4:54 am

A women applied for a job with the Orange County jail. Instead of getting a job, she got arrested. She was wanted in another state. :))
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Re: You can't make this stuff up!

Post by ArkieDukie » April 12th, 2018, 8:32 am

Very Duke Blue wrote:A women applied for a job with the Orange County jail. Instead of getting a job, she got arrested. She was wanted in another state. :))
:)) Oops.
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Re: You can't make this stuff up!

Post by lawgrad91 » April 12th, 2018, 9:36 am

Very Duke Blue wrote:A women applied for a job with the Orange County jail. Instead of getting a job, she got arrested. She was wanted in another state. :))
Probably Henry County. =)) =)) :)) :))
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Re: You can't make this stuff up!

Post by Very Duke Blue » April 12th, 2018, 3:40 pm

lawgrad91 wrote:
Very Duke Blue wrote:A women applied for a job with the Orange County jail. Instead of getting a job, she got arrested. She was wanted in another state. :))
Probably Henry County. =)) =)) :)) :))
It will probably happen in Henry Co. This one was was Orange, Hillsborough, NC
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Re: You can't make this stuff up!

Post by lawgrad91 » April 13th, 2018, 6:34 pm

Very Duke Blue wrote:
lawgrad91 wrote:
Very Duke Blue wrote:A women applied for a job with the Orange County jail. Instead of getting a job, she got arrested. She was wanted in another state. :))
Probably Henry County. =)) =)) :)) :))
It will probably happen in Henry Co. This one was was Orange, Hillsborough, NC
Probably wanted out of Henry County, or out of the "State of Martinsville." (a location I didn't know existed until a bond hearing last week) :9f:
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Re: You can't make this stuff up!

Post by CathyCA » April 16th, 2018, 2:38 pm

A true sign that I am judgmental and that I am going to hell:

This morning I was in Superior Court, waiting for my case to be called. I looked at this lady lawyer and wondered why her hair looked like a squirrel's nest, and I thought to myself that she would look so much more put together if she had put on some makeup. You know, sort of like what my mom used to say to me, "Brush your hair and put some color on your lips!"

Then, the lawyer stood up to move about the courtroom and she whipped out her red-tipped white cane. She is BLIND.

I am simultaneously laughing at myself and fearing the wrath of God!

:9f:
“The invention of basketball was not an accident. It was developed to meet a need. Those boys simply would not play 'Drop the Handkerchief.'”

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Re: You can't make this stuff up!

Post by ArkieDukie » April 16th, 2018, 7:23 pm

CathyCA wrote:A true sign that I am judgmental and that I am going to hell:

This morning I was in Superior Court, waiting for my case to be called. I looked at this lady lawyer and wondered why her hair looked like a squirrel's nest, and I thought to myself that she would look so much more put together if she had put on some makeup. You know, sort of like what my mom used to say to me, "Brush your hair and put some color on your lips!"

Then, the lawyer stood up to move about the courtroom and she whipped out her red-tipped white cane. She is BLIND.

I am simultaneously laughing at myself and fearing the wrath of God!

:9f:
Oops...
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Re: You can't make this stuff up!

Post by lawgrad91 » April 17th, 2018, 8:37 am

ArkieDukie wrote:
CathyCA wrote:A true sign that I am judgmental and that I am going to hell:

This morning I was in Superior Court, waiting for my case to be called. I looked at this lady lawyer and wondered why her hair looked like a squirrel's nest, and I thought to myself that she would look so much more put together if she had put on some makeup. You know, sort of like what my mom used to say to me, "Brush your hair and put some color on your lips!"

Then, the lawyer stood up to move about the courtroom and she whipped out her red-tipped white cane. She is BLIND.

I am simultaneously laughing at myself and fearing the wrath of God!

:9f:
Oops...
Sounds like something I would do. The lady in front of me this morning has just that hair. I don’t think she is blind, though.
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Re: You can't make this stuff up!

Post by lawgrad91 » April 17th, 2018, 8:40 am

lawgrad91 wrote:Coworker Jessica just came back from court in high dudgeon.

She had a guy charged with a misdemeanor and a felony in district court. She told his lawyer that if he waived preliminary on the felony and took both cases to Circuit Court, she would reduce the felony to a misdemeanor so the guy wouldn't be a felon. The guy agreed.

