Jokes

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IowaDevil
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Re: Jokes

Post by IowaDevil » September 22nd, 2020, 12:55 pm

OZZIE4DUKE wrote:
September 22nd, 2020, 11:42 am
D16A3DD4-FC8F-46D9-8DE5-68ECB0225F82.jpeg
Time for a laugh! :9f:

:)) =)) :)) =))
:happy-bouncyblue: :9f: :happy-bouncyblue: :9f: :happy-bouncyblue: :9f: :happy-bouncyblue: :9f:
mattman91
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Re: Jokes

Post by mattman91 » October 20th, 2020, 9:12 pm

What happened when the communist started his car?

It kept Stalin.
:obscene-drinkingbuddies:
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Re: Jokes

Post by mattman91 » October 20th, 2020, 9:16 pm

I asked my girlfriend if I was the only one she had slept with.

She said yes “all the other guys were at least a seven or an eight”
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Re: Jokes

Post by lawgrad91 » October 22nd, 2020, 9:55 am

mattman91 wrote:
October 20th, 2020, 9:16 pm
I asked my girlfriend if I was the only one she had slept with.

She said yes “all the other guys were at least a seven or an eight”
Just spit water all over my keyboard. =)) :ymdevil: :9f:

If this were several years ago, before I got fed up with OY and you got banned, I would spork you.
Iron Duke #1471997.
mattman91
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Re: Jokes

Post by mattman91 » October 22nd, 2020, 10:12 am

lawgrad91 wrote:
October 22nd, 2020, 9:55 am
mattman91 wrote:
October 20th, 2020, 9:16 pm
I asked my girlfriend if I was the only one she had slept with.

She said yes “all the other guys were at least a seven or an eight”
Just spit water all over my keyboard. =)) :ymdevil: :9f:

If this were several years ago, before I got fed up with OY and you got banned, I would spork you.
OY is overrated. This place is where it is at!

mattman "OY Banned List Class of 2020" 91
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lawgrad91
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Re: Jokes

Post by lawgrad91 » October 22nd, 2020, 10:31 am

mattman91 wrote:
October 22nd, 2020, 10:12 am

OY is overrated. This place is where it is at!

mattman "OY Banned List Class of 2020" 91
:tools-spork: :tools-spork: :tools-spork: :tools-spork: :tools-spork: :9f:
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Nrrrrvous
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Re: Jokes

Post by Nrrrrvous » October 23rd, 2020, 8:24 am

“I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.”
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CameronBornAndBred
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Re: Jokes

Post by CameronBornAndBred » October 23rd, 2020, 8:49 am

Nrrrrvous wrote:
October 23rd, 2020, 8:24 am
“I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.”
I remember my grandfather's last words. "A truck!"
Duke born, Duke bred, cooking on a grill so I'm tailgate fed.
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Re: Jokes

Post by Phredd3 » October 23rd, 2020, 9:53 am

CameronBornAndBred wrote:
October 23rd, 2020, 8:49 am
Nrrrrvous wrote:
October 23rd, 2020, 8:24 am
“I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.”
I remember my grandfather's last words. "A truck!"
It was the drink that killed him.
He was an alcoholic?
No, he was hit by a Guinness truck.

(cue another thread)
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Re: Jokes

Post by OZZIE4DUKE » October 23rd, 2020, 12:04 pm

A little golf humor:


A man takes the day off work and decides to go out golfing. He is on the second hole when he notices a frog sitting next to the green. He thinks nothing of it and is about to shoot when he hears, "Ribbit. 9- Iron". The man looks around and doesn't see anyone. "Ribbit. 9-Iron." He looks at the frog and decides to prove the frog wrong. He puts his other club away and grabs a 9-iron. Boom! he hits it 10 inches from the cup.

He is shocked! He says to the frog, "Wow that's amazing. You must be a lucky frog, eh?" The frog replies "Ribbit. Lucky frog." The man decides to take the frog with him to the next hole. "What do you think frog?" the man asks. "Ribbit. 3-wood." The guy takes out a 3-wood, and boom! A hole in one. The man is befuddled and doesn't know what to say.

