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I had two guys charged with subornation of perjury for trying to set up an alibi in a robbery case.

Guy number one called his girlfriend to ask her to testify for guy 2. Guy 1 told the wife how bad guy 2's life was, and told her guy 2's mother is dying. He says she is diabetic, she is on oxygen, and she wears a "Wall Street bag."

WALL STREET, COLOSTOMY, whatever.....

lawgrad91 wrote:I had two guys charged with subornation of perjury for trying to set up an alibi in a robbery case.

Guy number one called his girlfriend to ask her to testify for guy 2. Guy 1 told the wife how bad guy 2's life was, and told her guy 2's mother is dying. He says she is diabetic, she is on oxygen, and she wears a "Wall Street bag."

WALL STREET, COLOSTOMY, whatever.....

CathyCA wrote:

lawgrad91 wrote:I had two guys charged with subornation of perjury for trying to set up an alibi in a robbery case.

Guy number one called his girlfriend to ask her to testify for guy 2. Guy 1 told the wife how bad guy 2's life was, and told her guy 2's mother is dying. He says she is diabetic, she is on oxygen, and she wears a "Wall Street bag."

WALL STREET, COLOSTOMY, whatever.....

He may have it right because there are a few shit bags on Wall Street

DukePA wrote:

CathyCA wrote:

lawgrad91 wrote:I had two guys charged with subornation of perjury for trying to set up an alibi in a robbery case.

Guy number one called his girlfriend to ask her to testify for guy 2. Guy 1 told the wife how bad guy 2's life was, and told her guy 2's mother is dying. He says she is diabetic, she is on oxygen, and she wears a "Wall Street bag."

WALL STREET, COLOSTOMY, whatever.....

He may have it right because there are a few shit bags on Wall Street

It is possible I may have referred to them as "douchebags" but not colostomy bags, though that works too.

lawgrad91 wrote:I had two guys charged with subornation of perjury for trying to set up an alibi in a robbery case.

Guy number one called his girlfriend to ask her to testify for guy 2. Guy 1 told the wife how bad guy 2's life was, and told her guy 2's mother is dying. He says she is diabetic, she is on oxygen, and she wears a "Wall Street bag."

WALL STREET, COLOSTOMY, whatever.....

Pro tip: If one of you ever (God forbid) find yourself being the victim of a crime and taking out a charge against another person, the DA will take your case much more seriously if you use appropriate language.

The DA will NOT take you seriously if your complaint includes the following: "she grabbed me by the nuts and that's when I went upside her head."

lawgrad91 wrote:Pro tip: If one of you ever (God forbid) find yourself being the victim of a crime and taking out a charge against another person, the DA will take your case much more seriously if you use appropriate language.

The DA will NOT take you seriously if your complaint includes the following: "she grabbed me by the nuts and that's when I went upside her head."

Well, I can understand his point!

lawgrad91 wrote:Pro tip: If one of you ever (God forbid) find yourself being the victim of a crime and taking out a charge against another person, the DA will take your case much more seriously if you use appropriate language.

The DA will NOT take you seriously if your complaint includes the following: "she grabbed me by the nuts and that's when I went upside her head."

lawgrad91 wrote:Pro tip: If one of you ever (God forbid) find yourself being the victim of a crime and taking out a charge against another person, the DA will take your case much more seriously if you use appropriate language.

The DA will NOT take you seriously if your complaint includes the following: "she grabbed me by the nuts and that's when I went upside her head."

LOL LOL LOL

Another pro tip: the time to call the auto insurance company and add collision is BEFORE you wreck the car, not at the scene of the wreck before you call 911.

lawgrad91 wrote:Another pro tip: the time to call the auto insurance company and add collision is BEFORE you wreck the car, not at the scene of the wreck before you call 911.

lawgrad91 wrote:I had two guys charged with subornation of perjury for trying to set up an alibi in a robbery case.

Guy number one called his girlfriend to ask her to testify for guy 2. Guy 1 told the wife how bad guy 2's life was, and told her guy 2's mother is dying. He says she is diabetic, she is on oxygen, and she wears a "Wall Street bag."

