Here are some suggestions for which type of bread is appropriate for specific sins:
For ordinary sins - White Bread
For erotic sins - French Bread
For dark sins - Pumpernickel
For complex sins - Multi-Grain
For twisted sins - Pretzels
For tasteless sins - Rice Cakes
For sins committed in haste - Matzoh
For sins of chutzpah - Fresh Bread
For substance abuse - Stoned Wheat
For use of heavy drugs - Poppy Seed
For auto theft - Caraway
For ill-temperedness - Sourdough
For eccentricity - Nut Bread
For extreme eccentricity - Banana Nut Bread
For not giving full value - Shortbread
For excessive irony - Rye Bread
For unnecessary chances - Hero
For telling dad jokes - Corn Bread
For war-mongering - Kaiser Rolls
For promiscuity - Hot Buns
For promiscuity with Christians - Hot Cross Buns,
For racism - Crackers
For sophisticated racism - Ritz Crackers
For being holier than thou - Bagels
For dropping in without notice - Popovers
For overeating - Stuffing
For raising your voice - Challah
For egotism - Puff Pastry
For ass-kissing - Brownies
For being overly smothering - Angel Food cake
For wild youth - Oat bread
For stinginess - Crumbs
For unfaithfulness - Turnovers
For sins of omission - Naan
For masochism - Pain de mie
For humor at the expense of others - Laffa
Shana Tova to all who celebrate