By the end of the day, the man has golfed the best game of golf in his life and asks the frog, "OK where to next?" The frog replies, "Ribbit. Las Vegas." They go to Las Vegas and the guy says, "OK frog, now what?" The frog says, "Ribbit. Roulette." Upon approaching the roulette table, the man asks, "What do you think I should bet?" The frog replies, "Ribbit. $3000,black 6." Now, this is a million-to-one shot to win, but after the golf game, the man figures what the heck. Boom - tons of cash come sliding back across the table.

The man takes his winnings and buys the best room in the hotel. He sits the frog down and says, "Frog, I don't know how to repay you. You've won me all this money and I am forever grateful." The frog replies, "Ribbit, Kiss Me." He figures, Why not? After all the frog did for him, it is a small price to pay. With the kiss, however, the frog turns into a gorgeous 15-year-old girl.

"And that, your honor, is how the girl ended up in my room." :9f:
Your paradigm of optimism

:9f: :9f: Go To Hell carolina! Go To Hell! :9f: :9f:
9F! 9F! 9F! 9F! 9F! 9F! 9F! 9F! 9F!

http://ecogreen.greentechaffiliate.com
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Re: Jokes

Post by fuse » October 24th, 2020, 2:20 pm

Mushroom walks in to a bar.

Bartender says, “Sorry, fella, we don’t serve your kind here.”

Mushroom: “Hey, why not? I’m just a fun guy.”
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Re: Jokes

Post by Nrrrrvous » October 24th, 2020, 3:59 pm

fuse wrote:
October 24th, 2020, 2:20 pm
Mushroom walks in to a bar.

Bartender says, “Sorry, fella, we don’t serve your kind here.”

Mushroom: “Hey, why not? I’m just a fun guy.”
And the Morel of the story is?
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Re: Jokes

Post by Nrrrrvous » October 24th, 2020, 3:59 pm

When life gives you melons, you might be dyslexic.
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Re: Jokes

Post by CameronBornAndBred » October 24th, 2020, 4:48 pm

Nrrrrvous wrote:
October 24th, 2020, 3:59 pm
When life gives you melons, you might be dyslexic.
When life gives me melons, I tend to turn them into paintings.
Duke born, Duke bred, cooking on a grill so I'm tailgate fed.
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fuse
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Re: Jokes

Post by fuse » October 25th, 2020, 9:34 am

A man tells his doctor, “Doc, help me. I’m addicted to Twitter!”

The doctor replies, “Sorry, I don’t follow you …”
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Re: Jokes

Post by Nrrrrvous » October 27th, 2020, 2:30 pm

How do you get a Tarheel off of your front porch?


Pay him for the pizza.
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Re: Jokes

Post by devildeac » October 31st, 2020, 9:14 am

Today, if a ghost is wearing a large, white, cotton polyester covering typically found on a mattress, what do you call that?
[redacted] them and the horses they rode in on.
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Re: Jokes

Post by richardjackson199 » October 31st, 2020, 10:38 am

devildeac wrote:
October 31st, 2020, 9:14 am
Today, if a ghost is wearing a large, white, cotton polyester covering typically found on a mattress, what do you call that?
OPK's last minute costume? (~~)
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Re: Jokes

Post by OPK » October 31st, 2020, 10:42 am

richardjackson199 wrote:
October 31st, 2020, 10:38 am
devildeac wrote:
October 31st, 2020, 9:14 am
Today, if a ghost is wearing a large, white, cotton polyester covering typically found on a mattress, what do you call that?
OPK's last minute costume? (~~)
Nice!

A friend told me last night that when she was in college, she put on a turquoise dress and taped tampons all over it.

She was going as Picasso’s Blue Period.

(not sure I should pass that along, certainly won’t OY).
Last edited by OPK on October 31st, 2020, 10:44 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Jokes

Post by OPK » October 31st, 2020, 10:43 am

(sorry, duplicate post)
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