On the way out of the courthouse, the guy stole the front desk bailiff's phone from the front desk while he was assisting someone else. X( X( X( X( X(
I forgot to mention the karma part of the story. Guy had just given the clerks his new address. Deputy goes to his house. He isn’t there; his girlfriend is. Turns out she has an active warrant. She gets arrested. Deputy had her call him and ask him to come home. He does. He gets arrested. Deputy does let them kiss before they go to separate jails in separate cars. :x :9f:
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Re: You can't make this stuff up!

Post by CathyCA » April 17th, 2018, 10:55 am

lawgrad91 wrote:
lawgrad91 wrote:Coworker Jessica just came back from court in high dudgeon.

She had a guy charged with a misdemeanor and a felony in district court. She told his lawyer that if he waived preliminary on the felony and took both cases to Circuit Court, she would reduce the felony to a misdemeanor so the guy wouldn't be a felon. The guy agreed.

On the way out of the courthouse, the guy stole the front desk bailiff's phone from the front desk while he was assisting someone else. X( X( X( X( X(
I forgot to mention the karma part of the story. Guy had just given the clerks his new address. Deputy goes to his house. He isn’t there; his girlfriend is. Turns out she has an active warrant. She gets arrested. Deputy had her call him and ask him to come home. He does. He gets arrested. Deputy does let them kiss before they go to separate jails in separate cars. :x :9f:
That guy was too smart for his own good.

:9f:
“The invention of basketball was not an accident. It was developed to meet a need. Those boys simply would not play 'Drop the Handkerchief.'”

~ James Naismith
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Re: You can't make this stuff up!

Post by lawgrad91 » April 17th, 2018, 11:13 am

CathyCA wrote:
lawgrad91 wrote:
lawgrad91 wrote:Coworker Jessica just came back from court in high dudgeon.

She had a guy charged with a misdemeanor and a felony in district court. She told his lawyer that if he waived preliminary on the felony and took both cases to Circuit Court, she would reduce the felony to a misdemeanor so the guy wouldn't be a felon. The guy agreed.

On the way out of the courthouse, the guy stole the front desk bailiff's phone from the front desk while he was assisting someone else. X( X( X( X( X(
I forgot to mention the karma part of the story. Guy had just given the clerks his new address. Deputy goes to his house. He isn’t there; his girlfriend is. Turns out she has an active warrant. She gets arrested. Deputy had her call him and ask him to come home. He does. He gets arrested. Deputy does let them kiss before they go to separate jails in separate cars. :x :9f:
That guy was too smart for his own good.

:9f:
If my boyfriend had done something this stupid and caused me to be arrested, I wouldn’t want to kiss him good-bye. Punch him good-bye, maybe. :9f:
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Re: You can't make this stuff up!

Post by devildeac » May 1st, 2018, 7:56 am

Researchers really wrote about this?

"Uranus stinks. And now there's scientific evidence to prove it."

https://newsela.com/read/planet-uranus-smells/id/42749/

At least I'm glad it's Uranus and not mine.

8-|
[redacted] them and the horses they rode in on.
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Re: You can't make this stuff up!

Post by lawgrad91 » May 2nd, 2018, 3:00 pm

As I have mentioned before, Jethro is color-blind. His mama used to pick out his clothing; now his wife does.

Apparently there was trouble in Paradise last night. Jethro is at work today wearing pants that belong on a golf course. They are kind of a deep rose color. He is wearing a blue tie. The tie has polka dots. The polka dots are, well, orange. He looks like a pimp. :9f:
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Re: You can't make this stuff up!

Post by CathyCA » May 2nd, 2018, 3:46 pm

lawgrad91 wrote:As I have mentioned before, Jethro is color-blind. His mama used to pick out his clothing; now his wife does.

Apparently there was trouble in Paradise last night. Jethro is at work today wearing pants that belong on a golf course. They are kind of a deep rose color. He is wearing a blue tie. The tie has polka dots. The polka dots are, well, orange. He looks like a pimp. :9f:
:text-worthless:

Oh my gosh! Pictures, please!

:9f:
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