If that ain’t an omen, I am not sure what is.
You can't make this stuff up!
Moderator: CameronBornAndBred
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Re: You can't make this stuff up!
Got a guy charged with stealing his baby mama's mother's ashes from her motel room.
Iron Duke #1471997.
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Re: You can't make this stuff up!
Whoa. That’s bizarre.
Most people say that is it is the intellect which makes a great scientist. They are wrong: it is character.
-- Albert Einstein
-- Albert Einstein
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Re: You can't make this stuff up!
Tattoos should be spell-checked PRIOR to their application. Coworker Awbrey just showed me pictures of a victim who has the, um, "word" "Royaty" tattooed across her chest.
Iron Duke #1471997.
- CameronBornAndBred
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Re: You can't make this stuff up!
How qeen.
Duke born, Duke bred, cooking on a grill so I'm tailgate fed.
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Re: You can't make this stuff up!
Virginia is a Commonwealth, not a state. This is meaningless except to graduates of Virginia COMMONWEALTH University, and I suppose a few stuffed shirts in Richmond.
Saying that, I am continually amazed by the annoyances that inmates and their families blame on being in a Commonwealth.
My bank robber who is set for court on Monday just told his mama they don't get to watch the NFL in his pod. Mama's response? "Well, Virginia is a Commonwealth."
Saying that, I am continually amazed by the annoyances that inmates and their families blame on being in a Commonwealth.
My bank robber who is set for court on Monday just told his mama they don't get to watch the NFL in his pod. Mama's response? "Well, Virginia is a Commonwealth."
Iron Duke #1471997.
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Re: You can't make this stuff up!
Not to be outdone with their previous call...
Bank robber's daddy passed away this past Monday. (I'm genuinely sorry about this; I liked the man, even if his sons were of less than sterling character. May he RIP.)
Bank robber was on the phone last night with his mama. (The parents are divorced; mama has a new husband.) Mama is talking about Daddy's remains. She says, "you should put him in a place where he was the happiest. I think it would be the FLEA MARKET.
And yes, she was quite serious. And no, they are not from Varnish County. They are from somewhere in New York.
Bank robber's daddy passed away this past Monday. (I'm genuinely sorry about this; I liked the man, even if his sons were of less than sterling character. May he RIP.)
Bank robber was on the phone last night with his mama. (The parents are divorced; mama has a new husband.) Mama is talking about Daddy's remains. She says, "you should put him in a place where he was the happiest. I think it would be the FLEA MARKET.
And yes, she was quite serious. And no, they are not from Varnish County. They are from somewhere in New York.
Iron Duke #1471997.
- OZZIE4DUKE
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Re: You can't make this stuff up!
lawgrad91 wrote: ↑October 27th, 2023, 11:31 amNot to be outdone with their previous call...
Bank robber's daddy passed away this past Monday. (I'm genuinely sorry about this; I liked the man, even if his sons were of less than sterling character. May he RIP.)
Bank robber was on the phone last night with his mama. (The parents are divorced; mama has a new husband.) Mama is talking about Daddy's remains. She says, "you should put him in a place where he was the happiest. I think it would be the FLEA MARKET.
And yes, she was quite serious. And no, they are not from Varnish County. They are from somewhere in New York.
Your paradigm of optimism
Go To Hell carolina! Go To Hell!
9F! 9F! 9F! 9F! 9F! 9F! 9F! 9F! 9F!
http://ecogreen.greentechaffiliate.com
Go To Hell carolina! Go To Hell!
9F! 9F! 9F! 9F! 9F! 9F! 9F! 9F! 9F!
http://ecogreen.greentechaffiliate.com
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Re: You can't make this stuff up!
This case is set on my docket tomorrow afternoon. (Of course it would fall on my docket.)
Iron Duke #1471997.
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Re: You can't make this stuff up!
I have a defendant on the traffic docket whose first name is “Espin.”
Iron Duke #1471997.
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Re: You can't make this stuff up!
His parents were sports junkies?
“The invention of basketball was not an accident. It was developed to meet a need. Those boys simply would not play 'Drop the Handkerchief.'”
~ James Naismith
~ James Naismith
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Re: You can't make this stuff up!
Deputies received a call yesterday regarding an assault, and when they met with the two assaulted individuals, they said they had been attacked by Santa and the Grinch.
BTW, the neighbors were literally dressed as Santa and the Grinch.
Alcohol was involved all around, and no one ended up getting arrested. Whew.
BTW, the neighbors were literally dressed as Santa and the Grinch.
Alcohol was involved all around, and no one ended up getting arrested. Whew.
Iron Duke #1471997.
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Re: You can't make this stuff up!
lawgrad91 wrote: ↑December 26th, 2023, 4:32 pmDeputies received a call yesterday regarding an assault, and when they met with the two assaulted individuals, they said they had been attacked by Santa and the Grinch.
