crazietalk.net

IowaDevil wrote:

CathyCA wrote:Those of you who follow me on Pinterest have already seen this photograph today. I added it to my "Favorite Mugshots Pinboard" with the caption, "Who's the leader of the club who's made for you and me? M-I-C-K-E-Y M-O-U-S-E!"

This guy was booked in to our jail yesterday on various murder, drug and robbery charges.

Click on this link to see his picture.

http://www.reflector.com/jail-booking/124493

Mr. ID wants to know if he was wearing a UNC shirt - he thinks he looks the part!

I don't even know if they'd claim him.

Lavabe wrote:

ArkieDukie wrote:Well, I met my next door neighbor tonight. She's a total biyotch. Apparently the people in the office assigned a space to me that she's been parking in for the past 2 years. She proceeded to chew me out after I explained to her that I was assigned the space yesterday by the people in the office. She played the MD card, too. I didn't play the PhD card, since I try not to be a pretentious biyotch. I finally moved my car after thanking her for being so welcoming and neighborly.

The MD Card? Isn't that right out of the Minion playbook?

Yes it is. New neighbor appears to be a fairly new MD, judging from her age. Not all MDs are asshats, but she has not received that memo yet.

Lavabe wrote:

ArkieDukie wrote:I will not have cable or internet service until Sunday. That's what I get for not calling earlier.

You avoided the stormy weather on your way down to Texas?

It rained on me a little bit, but nothing more serious than that. did the evil tornadoes come close to you?

It's been foggy here for the past several days, but I'm not complaining. I seem to recall that people who live on the beach are assessed penalties for complaining about the weather.

CathyCA wrote:

ArkieDukie wrote:Well, I met my next door neighbor tonight. She's a total biyotch. Apparently the people in the office assigned a space to me that she's been parking in for the past 2 years. She proceeded to chew me out after I explained to her that I was assigned the space yesterday by the people in the office. She played the MD card, too. I didn't play the PhD card, since I try not to be a pretentious biyotch. I finally moved my car after thanking her for being so welcoming and neighborly.

Man, I hope you don't trip and fall near her car when you bring in that bag of roofing nails you're planning to buy at the Home Depot.

That would be awful, wouldn't it? It would also be a shame if I tripped and spilled a bottle of mercaptoethanol in her car.

For those of you playing along at home, mercaptans are sulfur containing compounds that do not smell pleasant.

ArkieDukie wrote:Well, I met my next door neighbor tonight. She's a total biyotch. Apparently the people in the office assigned a space to me that she's been parking in for the past 2 years. She proceeded to chew me out after I explained to her that I was assigned the space yesterday by the people in the office. She played the MD card, too. I didn't play the PhD card, since I try not to be a pretentious biyotch. I finally moved my car after thanking her for being so welcoming and neighborly.

My stock responses to people who play the doctor/lawyer/native american chief card in non-relevant situations are:

So?
or
Why does that matter?
or
Well then with your level of education, you should know better.
or
..and you believe there are special privileges that come with that career?

ArkieDukie wrote:Well, I met my next door neighbor tonight. She's a total biyotch. Apparently the people in the office assigned a space to me that she's been parking in for the past 2 years. She proceeded to chew me out after I explained to her that I was assigned the space yesterday by the people in the office. She played the MD card, too. I didn't play the PhD card, since I try not to be a pretentious biyotch. I finally moved my car after thanking her for being so welcoming and neighborly.

Bet she had a UNC sticker on that car!

windsor wrote:

ArkieDukie wrote:Well, I met my next door neighbor tonight. She's a total biyotch. Apparently the people in the office assigned a space to me that she's been parking in for the past 2 years. She proceeded to chew me out after I explained to her that I was assigned the space yesterday by the people in the office. She played the MD card, too. I didn't play the PhD card, since I try not to be a pretentious biyotch. I finally moved my car after thanking her for being so welcoming and neighborly.

My stock responses to people who play the doctor/lawyer/native american chief card in non-relevant situations are:

So?
or
Why does that matter?
or
Well then with your level of education, you should know better.
or
..and you believe there are special privileges that come with that career?

I always liked the "Well, with your level of education, you should know better."