WALL STREET, COLOSTOMY, whatever.....

Another classic by this Einstein clone.

A defense attorney is entitled to certain information from the prosecutor. It is called discovery, and the defense attorney gets it by filing a MOTION FOR DISCOVERY.

So today Einstein tells his woman his lawyer isn't doing anything for him, and she needs to call the lawyer and ask for "EMOTIONAL DISCOVERY." He is adamant that he needs his EMOTIONAL DISCOVERY.

lawgrad91 wrote:

lawgrad91 wrote:I had two guys charged with subornation of perjury for trying to set up an alibi in a robbery case.

Guy number one called his girlfriend to ask her to testify for guy 2. Guy 1 told the wife how bad guy 2's life was, and told her guy 2's mother is dying. He says she is diabetic, she is on oxygen, and she wears a "Wall Street bag."

WALL STREET, COLOSTOMY, whatever.....

Another classic by this Einstein clone.

A defense attorney is entitled to certain information from the prosecutor. It is called discovery, and the defense attorney gets it by filing a MOTION FOR DISCOVERY.

So today Einstein tells his woman his lawyer isn't doing anything for him, and she needs to call the lawyer and ask for "EMOTIONAL DISCOVERY." He is adamant that he needs his EMOTIONAL DISCOVERY.

It is always good to try to get in touch with your inner self.

lawgrad91 wrote:

lawgrad91 wrote:I had two guys charged with subornation of perjury for trying to set up an alibi in a robbery case.

Guy number one called his girlfriend to ask her to testify for guy 2. Guy 1 told the wife how bad guy 2's life was, and told her guy 2's mother is dying. He says she is diabetic, she is on oxygen, and she wears a "Wall Street bag."

WALL STREET, COLOSTOMY, whatever.....

Another classic by this Einstein clone.

A defense attorney is entitled to certain information from the prosecutor. It is called discovery, and the defense attorney gets it by filing a MOTION FOR DISCOVERY.

So today Einstein tells his woman his lawyer isn't doing anything for him, and she needs to call the lawyer and ask for "EMOTIONAL DISCOVERY." He is adamant that he needs his EMOTIONAL DISCOVERY.

Okay, now I'm humming, "I'll be your savior, steadfast and true. I'll come to your emotional rescue. I'll come to your emotional rescue."

Pro tip: to "hit on" someone means something entirely different than "putting a hit on" someone.

About 20 to life different?

There is a metal detector at the door of the courthouse. People have to empty their pockets before going through the metal detector.

Therefore, it is advisable for a person to leave his/her baggie of methamphetamine in the car/at home/anywhere the hell else than his/her pocket before coming into the courthouse.

lawgrad91 wrote:There is a metal detector at the door of the courthouse. People have to empty their pockets before going through the metal detector.

Therefore, it is advisable for a person to leave his/her baggie of methamphetamine in the car/at home/anywhere the hell else than his/her pocket before coming into the courthouse.

File this under "Things you shouldn't have to be told".

DukieInKansas wrote:

lawgrad91 wrote:There is a metal detector at the door of the courthouse. People have to empty their pockets before going through the metal detector.

Therefore, it is advisable for a person to leave his/her baggie of methamphetamine in the car/at home/anywhere the hell else than his/her pocket before coming into the courthouse.

File this under "Things you shouldn't have to be told".

The real irony is he was supposed to be pleading guilty yesterday, and told the judge he wanted to fire his public defender and hire an attorney, most likely as a ploy to still be out on bond for Christmas (he was getting about 4 years in an agreed-upon sentence). Didn't work out too well for him, as Santa is not on the list of approved visitors for his pod.

lawgrad91 wrote:There is a metal detector at the door of the courthouse. People have to empty their pockets before going through the metal detector.

Therefore, it is advisable for a person to leave his/her baggie of methamphetamine in the car/at home/anywhere the hell else than his/her pocket before coming into the courthouse.

OMG.