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I'm with Cathy. They are funny.

Yep. funny.
Love, Ima

OMG. On TruTV network, right now (Monday, 10 pm), there is a program called Lizard Lick Towing about repossessing cars in Lizard Lick, NC. Talk about a joke!

Too funny!

OZZIE4DUKE wrote:OMG. On TruTV network, right now (Monday, 10 pm), there is a program called Lizard Lick Towing about repossessing cars in Lizard Lick, NC. Talk about a joke!

You just now findin' this?
I have actually been there to pick up repos from them and take to auction. They seemed like nice people. I watch.

captmojo wrote:

OZZIE4DUKE wrote:OMG. On TruTV network, right now (Monday, 10 pm), there is a program called Lizard Lick Towing about repossessing cars in Lizard Lick, NC. Talk about a joke!

You just now findin' this?
I have actually been there to pick up repos from them and take to auction. They seemed like nice people. I watch.

I got a "kick" out of the guy lending the girl money to get stuff out of her car when she didn't have $50, then expecting to get "something" from her in return. Of course, all he got was a swift shot in the nuts and was last seen writhing on the ground with the others laughing at him!

A guy walks into a bar carrying some asphalt on his shoulder. He says to the bartender, "A beer for me and one for the road."

CathyCA wrote:A guy walks into a bar carrying some asphalt on his shoulder. He says to the bartender, "A beer for me and one for the road."

I'll give that one

OZZIE4DUKE wrote:

CathyCA wrote:A guy walks into a bar carrying some asphalt on his shoulder. He says to the bartender, "A beer for me and one for the road."

I'll give that one

I'll give it

This one is for all the PK's in our midst, and there are several!

The Pastor's Ass

The Pastor entered his
donkey in a race and
it won.

The Pastor was so pleased
with the donkey
that he entered it in the
race again and it won again.


The local paper read:
PASTOR'S
ASS OUT FRONT.

The Bishop was so upset
ith this kind of
publicity that he ordered
the Pastor not to enter
the donkey in another race.


The next day the
local paper headline
read:
BISHOP
SCRATCHES
PASTOR’S
ASS.
This was too much for the
Bishop so he
ordered the Pastor to get
rid of the donkey.

The Pastor decided to give
it to a Nun in a
nearby convent.

The local paper,
hearing of the news,
posted the following headline
the next day:

NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN.

The Bishop fainted.

He informed the Nun
that she would have to
get rid of the donkey so she
sold it to a farmer for $10.
The next day the paper read:

NUN SELLS
ASS FOR $10.

This was too much for the
Bishop so he ordered the
Nun to buy back
the donkey and
lead it to the plains where
it could run wild.

The next day the
headlines read:

NUN ANNOUNCES
HER ASS IS WILD
AND FREE..

The Bishop was buried the next day.

The moral of the story is . . .


Stop worrying about everyone else's ass!

OZZIE4DUKE wrote:This one is for all the PK's in our midst, and there are several!

The moral of the story is . . .


Stop worrying about everyone else's ass!

OZZIE4DUKE wrote:This one is for all the PK's in our midst, and there are several!

The Pastor's Ass

The Pastor entered his
donkey in a race and
it won.

The Pastor was so pleased
with the donkey
that he entered it in the
race again and it won again.


The local paper read:
PASTOR'S
ASS OUT FRONT.

The Bishop was so upset
ith this kind of
publicity that he ordered
the Pastor not to enter
the donkey in another race.


The next day the
local paper headline
read:
BISHOP
SCRATCHES
PASTOR’S
ASS.
This was too much for the
Bishop so he
ordered the Pastor to get
rid of the donkey.

The Pastor decided to give
it to a Nun in a
nearby convent.

The local paper,
hearing of the news,
posted the following headline
the next day:

NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN.

The Bishop fainted.

He informed the Nun
that she would have to
get rid of the donkey so she
sold it to a farmer for $10.
The next day the paper read:

NUN SELLS
ASS FOR $10.

This was too much for the
Bishop so he ordered the
Nun to buy back
the donkey and
lead it to the plains where
it could run wild.

The next day the
headlines read:

NUN ANNOUNCES
HER ASS IS WILD
AND FREE..

The Bishop was buried the next day.

The moral of the story is . . .


Stop worrying about everyone else's ass!

I love that joke! Thank you, Ozzie.