Or my Mom's response to an MD who hadn't gotten the non-asshat memo and said he couldn't believe how stupid people from Virginia were: "Well, I guess that's why you moved here, so you'd feel right at home."

ArkieDukie wrote:That would be awful, wouldn't it? It would also be a shame if I tripped and spilled a bottle of mercaptoethanol in her car.

For those of you playing along at home, mercaptans are sulfur containing compounds that do not smell pleasant.

Damn chemistry humor!!

ArkieDukie wrote:

CathyCA wrote:

ArkieDukie wrote:Well, I met my next door neighbor tonight. She's a total biyotch. Apparently the people in the office assigned a space to me that she's been parking in for the past 2 years. She proceeded to chew me out after I explained to her that I was assigned the space yesterday by the people in the office. She played the MD card, too. I didn't play the PhD card, since I try not to be a pretentious biyotch. I finally moved my car after thanking her for being so welcoming and neighborly.

Man, I hope you don't trip and fall near her car when you bring in that bag of roofing nails you're planning to buy at the Home Depot.

That would be awful, wouldn't it? It would also be a shame if I tripped and spilled a bottle of mercaptoethanol in her car.

For those of you playing along at home, mercaptans are sulfur containing compounds that do not smell pleasant.

I occasionally contain sulfur compounds that do not smell pleasant. Does that make me a mercaptan?

ArkieDukie wrote:

CathyCA wrote:

ArkieDukie wrote:Well, I met my next door neighbor tonight. She's a total biyotch. Apparently the people in the office assigned a space to me that she's been parking in for the past 2 years. She proceeded to chew me out after I explained to her that I was assigned the space yesterday by the people in the office. She played the MD card, too. I didn't play the PhD card, since I try not to be a pretentious biyotch. I finally moved my car after thanking her for being so welcoming and neighborly.

Man, I hope you don't trip and fall near her car when you bring in that bag of roofing nails you're planning to buy at the Home Depot.

That would be awful, wouldn't it? It would also be a shame if I tripped and spilled a bottle of mercaptoethanol in her car.

For those of you playing along at home, mercaptans are sulfur containing compounds that do not smell pleasant.

Is that the stuff that smells like dead toenails?

lawgrad91 wrote:

windsor wrote:

ArkieDukie wrote:Well, I met my next door neighbor tonight. She's a total biyotch. Apparently the people in the office assigned a space to me that she's been parking in for the past 2 years. She proceeded to chew me out after I explained to her that I was assigned the space yesterday by the people in the office. She played the MD card, too. I didn't play the PhD card, since I try not to be a pretentious biyotch. I finally moved my car after thanking her for being so welcoming and neighborly.

My stock responses to people who play the doctor/lawyer/native american chief card in non-relevant situations are:

So?
or
Why does that matter?
or
Well then with your level of education, you should know better.
or
..and you believe there are special privileges that come with that career?

I always liked the "Well, with your level of education, you should know better."

Or my Mom's response to an MD who hadn't gotten the non-asshat memo and said he couldn't believe how stupid people from Virginia were: "Well, I guess that's why you moved here, so you'd feel right at home."

My mom is so cute. When people pull that mess on her, she asks them where they work, and proceeds to tell them that Dr. or Professor or Judge So-and-So from that work site is her neighbor or in her Sunday School class, or that she taught their child, and that she will be sure to tell them that she met Asshat. It's extremely disarming.

It's also one of the side benefits to living in a small town for more than 20 years. My mom knows almost everybody, or taught almost everybody.

CathyCA wrote:My mom is so cute. When people pull that mess on her, she asks them where they work, and proceeds to tell them that Dr. or Professor or Judge So-and-So from that work site is her neighbor or in her Sunday School class, or that she taught their child, and that she will be sure to tell them that she met Asshat. It's extremely disarming.

It's also one of the side benefits to living in a small town for more than 20 years. My mom knows almost everybody, or taught almost everybody.

Which reminds me of this joke:

A prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman, to the stand. He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"
She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a young boy. And frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a rising big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you."

The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do he pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs. Williams, do you know the defense attorney?"

She again replied, "Why, yes I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. I used to baby-sit him for his parents. And he, too, has been a real disappointment to me. He's lazy, bigoted, he has a drinking problem. The man can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the shoddiest in the entire state. Yes, I know him."

