Cage Match, Wrestling and Boxing, Who Would Win?

EarlJam · Post by **EarlJam** » April 21st, 2009, 1:03 am

Discuss.

The field is eight. A player wins by knocking the opponent out on a ten count. It's in a cage. Fist and kicks and claws only. Single elimination.

You have to fill out your bracket. Who do you have in the final two and, for the poll, who do you have winning it all?

Discuss.

-EJ

Miles · Post by **Miles** » April 21st, 2009, 1:58 am

Shirts Bracket
1. George Washington - George gets number in
2. Thomas Jefferson
3. Benjiman Franklin
4. Abraham Lincoln

Skins Bracket
1. Theodore Roosevelt
2. Ronald Reagan
3. The artist formally known as Prince
4. Gandhi

Round One:
1. George Washington vs. 4. Ronald Reagan
2. Thomas Jefferson vs. 3. Ben Franklin

1. Teddy Roosevelt vs. 4. Gandhi
2. Ronald Reagan vs. 3. Prince-guy

Semi-finals:
1. George Washington vs. 2. Thomas Jefferson
1. Teddy ROosevelt vs. 3. Prince-guy

Final:
1. George Washington vs. 3. Prince-guy

Champion: Prince! If you need to ask why, then you'll never know.

bjornolf · Post by **bjornolf** » April 21st, 2009, 10:07 am

BTW, the artist formerly known as Prince is now calling himself Prince again. JFYI.

bjornolf · Post by **bjornolf** » April 21st, 2009, 10:10 am

For the presidents, is this in their prime, or is it when they were presidents? In their primes, Washington would be pretty high. Soldier and tough guy in the Revolutionary War. I think Reagan played football as a young man, but was awfully old by the time he held office. Teddy was pretty tough, too, but he was mostly just a gun man. Don't think he'd do to well sans weapons. Abe had so many health problems, I don't think I'd take him. In an honest cage match, Ghandi would just sit there and let the other guy pummel him, so that's hardly a good entrant. Jefferson was more of a statesman than a warrior, as was Ben Franklin. Of course, if you let Franklin sneak a couple of things into the ring with him, he could probably pull a MacGyver and take out just about anybody. Prince is in GREAT physical shape, but I don't know about any combat experience he has. I just have this vision of him slap fighting in one of those purple leather jumpsuits of his.

Straight cage match, hands and feet only, in their prime, my money would have to be on Reagan and Washington in the finals, Washington probably takes it. Sizewise, they'd be pretty even. Washington was a couple inches over 6', Reagan was 6'1". Would be a good fight.

Miles · Post by **Miles** » July 29th, 2009, 9:20 am

Miles wrote:Champion: Prince! If you need to ask why, then you'll never know.

http://www.comedycentral.com/videos/ind ... ies-prince
Rated PG-13

bjornolf · Post by **bjornolf** » July 29th, 2009, 9:26 am

Of course, Prince is the only one still alive. So if it were today, and they just carted out the corpses of his foes, I'd have to take Prince in a landslide. ;) Not to mention if he whipped out that yellow banana hammock of his, any of his opponents would run screaming.

Post by **wilson** » July 29th, 2009, 9:29 am

bjornolf wrote:For the presidents, is this in their prime, or is it when they were presidents? In their primes, Washington would be pretty high. Soldier and tough guy in the Revolutionary War. I think Reagan played football as a young man, but was awfully old by the time he held office. Teddy was pretty tough, too, but he was mostly just a gun man. Don't think he'd do to well sans weapons. Abe had so many health problems, I don't think I'd take him. In an honest cage match, Ghandi would just sit there and let the other guy pummel him, so that's hardly a good entrant. Jefferson was more of a statesman than a warrior, as was Ben Franklin. Of course, if you let Franklin sneak a couple of things into the ring with him, he could probably pull a MacGyver and take out just about anybody. Prince is in GREAT physical shape, but I don't know about any combat experience he has. I just have this vision of him slap fighting in one of those purple leather jumpsuits of his.

Straight cage match, hands and feet only, in their prime, my money would have to be on Reagan and Washington in the finals, Washington probably takes it. Sizewise, they'd be pretty even. Washington was a couple inches over 6', Reagan was 6'1". Would be a good fight.

I missed this thread the first time around. I agree with your assessment of Washington, though consensus holds that he was more like about 6'4". He was widely acknowledged as an exceptionally tall man for the age, and his imposing physical stature was among the reasons cited by some for choosing him as the first president. He was also a superior horseman, and known to be an excellent dancer (seriously). Finally, in an age when they were the most-admired physical attribute of a man, he drew frequent swooning complements of his...calf muscles. I'm not making this up.
Reagan's a pretty good choice, I guess. He did play college football, but it was at Eureka College. I think you're neglecting Gerald Ford. He played on two national championship football teams at Michigan, and was drafted by the Green Bay Packers, though he turned them down. I think he'd easily best Reagan. I'll take Ford and Washington in the finals, with Ford taking the bacon.
Speaking of bacon, give me William Howard Taft as a sleeper pick. He weighed in at well over 300 pounds, and would be a handful (or six) in any hand-to-hand combat. He was also the only president ever to get stuck in a bathtub, as well as the last president to sport facial hair while in office (a flippin' sweet mustache).

bjornolf · Post by **bjornolf** » July 29th, 2009, 9:38 am

I couldn't remember Washington's exact height. A History channel show I was watching the other week said that he'd been estimated at anywhere between 6'1" and 6'6", so I wasn't sure. I figured "a couple inches over six feet" would have covered it. ;)

And as for Taft, I would think you could just run around and avoid him 'til he collapsed.

Post by **wilson** » July 29th, 2009, 9:39 am

bjornolf wrote:I couldn't remember Washington's exact height. A History channel show I was watching the other week said that he'd been estimated at anywhere between 6'1" and 6'6", so I wasn't sure. I figured "a couple inches over six feet" would have covered it. ;)

Fair enough. But Gerald Ford would still kick Ronald Reagan's butt. ;)

Miles · Post by **Miles** » July 29th, 2009, 9:39 am

bjornolf wrote:Of course, Prince is the only one still alive. So if it were today, and they just carted out the corpses of his foes, I'd have to take Prince in a landslide. ;) Not to mention if he whipped out that yellow banana hammock of his, any of his opponents would run screaming.

If they were all alive, at any point in history, Prince would take them all. Just ask Charlie Murphy.

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