BTW, the neighbors were literally dressed as Santa and the Grinch.
Alcohol was involved all around, and no one ended up getting arrested. Whew.
“The invention of basketball was not an accident. It was developed to meet a need. Those boys simply would not play 'Drop the Handkerchief.'”
~ James Naismith
~ James Naismith
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Re: You can't make this stuff up!
Update: all parties went to the magistrate's office and took out private warrants on each other. Santa, the Grinch, and the two assaulted individuals.lawgrad91 wrote: ↑December 26th, 2023, 4:32 pmDeputies received a call yesterday regarding an assault, and when they met with the two assaulted individuals, they said they had been attacked by Santa and the Grinch.
BTW, the neighbors were literally dressed as Santa and the Grinch.
Alcohol was involved all around, and no one ended up getting arrested. Whew.
We are going to drop all charges. Perhaps we should set them all up in a rasslin' ring on a Saturday night at Bassett High School, and make some money.
Iron Duke #1471997.
Re: You can't make this stuff up!
Put them all on the naughty list and send them to bed without supper.lawgrad91 wrote: ↑January 4th, 2024, 10:34 amUpdate: all parties went to the magistrate's office and took out private warrants on each other. Santa, the Grinch, and the two assaulted individuals.lawgrad91 wrote: ↑December 26th, 2023, 4:32 pmDeputies received a call yesterday regarding an assault, and when they met with the two assaulted individuals, they said they had been attacked by Santa and the Grinch.
BTW, the neighbors were literally dressed as Santa and the Grinch.
Alcohol was involved all around, and no one ended up getting arrested. Whew.
We are going to drop all charges. Perhaps we should set them all up in a rasslin' ring on a Saturday night at Bassett High School, and make some money.
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Re: You can't make this stuff up!
Too long between posts….
Tonight the 911 center got a call from the Patrick County Sheriff’s Office. Apparently a UPS driver stopped at an address in Henry County, and a chicken jumped in the truck while he was stopped.
Henny Penny rode all the way to Patrick County and jumped out at the sheriff’s office, where deputies are chasing her in the parking lot with an eye to returning her to her home. Patrick Co wanted Henry Co to know in case there was a call regarding a chicken thief.
Tonight the 911 center got a call from the Patrick County Sheriff’s Office. Apparently a UPS driver stopped at an address in Henry County, and a chicken jumped in the truck while he was stopped.
Henny Penny rode all the way to Patrick County and jumped out at the sheriff’s office, where deputies are chasing her in the parking lot with an eye to returning her to her home. Patrick Co wanted Henry Co to know in case there was a call regarding a chicken thief.
Iron Duke #1471997.
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Re: You can't make this stuff up!
lawgrad91 wrote: ↑February 23rd, 2024, 9:22 pmToo long between posts….
Tonight the 911 center got a call from the Patrick County Sheriff’s Office. Apparently a UPS driver stopped at an address in Henry County, and a chicken jumped in the truck while he was stopped.
Henny Penny rode all the way to Patrick County and jumped out at the sheriff’s office, where deputies are chasing her in the parking lot with an eye to returning her to her home. Patrick Co wanted Henry Co to know in case there was a call regarding a chicken thief.
Duke born, Duke bred, cooking on a grill so I'm tailgate fed.
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Re: You can't make this stuff up!
The case of the perfect emoticon has been solved!CameronBornAndBred wrote: ↑February 23rd, 2024, 9:54 pmlawgrad91 wrote: ↑February 23rd, 2024, 9:22 pmToo long between posts….
Tonight the 911 center got a call from the Patrick County Sheriff’s Office. Apparently a UPS driver stopped at an address in Henry County, and a chicken jumped in the truck while he was stopped.
Henny Penny rode all the way to Patrick County and jumped out at the sheriff’s office, where deputies are chasing her in the parking lot with an eye to returning her to her home. Patrick Co wanted Henry Co to know in case there was a call regarding a chicken thief.
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Re: You can't make this stuff up!
I have never seen a more apt emoticon. Besides 9F, anyway….Phredd3 wrote: ↑February 24th, 2024, 6:43 pmThe case of the perfect emoticon has been solved!CameronBornAndBred wrote: ↑February 23rd, 2024, 9:54 pmlawgrad91 wrote: ↑February 23rd, 2024, 9:22 pmToo long between posts….
Tonight the 911 center got a call from the Patrick County Sheriff’s Office. Apparently a UPS driver stopped at an address in Henry County, and a chicken jumped in the truck while he was stopped.
Henny Penny rode all the way to Patrick County and jumped out at the sheriff’s office, where deputies are chasing her in the parking lot with an eye to returning her to her home. Patrick Co wanted Henry Co to know in case there was a call regarding a chicken thief.
Iron Duke #1471997.