At this point, the judge rapped the courtroom to silence and called both counselors to the bench. In a very quiet voice, he said with menace, "If either of you asks her if she knows me, you'll be jailed for contempt!"

windsor wrote:

CathyCA wrote:My mom is so cute. When people pull that mess on her, she asks them where they work, and proceeds to tell them that Dr. or Professor or Judge So-and-So from that work site is her neighbor or in her Sunday School class, or that she taught their child, and that she will be sure to tell them that she met Asshat. It's extremely disarming.

It's also one of the side benefits to living in a small town for more than 20 years. My mom knows almost everybody, or taught almost everybody.

Which reminds me of this joke:

A prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman, to the stand. He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"
She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a young boy. And frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a rising big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you."

The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do he pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs. Williams, do you know the defense attorney?"

She again replied, "Why, yes I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. I used to baby-sit him for his parents. And he, too, has been a real disappointment to me. He's lazy, bigoted, he has a drinking problem. The man can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the shoddiest in the entire state. Yes, I know him."

At this point, the judge rapped the courtroom to silence and called both counselors to the bench. In a very quiet voice, he said with menace, "If either of you asks her if she knows me, you'll be jailed for contempt!"

Oh yeah! That's my mama!

My mom appears at 2:12 in the Women's Weekend Slideshow: http://dukealumni.com/alumni-communitie ... ns-weekend

She's pictured with her Duke roommie and two young alumnae they adopted for the weekend.

Found out I can watch the game in the fitness room. There's also wireless, so I will try to chat from my iPad.

Also found out that the neighbor was as rude to the office people as they were to me. The lady in the office called to apologize and to get their car info to put in the database. The answer was, "I don't have time to do that. I'm a doctor." what an asshat.

ArkieDukie wrote:Also found out that the neighbor was as rude to the office people as they were to me.

Wait a minute... they were rude to you?

Lavabe wrote:

ArkieDukie wrote:Also found out that the neighbor was as rude to the office people as they were to me.

Wait a minute... they were rude to you?

I'm referring to parking space neighbor. Turns out it's a husband/wife pretentious duo. Wife MD chewed me out; hubby MD chewed out office lady. Granted, it was her mistake, but why be uncooperative and rude when she's trying to fix it? She wants the info for your car to put in the records so the mistake doesn't happen again, and you tell her, "I'm a doctor; I don't have time for this"? No wonder you lost your spot, asshat.

Does anyone else get the catalogs to order 'Great Courses"? They're lectures by Professors (some pretty well known in their field..some are 'who??') ? I've gotten the things for years and another came yesterday. This time they were having a fire sale on the things. The short version is I just sprung for the Quantum Physics series (Dr. Benjamin Schumacher presenting). Downloaded the first couple of lectures. My geek heart is singing ..singing... with joy. They are awesome. They are beyond awesome.

I do love me some quantum physics.

I am such a geek.

Went on a couple trips out of town; looked forward to getting back to my own comfy bed to find out it really wasn't all that comfy any more.

So I went poking around the interwebs and popped into the local mattress megawarehouse. Found all sorts of information on materials and support, but no ratings whatsoever on which ones have the best traction. Also noticed that in all marketing and advertising materials, if you can see the hands of the smiling happy customers, there will always be a ring of some kind on the left ring finger. I didn't get very far - this transaction is entirely too complicated for a product I will be using while unconscious. I would have had more fun sticking knitting needles through my eardrums or re-watching last night's tarhole game...

Turk wrote:Went on a couple trips out of town; looked forward to getting back to my own comfy bed to find out it really wasn't all that comfy any more.

So I went poking around the interwebs and popped into the local mattress megawarehouse. Found all sorts of information on materials and support, but no ratings whatsoever on which ones have the best traction. Also noticed that in all marketing and advertising materials, if you can see the hands of the smiling happy customers, there will always be a ring of some kind on the left ring finger. I didn't get very far - this transaction is entirely too complicated for a product I will be using while unconscious. I would have had more fun sticking knitting needles through my eardrums or re-watching last night's tarhole game...

Take the easy path, like I did. I went to overstock.com and bought a 3 inch tempurpedic foam pad for my current matress...cost about $100, and I love it.