Love, a PK

OZZIE4DUKE wrote:This one is for all the PK's in our midst, and there are several!

The Pastor's Ass

The Pastor entered his
donkey in a race and
it won.

The Pastor was so pleased
with the donkey
that he entered it in the
race again and it won again.


The local paper read:
PASTOR'S
ASS OUT FRONT.

The Bishop was so upset
ith this kind of
publicity that he ordered
the Pastor not to enter
the donkey in another race.


The next day the
local paper headline
read:
BISHOP
SCRATCHES
PASTOR’S
ASS.
This was too much for the
Bishop so he
ordered the Pastor to get
rid of the donkey.

The Pastor decided to give
it to a Nun in a
nearby convent.

The local paper,
hearing of the news,
posted the following headline
the next day:

NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN.

The Bishop fainted.

He informed the Nun
that she would have to
get rid of the donkey so she
sold it to a farmer for $10.
The next day the paper read:

NUN SELLS
ASS FOR $10.

This was too much for the
Bishop so he ordered the
Nun to buy back
the donkey and
lead it to the plains where
it could run wild.

The next day the
headlines read:

NUN ANNOUNCES
HER ASS IS WILD
AND FREE..

The Bishop was buried the next day.

The moral of the story is . . .


Stop worrying about everyone else's ass!

Hee hee.

(Another PK)

CathyCA wrote:

Pastor's Kid Publicizes Condom Accident

From Jarhead OY:



Oh, wait a minute, this is the Joke thread.

Economic lesson for today...
Subject:

$7.00 Sex



An Arizona couple, both well into their 80's, go to a sex therapist's office.
The doctor asks, 'What can I do for you?'
The man says, 'Will you watch us have sexual intercourse?'
The doctor raises both eyebrows, but he is so amazed that such an elderly couple is asking for sexual advice that he agrees.

When the couple finishes, the doctor says, 'There's absolutely nothing wrong with the way you have intercourse..'



He thanks them for coming, he wishes them good luck, he charges them $50 and he says good bye.


The next week, the same couple returns and asks the sex therapist to watch again. The sex therapist is a bit puzzled, but agrees.

This happens several weeks in a row

The couple makes an appointment, has intercourse with no problems, pays the doctor, then leave.

Finally, after 3 months of this routine, the doctor says, 'I'm sorry, but I have to ask. Just what are you trying to find out?'


The man says, 'We're not trying to find out anything.

She's married; so we can't go to her house.

I'm married; and we can't go to my house.

The Holiday Inn charges $98.

The Hilton charges $139.

We do it here for $50, and
Medicare pays $43 of it, leaving my net cost of $7.





SHAME ON YOU FOR LAUGHING AT THAT...!!!!!!

I just caught up on the jokes. Toooooo funny.

devildeac wrote:From Jarhead OY:



Oh, wait a minute, this is the Joke thread.

Yep. This is more in line with being placed in the 'Reality' thread.
Wait. Oh yeah. You did the right thing. It can belong here.

OZZIE4DUKE wrote:Economic lesson for today...
Subject:

$7.00 Sex



An Arizona couple, both well into their 80's, go to a sex therapist's office.
The doctor asks, 'What can I do for you?'
The man says, 'Will you watch us have sexual intercourse?'
The doctor raises both eyebrows, but he is so amazed that such an elderly couple is asking for sexual advice that he agrees.

When the couple finishes, the doctor says, 'There's absolutely nothing wrong with the way you have intercourse..'



He thanks them for coming, he wishes them good luck, he charges them $50 and he says good bye.


The next week, the same couple returns and asks the sex therapist to watch again. The sex therapist is a bit puzzled, but agrees.

This happens several weeks in a row

The couple makes an appointment, has intercourse with no problems, pays the doctor, then leave.

Finally, after 3 months of this routine, the doctor says, 'I'm sorry, but I have to ask. Just what are you trying to find out?'


The man says, 'We're not trying to find out anything.

She's married; so we can't go to her house.

I'm married; and we can't go to my house.

The Holiday Inn charges $98.

The Hilton charges $139.

We do it here for $50, and
Medicare pays $43 of it, leaving my net cost of $7.





SHAME ON YOU FOR LAUGHING AT THAT...!!!!!!

I have told that joke (or a variation of it) to several of my elderly patients and couples over the years. They have found it amusing.